Gag order!

By: Qwaider

On:Sunday, September 23, 2007 9:42:40 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (5186) times

Currently 4.6/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.6/5 stars (171 votes cast)

I'm getting sick of everyone snooping around trying to figure out who I meant with this, and who is in that! And quite frankly, some of the funniest things that happen to me in my life are not showing up here because of that! I WANT TO GET IT OUT! But I know how people will react, they will get offended, and they will feel that I'm bashing thing publicly and all that good stuff!

A year ago, I wouldn't have given it a moment's thought. But now.... hmmm! I'm getting gagged in both meanings!

Alright, so here's a cool thing! A couple of day ago, while I was invited to Iftar somewhere. The whole food sucked! YEP Everything, done by a number of ladies sucked! You know why? Because 90% of all the women who cook actually don't have passion for cooking! (Aka Nafas)

I'm completely not bragging when I say I cook better than 90% of all the newly married women that I know (who have been married less than 7 years). I love food, I love eating, and in my worst days, I've done better than most newly married women I know. Even my omelet is better than their main dishes!

What makes me roll on the floor laughing, in tears, completely breathless, with cramps and convulsions of laughter is when someone comes bragging about the food and the very first impression you see on a person's face after ONE BITE is the same expression you see on the face of someone who had just had a pole shoved up their behind

It occurs to me that most married women feel that they're forced to cook! When it's not really like that. But I guess the guys don't help that much. Which makes the whole practice feel so boring, just like homework, I mean, who likes homework?

And whoever tells me women can cook better. Really knows nothing about cooking!

Of course, this doesn't include women who have been married for a long time. Those on the average can cook better!

So single girls, join your mom in the kitchen and learn a thing or two! You should be ashamed of yourself that even Qwaider is a better cook than you. As for married women, get passionate about cooking! That's all it takes!

And my friends! Don't get mad :)

I guess I can kiss Iftar invitations goodbye!

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« Empty lives!

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Memories....

#1
Maioush
Said
On: 9/23/2007 10:39:21 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHA :D Qwaider you cracked me up
"So single girls, join your mom in the kitchen and learn a thing or two! You should be ashamed of yourself that even Qwaider is a better cook than you" LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL man you are too much... :)
ya 3am 5aleek a better cook :D 7alal 3aleak, ba3dean maho most of the very famous chefs are men!! so why bother, nafaskom atyab bel akel ;)

#2
asoom
Said
On: 9/23/2007 11:41:57 AM

My mom can't cook, tabeekha min marra. She knows that about herself and she doesn't care to put an effort into improving her cooking, she thinks we should eat whatever she makes. In my house we eat lots of frozen and canned. For me personally I like other people's foods when we get invited because everyone is a better cook than my mom.

"So single girls, join your mom in the kitchen and learn a thing or two!" Hello No and NEVER! I really don't like cooking and I just can't stand kitchen messes and pots and pans and oils and the smells-not to mention the time required! I'd rather eat raw fruits and vegetables; HOWEVER, when I do cook, I'm actually a pretty decent cook, my food is definately way better than all my other single friends. I think I just feel the need to compensate for my mom being a bad cook so I get creative and experimental in the kitchen, but that's like once a month!

#3
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 9/23/2007 2:27:07 PM

Re gag orders: have you ever been asked to remove a post because someone worried for your safety ?

Re. Cooking: I'm with Asma on this. It takes too long, and the mess isn't worth it. When I was living alone in college, the options were sandwiches, take-out, or TV-dinner.

#4
afaf
Said
On: 9/23/2007 3:15:36 PM

yeah, passion for cooking....that is what my husband does...loves cooking and loves what he is doing...and yeah he is way professional chef, but on his days off, he loves my cooking...i cook with passion too...but u know why...mom used to take me to kitchen with her, ofcourse after i got my degree...and she kept telling me "u have to have nafas when u cook....so that it will be good"...i guess she was right...
yeah no more iftar invitation for u, dude...

#5
Deemco
Said
On: 9/23/2007 3:27:24 PM

I've been joining my mom in the kitchen recently in hopes of learning to cook and I honestly enjoy it. I find it fun and i'm looking forward to learning all I can. I even look up recipes on the internet but that's just for desserts.
My mom says I have potential :) I even made wara2 dawali (grape leaves) last week. I was very proud of myself hehe Inshallah I'll be a good cook by the time I'm married. Maybe you can give me some tips Qwaider since u're so good at cooking!

