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« Expired Ph.DsThis time, Really thanks Microsoft! »

Commandments For guys only...

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Thursday, May 31, 2007 11:56:55 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4815) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (126 votes cast)

    For single guys out there, here's a little guide to help you through the relationship maze with the "better half". Now you have to understand couple of things first

    alpha
    1. This is provided As-Is with no warranties, guarantees and confers no rights
    2. This doesn't work with everyone, you have to be highly adaptive to identify the right approach to the right person
    3. Use at your own Risk
    4. I don't do break-ups [From Hitch or Love Dr]

    Hello fellas ... This is a quick and dirty guide to success in the female relationship confusion. Yes, I know you might have many questions but try to focus and keep your goddamn testosterone levels lower than your waste. Nothing deludes your heads more than that. So focus!

    Now, I'm going to mention a set of "Turn-on"s their opposites are going to be turn offs. So make sure you stick to these "turn-ons" religiously.

    1. Be cool!

    There is nothing more important than you having character. A personality. Something to distinguish you out from the millions of guys out there. Try to be smooth and not very talkative. Say important things, interesting things. And for god's sake, don't mention your stupid level in PlayStation!

    2. Be bold!

    Nothing is more attractive to ladies than a courageous, gallant, fearless guy who doesn't waste time in being shy and withdrawn. Granted that some women like shy-guys. But that's not the majority. It's primal female instinct to get attracted to courage, exploit it! Besides being bold cuts the long story short AND gets you where you want fast. You make the lady aware of your intentions (score positive on that: honesty, and clear intentions) and avoids the dreadful "Friend" trap (aka brotherly in the eastern cultures). Which you MUST avoid like the plague if you are really interested in the lady. Cowardness is so uncool!

    3. Be decisive!

    There is no worse turn off than a guy who can't make his goddamn mind. Know what you want and go for it. Don't waste time beating around the bush! Be (as #2 above says) and Decide what you want. Then Chaaaarrrgggeeee! Being wobbly in your decisions will confuse the woman and have her keep her guard up. Since it appears that you're not really strong on your interest

    4. Be strong

    You can't show that you're too weak to be of interest! It's the females' nature to seek the alpha male. If you look fragile. Act like weak and talk in a puny weakly way. Then you're weak! Make sure you're strength is not only physical (a plus) but also mental and situational. (it drives women crazy to be around strong men). Don't go nuts with things like "I can't live without you". Make it clear that you force your will to exist!

    5. Show some emotions

    Yes, you need to be romantic at times and buy a PDA or an organizer to remember important occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, first hand held, first kiss, etc ..etc ..etc and plan on doing ANYTHING (doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant, just show that you remember)

    6. Use jealousy to your advantage

    A little competition might tip the balance in your favour. Nothing drives a lady to show her territory than feeling that she has something that might be contested. If you're there and no one ever cares to look at you. Then you're boring and you're violating commandment #1 above

    However, don't push the lady to a position where she would get over jealous and forces her to either do something stupid or worse, dump you!

    7. Make sure you show interest!

    If the lady can't feel your interest, she will not give it. Again, there is a delicate balance here. Too much interest is interpreted as being (a) Pushy, and (b) desperate. BOTH are negative positions that you don't want to be near!

    8. Use ear plugs!

    Yes, when the lady wants to go out on a rant, she doesn't want you to interact! She doesn't want you to play devil's advocate. She doesn't want to hear your side of the story. She is absolutely not interested in the "Right thing to do". And she's completely aware that this will bore you to hell. But she wants to see you sitting there, nodding in attention and just keeping up with her facial gestures. If she smiles smile. If she frowns, frown. and if she cries you hug her! No your opinion is REALLY not that important at this time!

    9. Fat? No you look gorgeous in that!

    10. Be wise with complements

    Don't EVER complement another woman (or a man) excessively in her presence!

    11. Subdue the opposition.

    To be the woman's main-man. Her best friend must be MAD about you! Yeah, You have to appeal to both women. I don't care how you do it. Bribe, sweet talk, gain some incriminating leverage... If you are on the best friend's "OK" list. You will win

    12. When in doubt..... Shower!

    There is no more turn off than body odor! And about other "funny" things you do when you pull your finger (Aka Fart) don't even think about it! Excuse yourself if you have to!

    13. The Z factor

    Don't EVER be Zinikh (smell of fish) which is being a cheesy, corny, witless pushy slab of beef! The only impression you will leave is "Ewwww!"

    14. Make her laugh

    If you're not quick. Memorise some Jokes. It might even be more important than reciting poetry. Learn some good jokes. But be careful. Don't become a clown and lose your #1 commandment above. Learn some dirty jokes too. Not disgusting ones. But dirty jokes. People lose their cool to these!

