Truth about marriage

By: Deemco

On:Sunday, September 23, 2007 10:52:23 PM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (5936) times

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Married women always tell me to enjoy being engaged as much as I can because it's the best time of your life, even after you get married, I wonder why. Is it because guys treat a girl better during the engagement period since she's not 100% "his" yet? Does he only go as far as he can to impress her and make her happy when they're engaged and then when they're married he doesn't put the same effort anymore?

I've heard stories of how guys used to treat their fiance during the engagement period by spoiling them with gifts and sweetness and many romantic acts. Only to have it all came to an end after they got married.

Some people tell me that as the years pass by, the couple tend to drift apart, or the love fades. They say it changes over time. But I don't understand why. Is it because they get used to each other and no longer express their feelings towards one another? Do they take each other for granted? Does the love fade? It saddens me to think how it's possible for two people who were in love to fall out of love or to grow apart with time. Some people don't fall out of love with their partner, but they no longer show or express their feelings to their loved one which, in my opinion, is just as bad.

I personally think that the love between two people can only continue to grow after years of marriage. They grow together, they build their lives together, build a family, explore and experience new areas of life together. Learn to lean on each other and support one another. Your spouse should complete you, be your other half. His/her absence should make you feel incomplete.

I'm looking forward to marriage. I think it's beautiful. I know it's no fairy tale where we'll live happily ever after. I'm aware of the numerous responsibilities that come with marriage, and I know there will be some things we'll disagree upon, but marriage is about sacrifice and compromise. Things you do for the one you love. We'll have our ups and downs and some occasional arguments but that's what it's all about. Learning about each other, and adapting to a new life together. It can't be perfect, but it can come close if you choose the right partner and understand what it takes to be happily married. I'm looking forward to sharing my life with the one I love and I'm gonna stay optimistic and expect the best.

Any married people who'd like to share with me the truths of marriage? Is there anything I need to know?

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Memories....

#1
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/23/2007 10:54:15 PM

Deemco,
Remember this always: "Your mileage may vary" so whatever happened to X or Y will not necessarily happen to you! Make your own experience

I LOVE the two highlighted words, I think those sum up the whole article. Those are the ultimate truth about Marriage

#2
hamede
Said
On: 9/24/2007 12:45:27 AM

To me it is still the same.

#3
asoom
Said
On: 9/24/2007 3:46:42 AM

have you ever checked nido and jeedo's blog: http://jeedos.blogspot.com/
They're a youngmarried couple that blog about marriage stuff, I think. I've also heard that engagement is supposed to be the best time but I guess that's because you have a lack of responsibility; you're right, it shouldn't be that way but I don't have experience in that field so I can't give you advice LOL Goodluck!

#4
afaf
Said
On: 9/24/2007 6:14:45 AM

yeah, it takes alot of adjustments...big time and patience too...both parties....not just one...
as for romance, i guess i can talk about my personal experience, we arabs, simply donot show emotions, or we r sp shy to show love, or even accept our men to show love to us, so we keep saynig..."3aib...and so and so..."...
and yeah our culture taught us that women should always give, give, give...(sacrifice)...and not to expect any in return from their men... so the men simply lose interest in giving and women would be so shy to take....a simple example of that, when my husband asks me if i would like to have some tea, i say, ok i will make some now...he goes...i am asking cuz I wanna make u some, not that i want u to make some...he keeps telling me "learn to take for a change"....he is right!!!

#5
sam
Said
On: 9/24/2007 6:33:16 AM

yeh of course when you are engaged it is different...the love does not fade, it does not go away...but the newness of it fades...it is just like with everything else..when u get something new u are very exited about it....you treat it different..but then as the years go by u are so used to it you do not need to put in the effort to show your love..just like when u buy new shoes...u try them on everyday...u see how they look with pants, skirt, jeans...and u admire them constantly....ok i'll stop here i know im weird...love does not fade with marriage...it grows with the experiences the couple share...the first pregnancy, buying a house, the vacations they spend together, the baby woes...all those things share only make love grow and become more cherished...but life gets in the way...work, kids, family obligations, finacial problems, and other things making people forget to show their feelings towards each other...this is why im a stong beleiver that we need birthdays , valentines day and other special occasions to stop and remember to show our loved ones what they mean to us... engaged couples do not worry or think about anything exept each other...screw work,screw everything...but this can not last for long...so of course it is different...but if there was love in the first place it would never die, or fade..

#6
Deemco
Said
On: 9/24/2007 1:36:45 PM

Qwaider: I agree. And it's very important to know that before u get married. If you don't understand that you have to compromise then you'll face many difficulties in the marriage which may lead to unnecessary arguements.

asoom: ya I've been to that site before, but I don't think I've ever read anything about marriage.

afaf: Luckily, my fiance and I don't have this mentality of 3aib to express our love. I think it's very important to constantly express our feelings to the ones we love (not just to our spouse). Love is about giving and taking. You can't give all the time and you can't just take. Both partners must give and take. I think it's sweet that your husband is teaching you to take :)

sam: Thanks for the insight. I totally understand what you mean by the "newness that fades" and can relate to the new shoes thing (cuz i do that too). I guess it's true. I just hope the love stays alive and only grows with time. I'll keep in mind the yearly celebrations in case it ever needs "reviving" lol

#7
Tamer
Said
On: 9/24/2007 2:17:04 PM

I think u will make one good husband in the future.

#8
vagueraz
Said
On: 9/24/2007 2:42:39 PM

well, ur points about marriage are right :)
and I think that treatment befor marriage (In engagment time)
should be same after marraige with extra responsability
but love should stay the same

#9
Deemco
Said
On: 9/25/2007 2:55:38 PM

Tamer, if you were refering to me, I'm a GIRL!!

#10
Tamer
Said
On: 9/25/2007 4:57:36 PM

hii, i'm sorry, i just thought u were a guy.. REALLY SORRY.
but u got the point..

#11
Deemco
Said
On: 9/25/2007 10:09:18 PM

It's ok Tamer, no harm done :)

#12
hamede
Said
On: 9/27/2007 4:33:19 AM

Deemco i comment in your post,s you never say thank you or any thing un considerate.

#13
hamede
Said
On: 9/27/2007 4:06:12 PM

Deemco some one i know did that from my own lap top,he deleted my blog roll did bad comments on nas blog,i dont know what other things he did,i am sorry.