Anti-Tag, why marriage is overrated!
Since Kinzi is spearheading a campaign to promote marriage, I decided to play the devil's advocate in a piece I call, "Marriage is overrated"
Here you go, my 30 reasons on why marriage is really overrated!
Lets start at the top....
- I have the bed all for myself
No one is sharing my baby!
- No one hogs my blanket
- I can play XBOX at 3 AM
- I don't need permission to go out :)
- I don't need permission to stay out!
- No body asks me why I'm late!
- No body (else) spends my money!
- I don't have to leave my bed to fart (sorry for grossing you out)
- I can peek at women :)
- I can talk to random women!
- I don't need to remember birthdays, anniversaries, occasions, holidays, valentine's ... I don't have to worry about all this stuff!
- My bathroom doesn't smell like a bakery shop!
- My sheets are not pink, red or any other girly color
- My hair comb doesn't have any long tangled hair in it
- My bathroom counter space is ALL MINE ...
- There are no harmful chemicals in the house to
a) Remove hair
b) Grow hair
c) glue nails
d) Whiten skin
e) Darken skin
f) Curl hair
g) Straighten hair
h) dye hair
i) Bleach hair
j) Remove hair painfully using molten wax!
- There are no dangerous contraptions in my house that
a) Burn hair straight
b) Burn hair curly
c) Burn hair wavy
d) Peal off dead skin
f) Curl eyebrows
- There are no self inflecting pain devices in my house, this includes
a) Plucking Tweezers
b) Hair pins
- The toilet seat can remain up ... :)
- My shower doesn't have any long hair clogging it
- My closet is half full but ALL mine :)
- My house has only 5 or 6 pairs of shoes
- Given a choice to go Shopping or go fishing.. I can always decide to go fishing
- If I were the type, I wouldn't be stuck sleeping with the same boring old nagging face every night
- If I were the type, I wouldn't be the one worrying about contraceptives.. :)
- I can eat RED MEAT whenever I feel like it!
- I can go to Hooters :) [Although I don't]
- I can buy a two seater car, a convertible or even a motorcycle :)
- No body will nag me about my friend's wife buying a new minivan :)
- I DON'T HAVE INLAWS!
Sorry married dudes.... I know you're crying now ... you're really missing out :)
Now with the updates:
- The remote stays where it belongs. In my hand!
- No one changes from my favorite show to some wussy episode of the bald and the beautiful
- No body whines about everything in the world
- No one talking to their friends on the phone for hours
- My male (or female) friends can visit ANYTIME
- Flirting is allowed.. no ENCOURAGED
- All the family is engaged in getting me hooked!
- When you're back home, you get random people inviting you to lunch and dinner to check out their daughters :)
- Have one car :), pay gas for one car
- Can be out of the bed, and ready to head out to party in 10 minutes!
- Other than toilet paper, there's no need to by other "disposables"