ya fatta7 ya 3leem, a9ba7na w a0ba7 el molk llelah.
Sheklak sale7' el post o enta ga3ed btetsa77ar.

Salamz.

I love this post! Good because some dimwits out there need to understand love & these stupid affairs - relations & how they work - I do not think of looks in a guy aham shee respect & a charming wit; They need to know that physical appearances do not last for long...

Walla makharrab 3aleina gheer hadool elly 3al TV with their fake boobs & noses!

All I read was bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

"Consider it an advice, or an eye opener. Especially right after he dumps you, or you decide "What the hell was I thinking"

"So remember, not to be boring. Learn to carry a conversation. Have patience and remember that skis is truly skin-deep! Oh and get a freakin degree!"


come on now qwaider, shoo bitfakirna? is our #1 priority in life securing a guy? f**k guys!  7abibi we all have lives, we're all busy.  If a guy perceives me as stupid or judgemental or vain or a golddigger then he's not the one for me and that's that!  I'm not going to change my behavior or the way I do things, no matter how 'wrong' or 'odd' they are, just for the sake of increasing my chances of securing a guy and I don't think any girl should either.  This is bullshit, if I'm going to change my faults it's not going to be to attract and keep guys, it's going to be for me!

I'm sure you didn't mean anything personal and you probably think I took it the wrong way, LOL, but I just couldn't help it I had to express my annoyance!  

yeah, most men would say "make love to my brain...."!!!

Interesting post Qwaider but guys try really hard to impress girls too and most of the time its really offensive because the stuff they choose to brag (or lie) about is usually so materialistic and they think that's what a girl wants to hear. You know, like when a guy is talking to a girl and he is instantly like, "I own this, and this, and this, and this, and I just bought this for my mom and dad, and brother, and nothing for my sister because she's married so her husband's family should deal with her, oh and look at my new cell phone it does cartwheels and...blah, blah."  Tiresome.  Unfortunately there are women who are into that.  Usually they are really stupid and need someone to subsidize their shopping because they are incapable of getting a job and doing that themselves.  

If you wanted to write a post in appreciation “educated outspoken woman” than just write a post in appreciation of educated outspoken women, that was not it!!!!

What’s wrong? Well, why don’t you go back and read what you wrote.  You’re tone was condescending and on the arrogant side.   I’m sorry but unless you’re close to perfect or you’re mr.most sought-after-eligible bachelor or a relationship therapist it’s not in your place to ‘educate’ women about maintaining relationships, especially if you really don’ thave anything worthwhile about the subject to say, we very well know it’s not all about beauty.

Those “myths” that you stated…..ummmm, degree or no degree, do you actually think there are women that believe that shit?  Maybe as 13 year olds, or maybe a small minority, or I don’t know-if this is your experience with women then something is flawed with you that you attract those types of women (or vice versa).

“Myth: You can have any guy as long as you have assets! “ I mean seriously, who do you think you’re talking to?  The average woman isn’t near that stupid!  “Myth: Jerks are the best guys there is!”  huh????? “So remember, not to be boring. Learn to carry a conversation. Have patience and remember that skis is truly skin-deep! Oh and get a freakin degree!”  3anjad, humble yourself shway!
Just because we get surgical enhancements and like to go to spas and like to shop and like makeup and fashion it doesn’t mean we’re doing it to get guys, seriously, get over yourselves!  I have 5 female aunts/cousins that have gotten cosmetic surgeries and every one of them got them done as a married woman.
qwaider I'm sorry that I sound mean and I’m not saying you’re arrogant because I don’t know you to think that, but your tone in this post was arrogant and it’s super annoying, and I’m saying exactly what’s on my mind.

"Just because we get surgical enhancements and like to go to spas and like to shop and like makeup and fashion it doesn’t mean we’re doing it to get guys, seriously, get over yourselves!"

Why would any woman get a "surgical enhancement" if not to impress a guy?  What girl goes under the knife in order to make herself feel better and if she would go to that extremes for "herself" then truly, what a self-centered vain and ignorant moron.

