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« Previewing: Pineapple Express (2008)Extremist Arabs! »

The business of getting married!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Thursday, July 24, 2008 8:08:40 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (7036) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (193 votes cast)

    Marriage, is just like anything else in this life. It's a partnership that has assets, partners, resources, expenses, rights, obligations, expectations, challenges, competition, ethics, rules, standards, planning, customers and profit. Just like any business out there.

    Although this might not be the most romantic thing to say, especially by newlyweds. These are very serious issues that any successful couple need to address for their relationship to flourish and prosper, neglecting the business side and relying completely on chance and spontaneity will usually result in unexpected situations.

    A recent 15 year study concluded that Married people achieve and have better quality of life than if they had remained single taking all other factors as constants. It also concluded that people who get divorced decline to 77% of the achievement of a single person had they not been married (which is quite significant) considering that the sum of the married couple was greater than two single persons.

    But it all boils down to few very important pillars.

    Love, responsibility, planning, sharing, sacrifice, and one very important role, management! Like any successful business. There needs to be people who are responsible for various aspects of the "marriage business". Someone needs to be the Chief financial officer (CFO) of the enterprise. Or it will get bankrupt in no time!

    More than 50% of all divorces were due to poor financial planning. People over spending, or misspending. While the income in the US happens to be one of the greatest in the world, poor financial planning by couples landed so many at the hard floors of courts with bitter divorces.

    This all leads me to an amazing deep meaning that is driven from the Hadith, "Who ever can Afford it, should get married". Now I'm not promoting anything here. But this thought popped into my mind. Why was affording it considered as a pretense for marriage? Did people know something we don't these days? Actually, we all know it! We just choose to neglect it.

    Romance, is one of the pillars of Marriage, but it's the most delicate. So delicate that it's the first to go with the least roughness. Something that is usually accompanied by financial hardships.

    Although, many men and women would persevere through the hard times. Many others would crumble and decide to just give up.

    All of these negative thoughts could be avoided with some simple planning. The odds are, more people would end up much happier had they taken some financial classes. Or perhaps, some family financial planning courses.

    In my humble opinion, such family building classes should be prerequisite to marriage in any country with high divorce rate (which is about the whole world!)

    Marriage is exactly like a business. It has it's joys and disappointments. The better you know how to run your business the more successful and secure you are. Now shouldn't we all apply that to the greatest partnership in our life?

    Other Memories Documented on July 24
    « Previewing: Pineapple Express (2008)Extremist Arabs! »

    Memories....

    Well Q you are very right about the financial issues, but I think what gives marriage the best chance is for both parties to be on  the same page , see you might want to take of the finances of your family but your partner might think its the time to have fun and think of serious subjects  later. and that is true with all issues of marriage the more things you already agree on the less arguments and fights, thus more chances of success.  
    • #2
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 7/24/2008 11:04:28 AM
    Of course it takes planning and management from many facets, financial being one of the most crucial. It's 1000 times easier said than done though.

    I agree on the Marriage 101 classes. How many though would show up? Probably the serious couples.

    I believe though that the key here is changing the mentality of marriages. Many are being forced (different from arranged) and others are simply just hormone driven or movie-romance driven (probably going to be called the Noor Gumus effect).

    The younger generations are not taking into account all the extra stuff that comes with marriage. A week ago my married friend of two years summed it up in a funny way: "You know there's more to it that you didn't consider when you wake up [the next day] and say, 'ok, now what?'"
    • #3
    • laila
    • Linux OS Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 7/24/2008 1:05:34 PM
    lol, you JUST got married and already you're an expert :)
    maybe a little bit late,
    Alf mabrouk ya man, inshalla tet-hano ya rab !
    sheklak dares el marriage thing very well :D
    • #5
    • Iman
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 7/24/2008 9:01:22 PM
    Mabrouk on your marriage, Q!

    :-)
    Tamara
    You're right as well. Compromise is key. It's very important. Getting on the same page requires a lot of hard work

    KJ
    You're totally right, it's way easier said than done. Mainly because we're human and therefore, our individuality continues to drag us apart. However, these are tough challenges that the couple must discuss and agree. Or even pseudo agree on what they want to do.
    Common goals and planning bring the whole thing closer and makes it doable

    Laila
    I might have just got married but that doesn't mean I haven't given this a lot of thought over the years. Now I know you're kidding, but if you look over the past few years on what I've specifically written about marriage you would know that I try to rationalize as much of this black box as I can
    No one can claim to be "The expert" on it. Even experts who claim that are way off! Mainly because people's experience are so different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.
    Now, how've you been ? :)

    Sharifo
    Thanks man, 3o2balak ya rab

    Iman
    Thank you very much my old friend, it means a lot to me.
    How're things with you? Hope Chicago is still treating you right
    • #7
    • laila
    • Linux OS Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 7/25/2008 1:25:09 PM
    i've been fine.

    True u do have alot of marriage posts even pre marriage---hope its going great :)
    Oh Laila ...! Had I known what I've been missing I would have been married 20 years ago :)
    So emm . .yeah, it's going great :)
    lol ... we need an Agony Uncle column ...
    So true, but a note on sacrifice, it has to be equal otherwise one spouse becomes a martyr (in their own head) and resents the other person.  
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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