    And finally

    15. Ambivalence is a very strong aphrodisiac (yes, that was a Qwaiderization)

    Nothing, in this universe is stronger than a women feeling neglected. If you show that you don't care. She would initiate a hostile take over you. Nothing will beat a woman's urge to have what she couldn't! (this doesn't contradict with #7 above because this happens either before, or after. Use #7 during a good relationship)

    ===

    Now, remember. You have to either be Strong, Rich, Handsome, influential, Celebrity to not care about all the above and have women throw themselves at you. But if you're not one of these ...... Then print this out and uphold the commandments! Or you'll die an old man in a room that smells like used socks and armpits!

    Other Memories Documented on May 31
    « Expired Ph.DsThis time, Really thanks Microsoft! »

    Memories....

    Great Commandments...for guys only!
    thank Godness i am married and i do not have to be on the look out for mr. right!
    "Nothing, in this universe is stronger than a women feeling neglected."...

    Hats off!!! totally agree with that :) when I feel that I am being neglected, I can act like a wild cat, and I just hate it, to the bones!!!
    Qwaider, Brilliant !!!

    You have put together the perfect strategy, its even a little freakish how well you understand women. but very true guys take it from me.

    I bet you will make one lucky lady very happy !
    Ladies and gentlemen.. put your hands together for Mr.Qwaider :) , Dude!!! You deserve an award for this article…
    Very impressive work Q.. this is a piece of art walahi :D .. Guys listen to him, this guys knows what he talking about.. my advice.. print it, frame it, and listen to the guy :D
    Awesome.
    he he, shoo yazalameh, طرح عطاء الشغلة؟
    :) "This doesn't work with everyone" ur damn right, this number (hadee ennomra, myself ya3ni) finds it all one giant peice of crap :) [dont take it personally though, im still single too, lol]

    those sound like what Jim Carey did in dumb and dumber (except for pulling the finger LOL)

    agool, i think to my nomra its: be urself, and allow me to by myself, because there is nothing i cant stand more than not being able to be myself around somebody

    tha7aketni 3ala hal masa :)
    • #7
    • sam
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 5/31/2007 7:01:37 PM
    great post!!
    some men are totally clueless about #8, now that hubby got what he wanted, he is totally ignoring #8!!! i start to rant and he gives me his opinion which is usually not what i want to hear or care for. I'll email your commandments to him! bas do not just nod, say something like you are right, aha, i agree, how dare, totally, here and there, so it sounds like you are listning!:)
    and you are totally right on #15, nothing is worse than neglect. In any relationship .
    Mariam....
    :) You have to have disclaimers .. you know .. It depends how serious the women is. But you must raise her interest! Must!

    How do you find this as crap? You did manage to laugh ... didn't you?

    Being yourself is all nice. But chances are, you will never be yourself around others.

    [Qwaiderizaion]
    Fusing people's limits into your character is the secret to Comfort around them
    [/Qwaiderization]
    No. 1. HA HA HA HA, but I like PlayStation :D. When I got husband the PS2 for our 1st wedding anniversary (romantic eh he he he , well it was a gift for him but who am I kidding) I swear we did not leave the house for 2 months playing Grand Turismo !!!! he he he I used to win by the way....still bugs him to this day...

    No. 6. I think showing a little bit of jealousy towards the woman is good too, imagine the man is never jealous not even a bit, the partner would think that they are taken for granted.

    No. 15. I would use that with caution Q, because some women don't like games, you ignore, you will get ignored...period.

    This article is fun man!

    Tab “Commandments for women only” version of the article?? I would love to see if you get it right on how to get the man.

    wow, is this a comment or a post ???? Sorry buddy.
    • #10
    • kinzi
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 5/31/2007 8:49:03 PM
    Yes, Qwaider, very intuitive! Best post yet on genders!

    I do agree that it is important to be  yourself. But that assumes we know  ourselves...a self-aware guy is as attractive as a bold strong one!
    THE GUY SAID: GUYS ONLY. WHY ALL WOMEN COMMENTING?
    Because guys are "clueless" We need to respect the "lady's position" :)
    Oh my god Q!
    If I can find a guy that has 1/3 of these rules, I would be very happy!
    Amazing article!!
    • #14
    • moo
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 5/31/2007 10:22:27 PM
    1.well , luckily am not talkative at all , but I always thought of that as a disadvantage
    2.sadly am not bold :S , but am bald , does it help !! I guess not

    emm , just a thought , DO YOU have a gf , hehe , cuz it would be funny if you don’t  
    Moo!!
    HAHAHAHA!!! LOL!
    Maybe :)
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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