"What’s wrong? Well, why don’t you go back and read what you wrote.  You’re tone was condescending and on the arrogant side"

Wowwwwwwwwwwww.  I wanted to say the same thing to you when you visited my blog only to tell me that my comments on the American media re Ahmadinejad were "spinning" and then you scoffed at me scoffing at the American media.  And then you were shocked at how unreceptive I was to your "constructive criticism."  Just imagine that Qwaider is giving "constructive criticism" to stupid girls.  Surely you are a fan of constructive criticism.

I actually found this article to be surgically accurate and straight to the point.
Some people have issues, and most women I met have been nuts about looks just to please a guy.
Funny thing, only girls pay attention. The guys seem to be the last to notice. And I can't tell you how many girls have cried over my shoulder because they did all of that, and the man didn't notice!
If there was anything I would advise you in return is to be a little bit more observant and sensitive. We like that.

Daaaaaaaayum.  I never saw Q-diddy mad before.

But Q-diddy I didn't like what you said here:

"And newsflash, these are NOT the minorities, these are the majority of women. The minority is the educated, open-minded, broad vision women. And don't confuse the Arabic culture with what you see in the US, or what's being stereotyped in TV, dumb men and smart women!

The average women, appears to be running after fashion, surgical enhancements, and fake looks, diet, and all sort of crap, why? Because they completely believe that their looks are going to get them what they want."

I don't believe that's fair or accurate at all.  You can't speak about what the majority of women are like.  Definitely there are some materialistic freaks out there but the majority of women no matter which country they reside in are not stupid gold diggers, you know this and only spoke out of anger, right?

Certainly you can't judge all women based on the women you have met.  Just like it would not be fair for a woman who has had a bad streak of luck with men to judge all other men based on whatever abusive relationship she had in the past.  The general rule, Q-diddy, is that you should never make such generalizations about people based on religion, sex, race, etc.  In my line of work I come into contact with a lot of women who are not in the best financial situation.  They would give anything to have a little money to make sure their children or grandchildren will have a chance to go to school and thrive.  That's the average woman.  All over the world.  Not the dumb broads you are meeting or the celebutards on television.

I know the kind of women you are talking about but again they are an exception not the norm. Do you really want to be on record as stating that most women are vain materialistic dummies?  

Anyway, I am not denying that there are some really dumb broads out there, there are for sure.  You don't need to travel to Lebanon, just take a look around the different blogs (not just Jordanian before the Jordis get all defensive).

Sure Q, but what is smart to you?  Does being smart mean someone has to have a degree?  Because I have met a lot of people who are totally brilliant but they have never graduated from college or they have never had the economic opportunties that the rest of us have had the privilege of having.  Are you telling me that you wouldn't marry some dirt poor Arab girl who was sweet and smart as hell just because she didn't have a degree?

"blog troll?" Bring on the personal attacks, ma3lash, I can take you all on, and I still won't stoop to that level!!!! LOOOOOOOL, and I’ll still say what’s on my mind! I didn't criticize you outside of the context of your post, bas ma3lash.

“You might not have, maybe because you have a limited set of people around you and I don't blame you. “  and how on earth would you know that??? You’ve never even met me! FYI, between college, internships, graduate programs, and work I’ve actually lived in 4 different cities in my life, one of them being in the middle east, and I’m not claiming to be a master of knowledge and wisdom, but my experiences with people and the world are definately not ‘limited’!

“your education will define your worth.”  I find that statement demeaning, I’m highly educated at my age and I refuse to let education define my worth, there’s wayyyyyyy more to me than a graduate degree.  

but really- Qwaider, your post was about women doing things to get guys or maintain relationships, and that's where I had a problem and that’s what I responded to.   We weren't talking about appreciation, insecurity, self esteem, and whatever other things you said in your response to me, those things may or may not be true but that’s not what your post was about and that’s not what I responded to for you to even bring those subjects up.  Ba3dain I find it funny that you’re telling me not to judge but you’re the one that’s doing some major judging.  You missed the point about why I mentioned my relatives and their surgeries, the point that I wanted to make is they weren’t doing it to GET GUYS because they’re married women, my point had nothing to do with appreciation or self worth or pleasing or whatever, that’s a different issue.

