The trip out!

By: Qwaider

On:Monday, September 10, 2007 3:08:50 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (4218) times

Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.5/5 stars (111 votes cast)

Despite all the hardships, frustrations related to "the system" and practically just about everything back home. The hardest part of a visit is the trip back to oblivion. The trip back to expatriatism. The long goodbyes, the watering eyes, the weary parents, the praying, the aching, the advices, the wishes. The culmination of all the pain combined with just about every sad thought and feeling of forced seclusion.

The grand finale is always the worst part. No matter how easy people try to make it. No matter how considerate It just doesn't get any easier.

When you leave the warmth of the family, the joy of spending days and nights along with the loved ones and know what you're heading to next. The cold emptiness of a place that you came to know for the most part of the year as home.

It's just sad when you realize that you're swapping your mother's home cooked food prepared with love cooked with all the best wishes to a TV dinner mass produced by a machine tasting exactly as it's supposed to ... bland and empty

Sometime, many times, I wonder if it's all worth it. And quite frankly I think nothing is. The days pass by, we grow older and more foreign to our lands and loved ones and with every passing day our ties are severed deeper and deeper.

We start missing out on familial engagement. You start becoming the uncle "who lives far away". The family's "kids" grow older and you start missing out on all their occasions. They grow without you in their life. They get used to not seeing you around, and not having you at all the special occasion. Until it's time for you to visit again, but so much has been lost in that time

You look at your parents as they age and grow older, every time you come back you notice more of their gray hair and deteriorating health. You wish it didn't happen, but there is no stopping it. Again, you miss out on all their occasions. You miss out on being by their side as time takes it's toll on them. You become only their son that lives far far away.

Every time you go on the trip out it gets harder and harder. Saying goodbye is never easy.

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« بخاطركم

She ran away!! »

Memories....

#1
أنونيموس
Said
On: 9/10/2007 4:02:03 AM

It does get harder every time, for everyone involved. Don't dwell on the emptiness though- go out gadget shopping if you have to :) I hope you'll come up with something to keep your thoughts otherwise occupied.
Welcome Back...

#2
Maioush
Said
On: 9/10/2007 6:21:35 AM

Hey Q.. you made me cry :( .. this is a hard post for us, I cry the most when it comes to goodbyes… I agree with you, I know how you feel, it sucks, but try to keep yourself busy at least for the next couple of weeks, until you get used to things around you again, as you said, you spend most of the year here, so this is your home, inshalla allah bejma3ak feehom 3ala 5ear.. 7amdella 3ala el salameh, and welcome back.

#4
Isam
Said
On: 9/10/2007 9:04:14 AM

Expatism sucks ... big time !!! EFFFFFF

#5
secratea
Said
On: 9/10/2007 9:30:10 AM

7amdella 3ala salamtak Q ;)

#6
mala2e6
Said
On: 9/10/2007 12:17:28 PM

انا ما بعرقف شو ظروفك و ليش انت بعيد بس صدقني كل هالمشاعر بتتغير بس تسكن بالبلد على طول
الاهل طبعا اشي تاني

حكي عن كل شي ..بس عشان اخفف عنك الم الفراق

كل الي قلته حلو بس هالحكي صح و حلو لانك بتغيب و بترجع

مرة واحد اجا من اميركا طبعا انلمت كل العيلة ليشوفوه صار يقول متلك شوية شعر بالعيلة و التقارب
قالولو يا حبيبي نحنا ما منشوف بعض الا لما انت تيجي عشان نشوفك
هلا لما الاخ هادا يرجع رح يشوف انه الصيف و السهر و التسالي اشي و الحياة اشي تاني

انت لما تعيش عمان على طول غير لما تيجي سائح و الكل برحب و بأهل و بسهل و نورت يا قويدر و رح نشتقلك
كل شي بعدين بصير روتين نورمال طبيعي
و تنضم الى الشعب الذي طعنه الملل بالصميم
و تنضم الى فرق الشباب اللي بيتاففو انه هالبلد ما بنعاش فيها و اخ بس لو اني اطلع و اشتغل برة

ان شاء الله اكون خففت حدة الفراق

:D

#7
hamede
Said
On: 9/10/2007 4:46:48 PM

So true.

#8
afaf
Said
On: 9/10/2007 6:58:17 PM

mala2e6 is right, qwaider...it wont feel the same way when u live in amman for good...believe it or not...that is why it is different when u go to visit, but if u live there it will be different...so hang in there..adn yeah what will make life easier on u here is to find ur better half...think of it...it makes sense...
el 7amdellah 3ala salameh dear...mettel ma wada3at tela2eee inshalla..

#9
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 9/10/2007 7:59:05 PM

Badna njawzak 3al 3eed, tara rum....

In the meantime, get a cat :)

#10
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/10/2007 8:32:07 PM

انونيموس
Yeah, I hear you. That's why I'm going to focus on work till the next time I go home

Maioush,
Don't cry, it's ok. It's something many of us fruits that fall far from the tree have to live with. We don't have much of a choice really.
We'll survive

Whisperer
That is true, I doubt we will achieve more or anything, but we just keep thinking that success lies elsewhere! Who knows

Isam
Absolutely!

Secratea
Allah Ysallmek :)

Mala2e6 and Afaf
I actually disagree with you. Mainly because the life that I have back home at my parents house is so vibrant that you really can't get enough of it. All my sisters live in my father's building. Which means, at night, my parents house becomes filled with loved ones from all generations. Every-single-night, there are rituals and fun stuff to do.
This year, I installed an IP camera, and hopefully I will be enjoying those evenings with them as if I was there :)

Hani
Thanks :)
I already have a dog, I'm not a cat person

#11
afaf
Said
On: 9/10/2007 9:02:58 PM

IP camera!!! waht is next...virtual visits.....

#12
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 9/10/2007 11:54:59 PM

Virtual visits would be nice ! In the last Star Wars movie, whwenever the Jedi council would meet, the members calling in from another location would attend the meeting virtually (as a hologram). The odd thing is I remember reading a review in al-ghad newspaper about this movie, and the reviewer seemed to have never watched this type of movie before as they were under the impression that that these holograms were creatures of light (ka2en Doo2y) who transform from light to solid state !

Meanwhile in real life, two of my siblings occasionally call our parents on skype, and leave the call open for hours at a time (often with webcam), to the point of watching the same tv program and discussing it ! I'm just not a phone or skype type of guy. Now in person, I would want to talk to them for hours and hours. I only call people with a specific purpose in mind :)

#13
Qwaider
Said
On: 9/11/2007 12:03:17 AM

I find their lack of faith disturbing! I'm a Jedi too, and feel offended by these sub-par translations

Anyway, will they freakin invent the teleportation devices already! I mean what do they need? Jameed oo 3inna, Rozz oo 3inna .. oo la7ameh oo 3inna.. Lawaish ma yi3miloolna Cake?!

#14
tinkerbella
Said
On: 9/12/2007 5:56:18 AM

OMG... thats so mean to post sth like that!! I really wanted to cry too :( I miss my family so much, and no, marriage doesn't make it easier... NOTHING can make up for having your parents halfway around the world :(((
7aram 3aleek Q.. fata7et ejro7i :((((