Arab kids, western world

By: Qwaider

On:Wednesday, August 01, 2007 9:14:19 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (10332) times

Currently 4.6/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.6/5 stars (135 votes cast)

Last Saturday, I went on a picnic with a bunch of the Arab community around me. It all started nice. Cool sunny weather, beautiful scenes, good food a lot of attractions .. the works. So I sat with the rest of the Arab guys and couldn't help noticing how ill behaved the little ones are. And the parents just stood paralyzed and unable to do anything as their kids threw a tantrum after the other for just about anything. The theatrics the little kids made were worthy of an Oscar. As she kept picking on one little kid hurling stones at him, beating him up with sticks .. pushing him, pulling him ... until he pushed her away and she fell on her bottom to explode screaming (when she has done way worse to him). She kept crying until everyone paid attention and asked for the boy to be punished. At that point I intervened telling the parents what had really happened. I guess she hates me now!

That was barely scratching the surface...

The kids were bullying other American kids who were playing nicely nearby. Pushed them of all the toys and rides, monopolizing them. While completely neglecting the lines (and when pointing this out to one of the mothers she replied... "kids...")

When kids see their parent's approval at their misbehavior, you can't blame them for continuing to do so. I saw an American couple spending around 30 minutes talking to their daughter so that she understand the value of standing in line and waiting your turn. Only to have all their efforts go down the drain as the Arab kids just barged threw the line into the ride. And this time the supervisors didn't even know how to react to this noisy crowd of young bullies

It's clear to me that Arab Parents are the worst kind of parents in the west. They fail to teach their kids the value of sharing, playing nice, standing in line. While they are completely helpless in stopping their kids from doing anything wrong (mostly because the only way to discipline a child to them is to beat them, and they can't do that in public)

The only parent (a single guy) who did something that I actually admired was the one who grabbed his son's arm, dragged him half way to the car telling him he's done a bad thing and because of that they can't have any more fun and they're going home. The kid threw the regular tantrum (to draw attention, and force the parent into embarrassment so he would allow him to continue) but the guy continued without breaking a step. Few meters later the kid started to apologize and vowing not to return it. And guess what, that kid was the only one doing the right thing. Even the American kids liked him and started playing with him

We really need to understand that once we leave our countries, we really have an opportunity to improve. To learn new things and experience new cultures. But most importantly, to selectively adopt the good customs of any society and integrate it in our lives. Instead of losing both our heritage and the new culture

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« Everybody's a critic!

On August.... »

Memories....

#1
miss sea lover
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:43:53 AM

please allow me to say something here, i'm not an admirer with the way arab rais children, not a beleiver in the amrican way of growing kids. i think it is depandant on the person himself regardless of his nationality. yes there r parents who know how to behave thier children, here and there, and there r parents who abuse thier children, and i guess USA is a country having so many of those cases..as i said, i'm not with, nor against what u mentioned about imrpoving, and about the need to talk and behave our children, but i'm surly against genralaizating that amrican r better in raising thier children...sorry i talked to much...

#2
Mohanned
Said
On: 8/1/2007 2:55:40 PM

Yes, Arab "kids" are unbelievable man!

#3
kinzi
Said
On: 8/1/2007 3:05:20 PM

Well done, Qwaider. It IS a problem. There seems to be a problem with limits, and sticking with them. Parenting isn't easy anywhere,but I see this problem you mentioned every time we leave the house.

#4
sam
Said
On: 8/1/2007 3:59:52 PM

yup i know what you mean...but then this is not exlusive for arab kids though...:)

#5
Emily
Said
On: 8/1/2007 8:29:18 PM

Qwaider,
I really agree with everything you said, except that I don't know if you have to beat a child to discipline. I'm not saying that I think spanking isn't sometimes the answer, but it sort of depends on the child. I was never spanked, but I was definately disciplined.
Also, as a teacher, there are some American parents whose kids fit those you described, too. Their parents take the same, "Kids will be kids" attitude that you described these parents taking. It makes me sick! Especially when I have to teach kids like that.