P.S. I’m not offended or mad, il mawdoo3 mabyiswa wallah, I just found it annoying and wanted to speak up

You know what bugs the hell out of me more than uneducated women, Qwaider?  It's the women with the "I got mine" attitude.  They're usually educated and have a little bit of money and don't give a rat's ass about anyone or anything other than themselves.  They are particularly vain and more likely than not to go under the knife to fix whatever they think is wrong with them.  They are usually "educated" which is why they can afford to be such materialistic horrible and vapid creatures.

i think it is fair (and probably an understatement) to say that women are far more concerned with their appearance than men.

Anyone working in the cosmetics industry could tell you this. How many men are willing to spend $80 for a tiny tube of "age defying" cream ? or $200 for a hairstyle ? or $3000 for extensions ?

Why do most department stores place the womens clothes, cosmetics section on the main floor and place the men's clothes in the basement ?

Why are most tv commercials targetted at women ? (US networks)

Why is most of the income and products form any fashion house aimed at women ?

don't get me started about the shoes. How many men are wiling to spend $3500 for a tiny little designer label handbag ?

Yes not all women are like that, and each can be judged as an individual, but I still don't think the gneeralisation is unfair.

Moreover for people who can afford it, none of what I mentioned above is wrong. Its just that i see more than my share of women who buy these things to the point that they max out their credit cards, and barely have enough to pay for food that month. To be fair I occasionaly sometimes do the same with electronics, gadgets and PC hardware. The difference is those provide a valid function as opposed merely enhance appearance.

Wow, that's one heated arguement. I personally like the post and i believe that Q meant it in a good way. But I must tell you Q that SOME women DO dress up, get their hair and nails done or whatever for themselves. I am one of those women! I wear the veil and no males (other than the ones permitted to see me withouth hejab) see my hair (Not even my fiance), yet i still get my hair done all the time. Why? For me! When I look good, I feel good. I do it for myself and for noone else. Sure, many girls do it to seek attention from the opposite sex but it's not a general rule. There are other females that are just like me, i'm sure! Especially girls who wear the veil, they need some breathing space, need to dress up and do all the things unveiled females do. And going to the spa, that's just how we pamper ourselves and it feels good! Sometimes we need to give ourselves that.
We'll always have different types of girls. Those as you described above and others who are educated, well mannered, and open-minded. But don't neglect the fact that this also applies for males too! There are lots of guys who are shallow just like the girls you described in your post, but unlike you, I will not refer to them as the majority.

"i think it is fair (and probably an understatement) to say that women are far more concerned with their appearance than men."

OK but not fair to say that most women are and that the ones that aren't are the exceptions.

"Anyone working in the cosmetics industry could tell you this. How many men are willing to spend $80 for a tiny tube of "age defying" cream ? or $200 for a hairstyle ? or $3000 for extensions ?"

Yes, unfortunately all these cosmetic companies were started by men who like women to look a certain way so that x amount of years later men can complain that women are so superficial and vain and blah.

"Yes not all women are like that, and each can be judged as an individual, but I still don't think the gneeralisation is unfair."

Dude.  The majority of women in the world are poor.  And more preoccupied about where they are gonna get the grains they need to feed their kids instead of obsessing about this other stuff.

Sigh.

"Moreover for people who can afford it, none of what I mentioned above is wrong."

"To be fair I occasionaly sometimes do the same with electronics, gadgets and PC hardware. The difference is those provide a valid function as opposed merely enhance appearance."

LOL.

Deemco you said, "Why? For me! When I look good, I feel good. I do it for myself and for noone else."  

When I want to make myself feel better I try doing something to help someone else.  That usually does the trick, going to bed at night knowing you did something meaningful for someone.

