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« On infidelityChanging preconceptions »

Those don't count!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Tuesday, September 18, 2007 11:09:15 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4080) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (60 votes cast)

    I was recently invited to Iftar where the nice old mother of the lady who invited us started bragging about her son. And how amazing he was. She was talking and explaining how he got his Citizenship, and how she's trying to find him a wife from back home who is fresh out of school. And how he is suited to marry the best out there. Of course, it's only natural that the mother would polish her son up. Brushing away minor things like he had an American wife, and that he shared bedroom with many others. Of course, in her rational, you know, these don't count.

    Many people have decided that the easy way to win heaven (Aka America) is to marry an American. Which is fine, as long as the intentions are pure, or clear. For example, if someone is marrying an American for love, companionship, starting a family or anything else. Then that's fine. If someone agrees to marry someone on specific pretenses that's also fine.

    What's not OK, is deceiving someone to get the Greencard or citizenship from them. That part is really not appropriate. But even then, people change, and what might start as an opportunistic endeavor, might evolve to good companion ship and become the seed of a great family. And I've seen that happen.

    I fail to understand how the society have drawn such a distinction between two guys, one married to an American, and another married to an Arab. Once the marriage is over, the whole process of marrying an foreigner doesn't count. Or having an affair, or multiple combinations of the above, as long as the ladies are foreign.

    For some reason, many people seem to differentiate women based on citizenship! An Arab is counted while scores of affairs with western women are not. It makes me wonder!

    The new trend is starting to take place among Arab women in the west, where having a western boyfriend is not counted and equated to "Child play" and "Amusement". It's even encouraged as a pastime while the woman awaits her glorious Arab oblivious future husband!

    Couple of days ago, Fellow blogger Batir, wanted to declare moral marshal-laws in Jordan. I add my voice to his, but it appears that we need to implement it at a much grander scale!

     

    Other Memories Documented on September 18
    « On infidelityChanging preconceptions »

    Memories....

    • #1
    • Moey
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/18/2007 11:45:57 PM
    wow thats like, wow! btw, check http://moeys.net/2007/09/18/hahaha-pulp-replies-to-a-comment/ this is the level of journalism in jordan.
    Thanks for the Wow Moey, you didn't even read the article :)
    But THANKS! :) I'll check it out, you know what? Even better, I'll make it a link for you. How about that?
    walahi ya Q I was thinking about the same thing the other day, I don't know how people see it, but it happened so many times in the family, when a guy was married to a an American lady, it's ok.. It’s like he's never been married or as my teata keeps saying "hadi mesh jeezeh"! And it's acceptable everywhere, but a cousin of hers was married an Arab lady and the marriage ended, they were questioning him like he committed a crime or something…
    or even worse, as you mentioned, I discovered that girls here in the states actually go out with American guys “just for fun” cuz they don’t count, and when it becomes serious it will not be any of those guys around, it will an Arab guy, and those guys are considered nothing but “teslai”…
    elli be3eesh yama beshoof!!!
    sick sick SICK!!!!
    • #5
    • asma
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2007 4:17:02 AM
    "The new trend is starting to take place among Arab women in the west, where having a western boyfriend is not counted and equated to "Child play" and "Amusement". It's even encouraged as a pastime while the woman awaits her glorious Arab oblivious future husband!"

    I was going to comment that it's only like that for the guy before I read that paragraph, that observation might be the case where you are but in my community that's not acceptable for the girl like it is for the guy, there are girls that have had nonmuslim boyfriends and even married nonmuslims but they've been pretty much ostracized.

    You're right though, it's so excusable for the guy and moms praise their boys because the only see his achievements, it's like ok lady everyone has achievements your son does drugs and makes out in public with his girlfriend so shutup
    ها شيف لعاد يا شوزين(كوزين-ابن عمي), الشرت الاخظر مهم كثير..
    بتعرف انا شو بقهرني؟ بتلاقي الواحد فيهم ما بعبي ظرايب و اذا عبى بطلع بدو مصاري من الحكومة لانو عبى انو عائل لنص البلد,و بعدين بشتغل على اللينك و الببليك ايد, وبعالج كل عيلتو على حساب المعونات..بس اخر النهار بقعد معاك و بقلك يلعن ابوها اميركا...اي بلاش اسب الدنيا رمظان..طبعا بكون جاي على فيزا سياحة..

    على فكرة صارلي اسبوع مش مدخن..بس عندي كروزين جداد مربورو احمر من تاع البلاد, حرام يروحو هدر..
    يلا سلام يا شزن..
    • #7
    • moey
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2007 7:50:05 AM
    I read the article Qwaider, this marriage thingy has been happening for decades now
    Qwaider, I think a distinction is on order about the term "tislayeh". There's a big difference between saying Arab girl X went out with many western guys, and Arab girl X slept with many guys.

    Does this make a difference to you, or are both equally unacceptable ?
    Both are equally unacceptable. What's forbidden for the ladies, should also be forbidden for the males
    So true and happening more than we like to admitt..But there is some new twists to these reunions for green card..A friend of mine married an american for this very same reason with his family blessings.. this girl stood by him for thick and thin, helped him go to school even paid some of his loans,and  created a stable home for him.. Now and while his family back home is pressuring him to move on and look for an arab girl, he feels guilty doing so..This girl was nothing but good to him..These matters are no tislayeh, playing with people emotions is not right..
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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