Tough love..

1. If you think you're dumb, chances are, you're right! But isn't that a smart thing to figure out?
2. If you know you're dumb, don't argue to prove it!
3. If you don't know that you're dumb, then trust me, Ignorance is bliss
4. Don't interrupt your enemy while they're making a mistake - Napoleon Bonaparte
5. If you think people are talking about you behind your back. Then I assure you, they are!
6. If you think that the manager doesn't like you. He does not.
7. If you think you're lucky to have your job, chances are. You are!
8. If you think someone actually cares if you wake up tomorrow (other than your parents, your children, and maybe, your wife and siblings) then you're mistaken
9. If you think that you're too cute, then you're not
10. If people tell your mother that she's a great cook, they're just paying her a complement
11. If you think that your butt looks fat in that dress, pants, skirt then IT IS! (But guess what, guys like it like that)
12. If you think the whole world is watching your zit, trust me, they don't even know you exist!
13. A lot has been done, before you were even born
14. The train will not wait for you
15. Happy birthday, You are getting older
16. Remember that money you wasted in your teens? You'll never earn it back!
17. Married people, What the hell are you doing online at 4 am?
18. Anything you can't tell your wife, is considered cheating
19. If a lady has a headache more than twice a week. It's time to buy a new sports car
20. Sluts may be picky, but can't brag about virtue
21. If someone dumps you, there's no need to let everyone know that you failed
22. Women should stop obsessing about stopping their friends from having sex. They will not stop, you just won't know it!
23. Keep your friends away from you significant other!
24. Don't worry about the guys, worry about her eyes!
25. If you think you can keep a woman in line all the time. Then please give me some of whatever you're smoking

Enjoy :)