Women can wear makeup, do their hair, wear nice clothes and shoes and make themselves look pretty or whatever all they want.  There is no law against that.  We don't need to make excuses to men about why we do this or that.  It's just that the reasoning and rationale that I am hearing on this thread are bogus.  "I do it because it makes me feel good" is kinda lame.  You should be comfortable and happy with who you are regardless of whether you went to a hair dresser that day or not.  You guys (women) should just say, "I wear makeup, do my hair, wear certain clothes" because I need to function in this society and look presentable and unfortunately the power structure in this society demands that people (especially women) look neat, polished and presentable all the time!"  Which is the truth.

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him is he still wrong.

CSS, yes the emphasis on looks isn't just a fault with the way women think but with what men expect of them as well.

One point often cited as an example is the longevity of male news anchors. People respect the older gey-haired male news anchor, but the female anchors get changed as soon as the first wrinkle is visible.

"If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him is he still wrong."

LOL.  

CSS, helping people does make me feel good, but looking good also makes me feel good and I don't appreciate you saying that it's "lame". Each person has his own way of feeling good about him/herself and I don't think you have the right to judge me for that.
And when I do my hair I do it at home, not at the hair salon and it does NOT mean that I'm not comfortable with who I am. On the contrary, I'm a person who's very comfortable in her own skin and I honestly love myself (I know i may sound nacissistic, but it's the truth). I don't wait around for people to acknowledge my beauty or whatever. True beauty comes from within, not what you see on the surface. But there's nothing wrong with physically looking good

Deemco, you spoke my mind!

Aside from all of this, why would you guys even care?  I'm one of those girls that's into makeup, I go to spas and get pampered, I have a couple of designer purses, I even have some high-end designer clothes, luxury car, I like to stay in nice hotels when I travel, and who knows one day I might consider getting some cosmetic surgery if I want to-now why the hell do any of you care?  You can call me insecure, vain, selfish, materialistic, even stupid, I don’t care and I don’t feel the need to justify these personal choices to any of you, if anyone cares that much then they should get a life (and I’m not accusing anyone of that, I’m speaking generally). But I have to say I DEFINITELY don’t do it to get guys.

Guys, if you’re not interested in girls like this, like me, then allah ma3akum! there’s a girl out there for you and there’s a guy out there for me and that’s that! I don’t think in terms of ‘getting a guy’. Why would you care to pass judgments on each other or to advise anyone on how to get your attention or to make yourself more appealing.  So that’s what I wanted to add because I don’t think I made it clear at the beginning.

Asma, I understand your point. My mom is 60 something, she still cares about her appearance. she's not trying to attract men, she's been married for 40+ years :)

I love her, it still puzzles me why its important to her though. lol I remember asking her when I was 8 why she spent so much time doing her makeup if she's already married. Of course as an adult, I know better than to ask !

I think to have a male audience sympathise, you have to ask them why a billionaire would work 14+ hours a day when they already have more money than they can spend.

Hani, you know what's funny? at the same time that you're replying to my comment I was writing on your blog LOL!

I actually do have an answer for why I do those things but I'm not going to answer it or justify it so that people can judge me about it, I just don't know why some people care so much. Oh, and I think your mom's cute!

Qwaider, looooooooooooooooooool, I don't understand why you keep thinking I'm angry or heated!  Wallah I'm not, maybe the first reply I was really annoyed but I'm chill now LOL.  7ata the last two replies I wrote I was laughing while I was typing, me fee ishi biza3il! Like I said before, il mawdoo3 mabyiswa!

Anyway, I do know why I do those things, you're right that there is a reason, but I'm not going to state them because I don't feel like discussing those things and this is far off from the subject of your initial post.  Facade or no facade, shoo bidkum feena?
Yalla Beace

Jad Allah be3eenak sam, I wasn't really surprised about the girls reaction in this post :P

I was expecting it before I finished reading your post :D

You're right Deemco, I shouldn't label anyone as vain or lame just because they like to do those things.  All women do some of the above including myself but I don't do it to feel good about myself, I just feel that I have to play this stupid game that society says you have to play in order to "fit in" and get ahead in work.  Basically I do it to be presentable because I'm the youngest person in my class at school and the youngest person at work so I try to look polished and professional all the time to detract attention away from my age. But when I am home or with my friends the pointy super high heels or boots come off and I am wearing Pumas or flip flops and jeans and my hair is in a ponytail.  And I'm certainly not going to slap any makeup on just to look pleasing to... myself.

