Anti-Tag, why marriage is overrated!
- By: Qwaider
- On:Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:03:10 AM
- In:Humorous
- Viewed: (19885) times
- Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.5/5 stars (221 votes cast)
Since Kinzi is spearheading a campaign to promote marriage, I decided to play the devil's advocate in a piece I call, "Marriage is overrated"
Here you go, my 30 reasons on why marriage is really overrated!
UPDATED :)
Lets start at the top....
- I have the bed all for myself
No one is sharing my baby!
- No one hogs my blanket
- I can play XBOX at 3 AM
- I don't need permission to go out :)
- I don't need permission to stay out!
- No body asks me why I'm late!
- No body (else) spends my money!
- I don't have to leave my bed to fart (sorry for grossing you out)
- I can peek at women :)
- I can talk to random women!
- I don't need to remember birthdays, anniversaries, occasions, holidays, valentine's ... I don't have to worry about all this stuff!
- My bathroom doesn't smell like a bakery shop!
- My sheets are not pink, red or any other girly color
- My hair comb doesn't have any long tangled hair in it
- My bathroom counter space is ALL MINE ...
- There are no harmful chemicals in the house to
a) Remove hair
b) Grow hair
c) glue nails
d) Whiten skin
e) Darken skin
f) Curl hair
g) Straighten hair
h) dye hair
i) Bleach hair
j) Remove hair painfully using molten wax!
- There are no dangerous contraptions in my house that
a) Burn hair straight
b) Burn hair curly
c) Burn hair wavy
d) Peal off dead skin
f) Curl eyebrows
- There are no self inflecting pain devices in my house, this includes
a) Plucking Tweezers
b) Hair pins
- The toilet seat can remain up ... :)
- My shower doesn't have any long hair clogging it
- My closet is half full but ALL mine :)
- My house has only 5 or 6 pairs of shoes
- Given a choice to go Shopping or go fishing.. I can always decide to go fishing
- If I were the type, I wouldn't be stuck sleeping with the same boring old nagging face every night
- If I were the type, I wouldn't be the one worrying about contraceptives.. :)
- I can eat RED MEAT whenever I feel like it!
- I can go to Hooters :) [Although I don't]
- I can buy a two seater car, a convertible or even a motorcycle :)
- No body will nag me about my friend's wife buying a new minivan :)
- I DON'T HAVE INLAWS!
Sorry married dudes.... I know you're crying now ... you're really missing out :)
UPDATE:
Now with the updates:
- The remote stays where it belongs. In my hand!
- No one changes from my favorite show to some wussy episode of the bald and the beautiful
- No body whines about everything in the world
- No one talking to their friends on the phone for hours
- My male (or female) friends can visit ANYTIME
- Flirting is allowed.. no ENCOURAGED
- All the family is engaged in getting me hooked!
- When you're back home, you get random people inviting you to lunch and dinner to check out their daughters :)
- Clubbing
- Have one car :), pay gas for one car
- Can be out of the bed, and ready to head out to party in 10 minutes!
- Other than toilet paper, there's no need to by other "disposables"
Memories....
1. no hair under the sink
2. no hair inside the sink
3. no hair in hidden places :s
4. no calls every five minutes when im out with: when r u coming back? where is lunch?
5. i get invited to all gatherings (this one goes to both genders!)
6. i drive my own car no matter who's riding with me
7. no smudges on the kitchen floor because someone was lazy to wipe his shoes on the way in
8. i dont have to cook mlookieh ever (i hate mlookieh)
9. i wake up whenever i wish, i sleap whenever i wish ;)
10. and i dont have to worry about contraceptives (or getting stuck with wrong time pregnancy) either :D
11. ah, i dont have to worry about your 16, 17, and 18 :D
12. nor 29, it really goes both ways, only his friend's wife made him knafeh!
Here is my take:
http://www.palforce.com/?p=579
Peace
My list would say
# I won't have to slog my arse off having to cook for someone so ungrateful
# This person will also have the guts to say, this is the worst food I've eaten
# Where are my this and that and that and this, as though I have been wearing clothes and accessories of the other gender.
# I can sleep right through the day and keep awake all night without having someone say it's 6:00 AM and you are still in Bed.
# I can put on as much weight as I like and offend people who think slim is beautiful
The list can go on and on......
Good Luck Folks
Have a separate bathroom
Have a separate closet
Bigger blanket than the bedsize
Get two TV so you both can enjoy your show/Game
Don't wait to be ask where you've been or where you're going, just tell. I'm sure you would appreciate your partner doing the same thing than sneaking behind your back.
As for the other concern of yours GROW UP! Life is not fair you can't have everything.
Rereading the Blogs: This is so interesting!
Women don't want marriage, they want a wedding. Plus human beings, unlike penguins, aren't monogamous by nature. That was the stupid religions that sanctified marriage and stigmatized unmarried people. Also, you don't need to marry to have children. Another thing is the misused word "love", love is only felt for a person of your bloodline (say son, daughter, mother, brother, etc). What you feel for another person who is not blood-related to you is pure lust and the instinct of reproduction of the human kind. Undeniable! don't try to fool yourselves. Once these basic instincts have been satisfied, the urgency fades away, therefore it cannot be called love. None of you can ever deny having had basic instinct thoughts for another person. Be true to yourselves and really think about it before you make the biggest mistake of your life.