#6
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/1/2007 9:23:37 PM

Dude this is crazy. You can't just say that all Arab parents are irresponsible like this. My parents didn't let me do these sort of things and neither did the parents of my cousins or Arab friends. Don't you think you are stereotyping and generalizing a bit here? I work with kids all different kinds of kids and the type of behavior you have described (the naughty unruly behavior) is something that crosses religion, culture and ethnicities. Usually parents who are at a socio-economic disadvantage have unruly kids because they don't have the money or resources to learn how to properly raise their kids--but that is not a rule as obviously there are of poor parents who do an excellent job raising their kids. That being said, I've been in airports in Middle Eastern countries where kids who are not born and raised in the U.S. have acted insane so you can't blame it on "Arabs in America." People shouldn't be so comfortable making these type of generalizations about entire groups of people--even if you are a part of that group. It's like saying all black people steal.

#7
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/1/2007 9:32:36 PM

Not that my parents were normal, I mean, my parents convinced me by the age of 3 that if I didn't eat my dinner the police would come and throw the entire family in jail for child neglect.

#8
Qwaider
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:04:38 PM

You know Catholic Sunni Shia, The observation I had is as follows:
Out of thousands of kids, only 1% were making all the issues I described above
Out of the 20 or so Arab kids, around 75% were doing that.

I wish this wasn't the case. But it was!

#9
Fire-Faten
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:26:58 PM

I see this every single day. Misbehaving Arab kids, being rewarded for going around the System. What you said is so true. We need to watch our kids. Because we're representatives of our culture. Of our society. Which is coming under so much fire these days

#10
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:37:35 PM

Maybe you guys are just hanging out with the wrong Arabs...

#11
Fire-Faten
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:41:47 PM

What do you mean we hang with the wrong arabs?
One bad example leads people to take this general idea about us. But I have also seen arabs with excellent kids. Alas they're really the exception

#12
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/1/2007 11:47:57 PM

Don't you think it's a little bit ridiculous to say that well behaved Arab kids are the "exception"???

Just because you are Arab doesn't mean that this is not a racist statement to make. You are saying that all Arab children act like wild little animals. It's not true, it's a ridiculous thing to say and a ridiculous position to take in the first place. I find it offensive. ALL of the Arab children I know are incredibly well behaved. ALL of them. So if the Arab children you are running across are little tyrants maybe it's a reflection of the type of friends you make and not a reflection of what Arab children are really like.

#13
Qwaider
Said
On: 8/2/2007 1:10:01 AM

I guess we all tend to see the negative more. While all the positive goes unnoticed.
You may take joy in the fact that you're the awesome exception :)

#14
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/2/2007 2:35:39 AM

No, it's my rule to look at the positive. There are enough people in this world that focus on the negative when it comes to Arabs...

#15
mkilany
Said
On: 8/2/2007 3:33:40 AM

I agree with Catholic Sunni Shia (I never thought I'd say that in one sentence)... anyway...
I don't really think a picnic with some friends is a statistical tool to give such a judgement... common Qwaider, to say that:
"It's clear to me that Arab Parents are the worst kind of parents in the west." that's way too much... and to justify such a statement is unbelievable... especially coming from you... you had a bad experience lets, you commented on behaviour we should avoid, valid points but lets leave it at that... no need to stereo type to that extent...

#16
Mohanned
Said
On: 8/2/2007 4:01:04 AM

Actually Kilany and C.S.S what Q said is true, I live in an area where we have lots of arab americans, just take a trip to the mall or the closest grocery store and you will see the differnce.
You will hear: walaaaaaaaaaaaa, then something broken, etc...While american kids do the same but it more like 20:1..

#17
secratea
Said
On: 8/2/2007 5:29:02 AM

Mohanned, wallahi mish 3am badafi3 3an wlad el3arab houn, bas wlaad el mexican muz3ijeen ow mashkaljeyeh aktar when at the mall, hehehehe :D (no offence to any ethnicity)

#18
Qwaider
Said
On: 8/2/2007 6:19:17 AM

I agree with Secratea on this, it's not only Arab kids.
Everyone seem to have missed my point, you see, what I'm trying to say it that the only way the parents know how to deal with their kids is to beat them up. And get the little girls (5 years and under) into Hijab
I know, some kids imitate their parents. Including little girls who seem to enjoy following what their mother wears. But I remember my father being so angry at my sisters trying on things like that.
I'm sure the parents of little girls playing Mhajjabeh will frown upon her playing 3aroosa and 3arees

#19
Catholic Sunni Shia
Said
On: 8/2/2007 7:11:42 PM

My parents never hit me. They used the police as a threat. Or they would tell me that God was watching/listening to me and that I was making him cry. That usually made me stop doing whatever I was doing. Who wants to be responsible for making God cry?