#6
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 9/23/2007 3:43:00 PM

Deemco, Wara2 Dawali rocks. We had a large number of American guests over for lunch once, and they asked my dad how long it took to wrap all the wara2. My dad joked that we had a special "wrapping machine", and they believed it ! The truth was 5 women were involved.

#7
Deemco
Said
On: 9/23/2007 4:24:33 PM

Hani: it took me like 2 hours to wrap them! It's so tiring!!

#8
Nizar
Said
On: 9/23/2007 5:37:03 PM

To all the newly married and single girls that think that they can cook:
'القرد بعين أمه غزال'

Just kidding :P

I'm happy I don't do cooking and probably won't do it a lot in th future :P

#9
أنونيموس
Said
On: 9/23/2007 8:14:28 PM

Haha! My friend and I [both in college] went to an iftar potluck last weekend, and it boasted over 30 different dishes, yet even though we piled up our plates, we ended up throwing it out because it was all either poorly done or extremely bland! Everything, even down to the last salad! All the dishes were cooked by older women married for quite some time but who obviously had no passion for it whatsoever. There really should be middle ground in that eating to live- living to eat saying.
Given that I can't have dinner before attending these functions, that was the first and last potluck i'm attending this Ramadan!

#10
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/23/2007 9:25:58 PM

Maioush,
I'm glad you've enjoyed it :)

Asoom,
Some moms can't cook, and sometimes they give up. But I believe we should all put up the effort and attempt to learn.

Hani Obaid
Yes, and I didn't. A friend of mine was facing some marital issues and I posted something about it. He didn't like it. Although, I think it eventually helped him out.

Cooking does take too long, but it's ABSOLUTELY worth it! No kidding!

Afaf
Nafas (loosely passion) is the reason two people start with the same ingredients, follow the same steps, and one end up with a master piece, while the other ends up with crap!

Deemco
Well done my friend. That's what it really needs. Passion, and some hard work

Hani Obaid #2:
There actually is a wrapping machine :) It's in the Syrian market and does a pretty decent job :) But doesn't save much time really

Deemco#2:
Ya3teeki el 3afyeh

Nizar:
Yep :)
Trust me we should all learn. It's really fun!

انونيموس
That's what's been happening to me and let me tell you, it's getting really tiring recently. But I still go for the ramadani atmosphere :)

#11
afaf
Said
On: 9/24/2007 5:54:44 AM

well, after wrapping wara2 3enab for a while, u will get used to it and be quick at it too...just need to practise more...adn yeah the machine, i simply cannot trust it...

#12
Arab Lady
Said
On: 9/24/2007 6:43:58 PM

personally i dunno who 2 clean my room or fold my cloths ..not even interested to learn at all..
not all women need to do so! being women doesnt mean its our job to do so

ramadan kareeem anyway

#13
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/24/2007 8:33:29 PM

Alright, so you mean to say that women are not necessarily naturally care givers and therefore should have the same responsibilities and obligations as men.

Fair enough, I like that, so the argument that a child is best entrusted in the custody of his mother is really crap, and should really be abolished. Since the mother is really not obligated to be a caregiver and all!

#15
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/26/2007 7:39:57 AM

LOL Batty,
That was a different iftar, yours was perfect.. :D
LOL!

#16
mona
Said
On: 9/26/2007 9:52:49 PM

Just a quick thought: if you're fasting you can't taste the food, so may be that's why it's a bit bland. Some people (men & women) are quite good at cooking without tasting at all. they just 'know' how many tspoons of salt to add & how long it needs to cook. Others, like yours truly, just can't do it that way!! My solution is to make the stock (maraka) the night before so at least I know the base is good :)

#17
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/26/2007 9:57:54 PM

You know Mona, I fell in that trap the other day. A set of friends invited me over to Iftar, and I was making the lentil soup. Guess what, it came out SO HOT, apparently I've added my "final" touch which was a tiny bit of red pepper (to give it a little kick) Turns out, that was TOO MUCH! :(
But the bold (and the beautiful) ate it and loved it so much! :) But the rest (Wussies) didn't