It's interesting to hear both you and Asoom take the positions that you have taken though, because both of you have commented (or blogged) about wearing hijab.  

Of course people that wear hijab have the right to do all of the things that you have both mentioned above but all of the people that I know who have chosen to wear hijab actually are very, very religious people who are not into consumerism and aren't sheep to the capitalist enterprise.  They don't care about plastic surgery, luxury cars, designer handbags, or any of that other stuff.  And even when they purchase high end items they don't really talk about it publicly with such pride or whatever.

I mean wearing hijab is a sign of religious piousness is it not?  It's your dedication and affirmation to live your life according to a set of principles and I don't really understand how wanting to stay in luxury hotels and spending money on designer handbags and shoes, etc., matches with the idea of why people (women) wear hijab in the first place.  Either you are submitting to God or you are submitting to consumerism and the almighty dollar.

I know this sounds judgmental but if you could hear my tone of voice you would know that I'm really not trying to be.  And I do feel slightly hypocritical because I like buying stuff and looking a certain way too.  It's just that we should be a little more honest about why we are sheep and think about it more.

Why do you think wearing Hijab is sign of religious piousness?  This is un-fair comment and like what extremist says about women who does wear hijab. You are wrong because there is no difference from women who wear hijab or not, they have the same desire to be nice or travel a round world or stay in luxury hotel.

For example, there was estimation that women in Saudi Arabia spend 2 billion dollar on make-up and cosmetic surgery.
To be religious man or women, that does not mean he or she has to ware certain clothes.
I know women who have get their own designers   to design their Hijab .you can not imagine their prices. if you do your part as Muslim be paying for poor people , it will be sin if you do not enjoy yourself

I really liked this blog Qwaider. Everything you wrote is so true. Good job ;-)

There is no difference from women who wearS hijab or not, they have the same desire to look nice or travel a round world or stay in luxury hotel.For example, there was estimation that women in Saudi Arabia spend 2 billion dollar on make-up and cosmetic surgery.
To be religious man or women, that does not mean he or she has to ware certain clothes. I know women who have get their own designers to design their Hijabs and youcan not imagine their prices. if you do your duty  as Muslim be paying for poor people , it will be sin if you do not enjoy yourself

Interesting post.. even more interesting comments :)
(esp Hamede "If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him is he still wrong". LMAO...and I would have to say yes :D)
While I am a firm believer that brains trump beauty ANY DAY, I have (sadly!) met way too many females who don't share this belief to say that Qwaider's description is a minority. Unf, such women are probably the majority (um Paris Hilton anyone?).
Its disgusting, its demeaning to our gender and its just plain infuriating at times. Beauty will fade but brains will keep you going.

I personally have never followed any fads, "mooda" or fashion crap. I have my own unique style and buy things because I think they look good (and yes, I do think its insane to spend 350 for a freakin handbag or a pair of shoes... how many hungry people could I feed? or even being selfish, how many nice handbags/shoes without some idiots name on them can I buy with that money?). But women do follow this crap... and sorry to burst your bubble but most of the time, its not for men. Its for other women. A guy isnt going to know how much that handbag cost but (almost!) every single girl in the room is and shes going to be green with envy. Same goes for everything else... and the fact that they get more men is only a sucess if she got more than her girlfriends. This is a sick way of life but I have seen it firsthand and its more common than I would like to admit. Its a competition as to who is the best dressed, best accessorized (and the guy on her arm is considered that!), best house, best cook, best etc.

Sad but true... the only thing we can do is educate the next generation to forget all this superficial crap and focus on competing with each other for their brains and achievements OTHER than getting the guy your girlfriends will all salivate over.

