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« Those don't count!Trusting bloggers! »

Changing preconceptions

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Wednesday, September 19, 2007 8:29:47 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (5115) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (66 votes cast)

    One of the most difficult things to do is to change people's minds about a product or a person. Once that person has received a specific negative trait, it becomes associated with them for life, and sometime beyond.

    This is one of the unfair ways we deal with each other. No matter how much people change, or alter their ways, the preconception remains.

    Take for example the ideas we take about people. For example someone who is sleazy, will continue to have such a reputation. No matter how much he tries to clear up his act. If someone is not funny, the same applies to them

    I really wonder, why don't we as humans reevaluate people for what they have become, not what they were when we first judged them!

    I said judge, in the previous phrase for a reason. It's because no matter what we do, we end up judging people based on what we see. It might be 10% of their personality, but we still pass judgement. (No matter how much we say/think/hope that we don't)

    These preconceptions just never leave us. They stick around, harming us and our future lives as they are passed from one person to another.

    I seriously can't find an easy way to change these preconceptions that we have. A strong jolt of reality sometimes help. Let me share this example from my personal experience.

    There used to be this girl back during my university days. She used to dress provocatively, used heavy makeup. The word out was that she's one of those really bad girls who jump from guy to guy. I frankly fell for the reputation. That was how I thought of that lady. All until one day we were face to face on an issue, and she turned out to be more respectable and honorable than the people who were talking about her, cowardly behind her back.

    That was the day when I apologize to her retroactively. I decided that I will not listen what people say from that point onward. I realized that people lie, or make mistakes. Everyone does. But once that mistake, or lie passes the first round, it becomes sort of a fact.

    I decided to base my judgement based on what I see from the person. And if I didn't know them, I couldn't pass judgement! Simple!

    But back to preconceptions, think of people you know, have you branded someone with a negative thought unfairly? Shouldn't we all reconsider?

    Other Memories Documented on September 19
    « Those don't count!Trusting bloggers! »

    Memories....

    Yeah, once someone has been branded as Zinikh! That can never be washed out!

    Did you miss me:)?

    Ramadan Kareem
    Let us assume for the sake of discussion that what you purported is true, the question is: Who cares? As long as the person whoever that might be doesn't sign your pay check, doesn't pay your mortgage, doesn't approve your promotion let them think of you whatever they want to think. Unless they happen to be one of the foregoing people from the list they aren't going to advance or hinder your cause in any way shape or form. While we can't work on other people's behavior and ways of thinking, we can work and control our own, we can calibrate our selves to be resilient, flexible, and adaptable.
    Thanks Hatem
    I'm not really worried about other people's preconceptions of my self. But contemplating how I have made these in the past. And how other people do all the time
    Imagine if this was a manager at work or something like that. It would be more damaging at that time
    People change.. and gossip hurts. So yea, preconceptions based on gossip is wrong, and even based on what you see with your own eyes is wrong.
    Plus, how do you know whats going on in their hearts?
    That's why we shouldn't judge, and leave that up to the Ultimate Judge.
    you know its bad enough when people judge by what thy see, let alone what they hear ! I noticed that we don't go back to reevaluate the people we have branded. unless something happens to contradict the perception we have.
    I do it.. But you know what, when I do that, I try haaaaaaaaaaardly not to act upon what I've pictured in mind.. That I promise God.. Never act accordingly..

    But on the other hand.. Lately, I've been switching the image around to try avoiding these quick judgments..

    Like for example, I have this far relative who kinda dresses weird & she's loud & stuff.. When I was younger, I always believed that we're faaaaaaaaaaar better than her & we're waaaaaaaaay more educated bla bla bla :( .. Anyways, this summer, when I went to Cairo, I met her a couple of times & spent more time with her.. I found out that subhanAllah, this woman to Allah might be muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch dearer than me!! Her heart.. OMG!! She has an incredibly tender heart & so God fearing to a limit I can't describe.. Ahsabha 'allah Allah khair..

    Then I was like, ya Allah, if anyone sees a woman like her anywhere else, they'd go like, "mhmmm, vulgar".. Not knowing that they met one of the very sweet hearted mother one could ever meet!!

    So, I promise, to never ever ever judge people from a first impression ever again.. Nor from what people say..

    With respect,

    PS. i still look at people's shoes (footwear) as soon as I meet them, is it that bad? But I promise I won't judge from that.. Or at least act in response to that..
    funny, i was talking to a dear friend the other day bout this.. first impressions are only the first on earth, il 5ulasa 7adeeth lal nabi bima ma3naah inno il arwa7 btetla2a bil barza5 abel ma tetla2a bil 7ayat il dunya, w there attaction or repulsion happens, thats why fi nas awal ma tshufun btenfor w fi nas 3a6oul bta5od 3aleihum.

    i say ppl shud be neutral even if they felt attracted instantly! take it as it comes.. this way u avoid disappointment and u also wudnt pass on wrong judgements that might stop u from seeing the good in someone u felt negative bout in the first place..
    It's really hard to change first impressions, they tend to last. But i do believe that people can change to the better, I've seen it. And I try not to be bias or judge people based on looks or make a general impression about someone based on one thing or action.

    Sara Hamdy, I also have this thing for looking at people's shoes when I meet them. I can't get over it!
    • #9
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/21/2007 10:24:17 AM
    Deemco, ooooooooohhhhhh my God :)
    So somebody actually knows what I'm talking about?!
    I can't even describe it.. Thing is, why don't people go for comfort & simplicity?! Do you ever wonder upon that?
    Remembering negative incidents over positive, and judging people on them doesn't only apply to  hearsay but to direct interaction as well.

    Many people forget/supress their own negative actions, but dwell on other people's. Its their own way of thinking they're always right, and everyone else is wrong.
    Sara: Yes I do. I just can't tolerate ugly shoes, there's a specific kind in my mind that some guys wear. Yugh! I hate them!
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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