Empty lives!

By: Qwaider

On:Saturday, September 22, 2007 3:33:17 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (6643) times

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Rated 4.5/5 stars (137 votes cast)

What is up with people these days? I'm specifically talking about those so called "happily married" people. Who appear to have so much time on their hands to burn the midnight oil reading, writing and commenting on their old friends-from-the-other-gender on facebook.

If anything they appear to be sniping for a flattering comment here, or a compliment there. And who doesn't like compliments? Especially when s/he hasn't heard something like that from their significant other in ages!

So, I've been keeping an eye on my married friends, and noticed how most are spending a lot of time online. Either chatting or socially interacting on face book and similar media

I'm not talking about people who manage to churn couple of blog entries a day. Because, well, most of their stuff is open and in the clear for everyone (including their significant other) to see. But thinking of all the private messages, personal chats, and private email to accounts the significant other doesn't know anything about.

If someone claims that I am doing similar stuff, (although I'm not, I hate facebook) I can always use the "I'm single" argument, and I can do whatever I want. But if I ware married, I wouldn't have time to do such things. In fact, I would have a hard time explaining to my future significant other why am I up late punching away on my computer when I'm supposed to be enjoying the warmth of my love filled bed.

It appears as if so many people have empty lives to the point that fishing for compliments have become their favorite pastime. Keeping different attitudes towards people. One towards their real life wife and home. And one for their online friends, ex-friends, and old friends. Especially those from the other gender

I'm sure many have innocent discussions with their old friends, reminiscing over the old days and how awesome it was back at school. And some might do this behind their spouses because many don't really understand. But I'm not talking about these harmless chats. Although, in my humble opinion they need to be maintained to a minimum. Out of respect of the current spouse at least, and not to allow doubt or misconceptions any wedge to the already stable life.

Although it would appear that some people have empty lives, the fact is, it's far from it. But many find the time to get online and get the old feeling of excitement back in their lives.

Dedicated to all my married friends that no longer appear online after dark!

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Memories....

#1
hamede
Said
On: 9/22/2007 5:43:41 AM

Why married people do that? and by the way what the hell is face book.

#2
asoom
Said
On: 9/22/2007 5:47:39 AM

qwaider this begs this question: are you being stalked by an old female married acquaintance?

I totally agree that once you're married out of respect you should keep interactions with old friends of the opposite gender to a minimum especially when it's not 'out in the open' like online; however, I haven't observed the trend that you're talking about. The way I see it's actually the opposite, when someone gets married they stop getting online and returning facebook messages and replying to emails or getting on aim/msn (which I get on like once a year but still I don't see my married friends on there).

I can't think of any of my married friends that have increased their online interaction with members of the opposite sex after marriage, but then again I don't have too many married friends and also the community that I love is pretty conservative so such behavior could get you into some trouble!

#3
tinkerbella
Said
On: 9/22/2007 6:51:12 AM

You know, even if its online, its still cheating if you're interacting with old friends and the significant other doesn't know. Its called an "emotional affair", especially when you discuss personal things.
It really is sad..
If your significant other knows the extent of the relationship, then that makes it a little better, but not much because there's still the risk of getting too involved in these online flings even if they appear harmless.
And as for reading blogs and commenting late at night.. some married people work late into the night and use blogs as a way of "taking a break" or even "turning off the brain" after they're done working so as to be able to go to sleep easier...so not all of 'em are neglecting spouses!! (yes I am talking about myself LOL).
And yes, I know I am commenting on your blog at almost 1am but my hubby is right beside me working away on his computer as he catches up on work so no I'm not a hypocrite :P
Ok, off to enjoy the warmth of our love-filled bed LOOOOOL (okay, I know you meant that as something sweet but it sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOO corny to me hehe. im too cynical, I know).

#4
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 9/22/2007 4:29:40 PM

I think that provided there is sufficient trust betweent he couple, the spouse can time-permitting maintain friendships with people of the opposite sex to a certain level.

Flirting offline or online is of course out of the question. What you called "fishing for compliments on facebook" sounds like an act of despiration. It is sad that someone would feel so trapped, that they would seek such minimal gratification.

#5
afaf
Said
On: 9/22/2007 7:34:21 PM

u know, though i am using face book, i dnot seem to get the good grib of it...i feel it is full of bugs, or i lost my magic there...so confusing...i heard alot of stories happening there...but never seen one in person, but i agree, even online it is considered cheating... and if u cannot tell u husband/wife about it then it is not pure or platonique....
so...why r we discussing politics here???

#6
Tamer
Said
On: 9/22/2007 10:14:12 PM

u have a good point there,, totally agree with u.

#7
أنونيموس
Said
On: 9/23/2007 2:19:29 AM

Shiklak betdaye3 wa2t kteer 3al facebook. Bikafi titjasas 3al tal3a wil nazleh sho katabo. Ama nas "fadyeh" ;-)

#8
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/23/2007 3:27:46 AM

Believe me when I tell you, I hardly go there. I hate these social networks since day one. Facebook is just a new comer!

#9
Nizar
Said
On: 9/23/2007 5:05:58 PM

I hated facebook when it started, I thought that it was just like Hi5, were low quality people just try to find dates and all they do is comment on others pics were the pics are usually of their bodies and bla bla...

But to be honest facebook is a lot different, the people on it are not the same at least they are not looking for the same thing, plus there is a lot more to do.

#10
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/23/2007 10:55:55 PM

Nizar,
The people on Facebook are THE SAME people on Hi5, Myspace and just about every other social networking thingie!
They just evolve thier tactics with time!

Sooner or later, we'll start getting spam on facebook too

#11
Verbal Alchemy
Said
On: 9/24/2007 10:16:44 AM

facebook blech! i hate that thing.. and sometimes i wonder too Q, unless there is something making these ppl unhappy or unsatisfied with their marriage they wont go looking.. or maybe it means they got married too soon or unconvinced and they finally found their long lost other half.. or maybe ma byemla 3ein il rijal gheir il ramel.. i donno :S

#12
Mark
Said
On: 10/9/2009 9:40:57 PM
SpamScore=[1]

The thing is, Facebook is a great way of keeping in contact with friends in your life. Emphasis on "your life" not "your marriage." If you think your marriage is your life, I'm sorry, but you would be mistaken, due to the fact that both are two different concepts. Marriage may be a component of your life, one that you would even die for, but you weren't born married and there is rationally no complete guarantee that you'll die, or even spend the end of your life married.

Social networking sites are here to stay, deal with it. There is nothing wrong with keeping in contact with your friends, commenting on photos, and even harmless flirting. If you believe there is, you are more insecure than you think. You might want to consider that people who use Facebook at any hour may actually be completely content with their lives AND marriages (as are their spouses), and don't feel the need to belittle or pick out flaws in others to validate their own marriages and egos.