Only $350? My wife just dropped 2K on a freaken handbag for the 3ied!

Tinkerbella...

"But women do follow this crap... and sorry to burst your bubble but most of the time, its not for men. Its for other women." wow I think you probably had the smartest reply out of everyone's, ya daktora inti shoo btifhami inti! but even with that said, I'm not admitting to anything nor am I claming anything! loooooool.  however, tinker, qwaiders post was about doing those things for the purpose of getting guys or mainting relations and not for other reasons so that's why I said he's referring to a minority.

I do know why I make the choices I make or why I get the pleasures that I do but like I said before, I don't feel the need to justify it to anyone of you nor do I think I should lay it out all out for people to analyze my mind and judge me about.

Wow asoom, you get vicious when you reply don't you! ok, so i am like the queen of sarcasm and I dont like it when its directed at me :D

My reply wasn't directed at you, it was about girls who think about nothing EXCEPT what designer they're wearing, what palette of colors they need to slap on their face tonight and what shoes will make the other girls die with envy..
From your blog, I have deduced that you do in fact have a brain and think about things OTHER than this stuff and kudos to you.
Girls who do that are fine in my book as long as the rest of their lives life doesn't take a backseat to their appearance. But as I was saying, too many girls DONT think liek that and their one and only priority is this crap and thats whats wrong with the world today.

But thats just my opinion, and just as you are entitled to your own opinion, as am I.

There may be women out there who are soley interested in landing a husband but the majority of airheads I have met are looking to top other women as the first priority, with men being the second. If you don't believe me, the next time an attractive woman walks into a room, dont look at her but look at the expression on the other girls faces in the room. Long after the men look away, the women will still be glaring at her.

tinker, 7abibti, I wasn' tbeing sarcastic to you wallah!!!!  When I said 'yea daktorra inti shoo shatra" or whtever it was that I said I actually meant that!!  NOT being sarcastic, it was meant to be endearing! I seriously did think your reply was the smartest thing anyone said!

"There may be women out there who are soley interested in landing a husband but the majority of airheads I have met are looking to top other women as the first priority, with men being the second."  SOOO TRUEE!!!!

Actually and for many women men might actually be the third or the 4th and if he didn't mean a certain set of pre-determined standards on the surface then he was actually NO priority to impress!

" We are more than a just pretty face you know :) Or in chick-lingo "A bank account"  Oh please...........you give yourselves too much credit wallah

hmmm I just replied and it didn't post, either I clicked refresh too soon or you're now moderating comments, I'll just repost in case.....

"There may be women out there who are soley interested in landing a husband but the majority of airheads I have met are looking to top other women as the first priority, with men being the second."  SOOO TRUEEE!! and actually for a lot of women men might be third or 4th and if the men didn't pet a set of pre-determined standards on the surface than they're no priority!!!


"We are more than a just pretty face you know :) Or in chick-lingo "A bank account""  That's a pretty cluless thing to say............get overyourselves wallah

Just because I wear the hejab it doesn't mean that my whole life is dedicated to my religion.  I'm very religious el7amdulillah but that doesn't stop me from enjoying life and myself. Allah never said that you have to worship Him 24/7. Say3ah 2ilak o say3ah la rabbak. As long as you give your religious duties time equivilent to that which you spend on other things.

If God has blessed you with money, you are supposed to enjoy it and show what Allah has given you.(ina Allah yo7ib an yara athara ni3matihi 3ala 3abdih). Of course this is after you pay your religious duties such as zakah and sadaqah (paying alms and charity). Don't take this the wrong way, you should spend rationally and not be min al-mobathireen (spendthrift)
Also, I never said that I waste money on designer bags and clothes. I'm not the materialistic type. I buy things because I like them, not because of the name written on the label. And if i see something I like and it's very expensive I simply don't buy it. I admit that i occassional buy expensive things that will last, like a good bag or a very nice pair of shoes, BUT only if the price is reasonable. I would never buy a bag for $350, that's insane! And I wouldn't want to be min al-mobathireen.