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« First impressions... Yes, people are stupid! »

Anti-Tag, why marriage is overrated!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:03:10 AM
  • In:Humorous
  • Viewed: (18803) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (161 votes cast)

    Since Kinzi is spearheading a campaign to promote marriage, I decided to play the devil's advocate in a piece I call, "Marriage is overrated"

    no bride

    Here you go, my 30 reasons on why marriage is really overrated!

    UPDATED :)

    Lets start at the top....

    1. I have the bed all for myself
      No one is sharing my baby!
    2. No one hogs my blanket
    3. I can play XBOX at 3 AM
    4. I don't need permission to go out :)
    5. I don't need permission to stay out!
    6. No body asks me why I'm late!
    7. No body (else) spends my money!
    8. I don't have to leave my bed to fart (sorry for grossing you out)
    9. I can peek at women :)
    10. I can talk to random women!
    11. I don't need to remember birthdays, anniversaries, occasions, holidays, valentine's ... I don't have to worry about all this stuff!
    12. My bathroom doesn't smell like a bakery shop!
    13. My sheets are not pink, red or any other girly color
    14. My hair comb doesn't have any long tangled hair in it
    15. My bathroom counter space is ALL MINE ...
    16. There are no harmful chemicals in the house to
      a) Remove hair
      b) Grow hair
      c) glue nails
      d) Whiten skin
      e) Darken skin
      f) Curl hair
      g) Straighten hair
      h) dye hair
      i) Bleach hair
      j) Remove hair painfully using molten wax!
    17. There are no dangerous contraptions in my house that
      a) Burn hair straight
      b) Burn hair curly
      c) Burn hair wavy
      d) Peal off dead skin
      f) Curl eyebrows
    18. There are no self inflecting pain devices in my house, this includes
      a) Plucking Tweezers
      b) Hair pins
    19. The toilet seat can remain up ... :)
    20. My shower doesn't have any long hair clogging it
    21. My closet is half full but ALL mine :)
    22. My house has only 5 or 6 pairs of shoes
    23. Given a choice to go Shopping or go fishing.. I can always decide to go fishing
    24. If I were the type, I wouldn't be stuck sleeping with the same boring old nagging face every night
    25. If I were the type, I wouldn't be the one worrying about contraceptives.. :)
    26. I can eat RED MEAT whenever I feel like it!
    27. I can go to Hooters :) [Although I don't]
    28. I can buy a two seater car, a convertible or even a motorcycle :)
    29. No body will nag me about my friend's wife buying a new minivan :)
    30. I DON'T HAVE INLAWS!

    Sorry married dudes.... I know you're crying now ... you're really missing out :)

    UPDATE:

    Now with the updates:

    1. The remote stays where it belongs. In my hand!
    2. No one changes from my favorite show to some wussy episode of the bald and the beautiful
    3. No body whines about everything in the world
    4. No one talking to their friends on the phone for hours
    5. My male (or female) friends can visit ANYTIME
    6. Flirting is allowed.. no ENCOURAGED
    7. All the family is engaged in getting me hooked!
    8. When you're back home, you get random people inviting you to lunch and dinner to check out their daughters :)
    9. Clubbing
    10. Have one car :), pay gas for one car
    11. Can be out of the bed, and ready to head out to party in 10 minutes!
    12. Other than toilet paper, there's no need to by other "disposables"

    Other Memories Documented on June 28
    « First impressions... Yes, people are stupid! »

    Memories....

    Hey Qwaider all those complaints, but the truth is that you guys can't live without us. Plus not everything about being with someone is bad. Or isn't it nice having someone next to you to warm up at night when it's cold. Or do you like having your bathroom all dirty and smelly? let me tell you something else, I am too picky to use my boyfriends comb or to leave hair in the shower floor, believe there is nothing else I hate the most than finding hair in the shower. Plus in the shopping part, believe me my boyfriend loves to go shopping more than I do (I know it sounds impossible, but he drives me crazy everytime he decides to go shopping!!) One last thing, I didn't get the red meat part???
    • #2
    • kinzi
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2007 10:19:53 AM
    This is a riot!! TOO funny! With your permission, I may write a good-nature rebuttle...:D
    • #3
    • salam
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2007 10:21:37 AM
    well Qwaider, If I've said it once I've said it a million times: you must be hanging out with the wrong type of couples!
    let me join please... I hereby declare my declaration to declare marriage as ... overrated :s I too have reasons, ur reasons look really good :) add these from a female comrade: :)

    1. no hair under the sink
    2. no hair inside the sink
    3. no hair in hidden places :s
    4. no calls every five minutes when im out with: when r u coming back? where is lunch?
    5. i get invited to all gatherings (this one goes to both genders!)
    6. i drive my own car no matter who's riding with me
    7. no smudges on the kitchen floor because someone was lazy to wipe his shoes on the way in
    8. i dont have to cook mlookieh ever (i hate mlookieh)
    9. i wake up whenever i wish, i sleap whenever i wish ;)
    10. and i dont have to worry about contraceptives (or getting stuck with wrong time pregnancy) either :D
    11. ah, i dont have to worry about your 16, 17, and 18 :D
    12. nor 29, it really goes both ways, only his friend's wife made him knafeh!
    Sure : ) enjoy !
    illi ma y6ool il 3enab....  :p
    • #7
    • moi
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2007 3:31:08 PM
    A classic case of sour grapes? ;) All that "freedom" can get pretty boring, don't you think? You can't fight nature, Sam. It's the way God created us...Can't wait the post when you will declare you've fallen in love and are getting married, and then apologize for all the bad things you said about marriage :o)
    This job is not for you,you cant handle the truth.
    • #9
    • sam
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2007 5:24:43 PM
    Q just get married and get it over, u know u want to , we know u want, so khalas stop bad mouthing marriage...and just because the odd few's marriage sucks doesnt mean all marriage is bad..and there aren't too many girls these day who buy pink and red sheets..at least not the ones i know:p
    Did you notice that 90% of your reasons contained "I" and "My"?
    Salam,

    Here is my take:

    http://www.palforce.com/?p=579

    Peace
    Best of luck to you living old and lonely! enjoy your stuff and freedom.
    ta7sheesh .... this is soooooo funny!
    • #15
    • nunya bizniz
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 10/16/2007 5:25:23 PM
    sounds to me like you have the potential to be gay.....so go on and get yourself a boyfriend who can share the same beliefs that you do :-P
    • #16
    • prankster
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 2/19/2008 12:00:12 PM
    Haha this is so funny! Thanks Qwaider and Mariam. I have always lived like this..... too good to be true
    My list would say
    # I won't have to slog my arse off having to cook for someone so ungrateful
    # This person will also have the guts to say, this is the worst food I've eaten
    # Where are my this and that and that and this, as though I have been wearing clothes and accessories of the other gender.
    # I can sleep right through the day and keep awake all night without having someone say it's 6:00 AM and you are still in Bed.
    # I can put on as much weight as I like and offend people who think slim is beautiful

    The list can go on and on......

    Good Luck Folks
    • #17
    • Torrance
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 10/8/2009 7:34:17 PM
    • SpamScore=[1]
    AWW MAN THIS IS SOOOO TRU....MARRIAGE IS SOOO NOT NESSESARY!!! THINK ABOUT IT EVERY MARRIAGE YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT IS A TOTAL DISASTER SO WHY DO PEOPLE DIVE INTO IT. HEY DUDE YOU GOT MY VOTE...
    • #18
    • G
    • Apple Mac Safari Browser
    • Said
    • On: 1/9/2010 8:57:39 PM
    • SpamScore=[0.5]
    Marriage is not for everybody.....  but if you want  to try it, here's few suggestions that might just resolve your concerns: Tried it myself and proven effective:  

    Have a separate bathroom
    Have a separate closet
    Bigger blanket than the bedsize
    Get two TV so you both can enjoy your show/Game

    Don't wait to be ask where you've been or where you're going, just tell.   I'm sure you would appreciate your partner doing the same thing than sneaking behind your back.

    As for the other concern of yours GROW UP! Life is not fair you can't have everything.
    • #19
    • G
    • Apple Mac Safari Browser
    • Said
    • On: 1/9/2010 9:30:59 PM
    • SpamScore=[-0.02]

    Rereading the Blogs:   This is so interesting!  
    I wonder what are some of the worst marriages ever?I'm thing the one in "The Burning Bed" movie starring Farrah Fawcett.She was so good in it.I'm glad she is in Heaven now and not burning in hell forever.She sure could knock men's socks off with that hair of hers,finer mane could never been found,I even went so far as to have a Farrah Fawcett wig even,I guess wigs are fine in emegency but they do look fake.That brings up this wedding disaster:What happens on the wedding night if there are fakes in the bra and the bride is flat chested and the dude's hormones are sapped,sour and melted?
    • #21
    • Rodney
    • Ubuntu OS Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 8/3/2010 8:21:17 AM
    • SpamScore=[1]
    I agree with the writer. But there's plenty more to it. Marriage is not something to try (as someone suggested to try. non-sense). You've got to be 1000% sure and your partner too. I'm 49 and have had about 6 long term relationships living in my own house by myself and have enjoyed singledom like you can't imagine. All (and I mean each and everyone) of my married friends (male and female) have always expressed their envy (in a good sense) of my lifestyle.
    Women don't want marriage, they want a wedding. Plus human beings, unlike penguins, aren't monogamous by nature. That was the stupid religions that sanctified marriage and stigmatized unmarried people. Also, you don't need to marry to have children. Another thing is the misused word "love", love is only felt for a person of your bloodline (say son, daughter, mother, brother, etc). What you feel for another person who is not blood-related to you is pure lust and the instinct of reproduction of the human kind. Undeniable! don't try to fool yourselves. Once these basic instincts have been satisfied, the urgency fades away, therefore it cannot be called love. None of you can ever deny having had basic instinct thoughts for another person. Be true to yourselves and really think about it before you make the biggest mistake of your life.
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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