A 1400 year old joke, gets center stage
- By: Qwaider
- On:Saturday, May 19, 2007 12:33:58 AM
- In:Thoughts
- Viewed: (7601) times
- Currently 4.3/5 Stars.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
Rated 4.3/5 stars (162 votes cast)
I guess everyone has already heard about this by now. The fatwa about women breast feeding men to allow them to be in seclusion with men. What people fail to see is that prophet Mohammad proposed this solution in a very localized case, but if you read the so called "Hadith", you can feel the sense of humor the prophet (peace be upon him).
It's been proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that this hadith is Sahih (Authentic) but does it set an Islamic rule? I think not.
Let set the stage:
The story is about a couple who adopted a child since he was a baby. The boy has grown up to be a young man. Islam came and abolished adoption. So came the issue. This man is now a foreign man to the woman who adopted him (before Islam)
The punch line:
So they approached the prophet asking what should they do. So the prophet answered:
"Nurse him"
The woman exclaimed, "But he has a beard" ...
What the woman failed to see is that that man is already considered her son. Regardless if she has breast feed him or not!
This is actually my take on this issue, it's NOT a fatwa, or consider it a Fatwa to NOT do it. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, including All the Sa7aba. It's just not appropriate!
Lets just entertain the thought for a little bit.... And go along with the Joke
- Breast feeding of old men becomes such a common place that everyone does it ... Anywhere!
- New bra's with easy access would be invented to help make the process easier
- A new technique of breast feeding where a women would flick out her breast in a "pump-action" motion where it would hit the man right in the mouth. Just in case the woman needs to do that in very short period of time
- A woman facing rape, can use the technique above to nullify her attackers
- New breast make up will be invented since this is an exposed part of the body now and will be seen more in public
- Women will start keeping big address books to keep track of all their "children"
- Wives will start waving their breasts in front of their husbands during arguments. Warning reducing him to a son if he didn't comply
- A person will discover that he's got way more brothers than he thought he did!
- The term "milk and cookies" will have completely a new meaning depending on the person you're talking to
- Coffee-mate will go out of business
- Lactose intolerance will be punishable by castration
- Similar to the "pump action" motion, another technique would be used to Squirt milk into unsuspecting males
- Drive-by squirting is common in poor neighborhoods
- LactoCops is the name of the police keeping track of who's the mother of whom. And making sure no offenders are ever alone without nursing first
Ahh the list can go on forever ... but this is obviously a joke. Lets laugh it up .. and move on with our lives
Memories....
This is soooooooooooooooo Sooooooooooo funny!
LOL@:
Pump-Action
Drive by squirting
LactoCops
Where do you get all these funny ideas from!!!Genius! LOL!!!!
Now, after reading it another time...
Looooooooooooooooooool, OMG!! Samer, you are hilarious.. you have the most shocking sense of humor... LactoCops.. that would be one the the most exhausting jobs ever.. day and night.. in dooors out dooors.. halaaaaaak, hehehe
(LactoCops..how do you invent your terms???.. enta jad mish 6abeeee3ii..lolll)
Which reminds me of a tafili joke, here is how it goes:
So after the death of king hussein(alla yer7amo)in like 3 hours the cops saw a guy laughing so hard in the street, they were surprised and went to talk to him..
Cops: Walak ya 7aywan sho btsawi ga3ed?!!
Tafeeli: Wala eshi ya seedi bneth7ak zay ma ento shayfeen, wella el wa7ad mamnoo3 yeth7ak hassa?!!
Cops: Walak enta majnoon ya 7mar, mn wen enta(typical jordnaian cops)?!
Tafeeli: Mn el tafeeleh ya seedi!!
Cops: Aha, Bte3rafesh enno el malek 7sen mat?
Tafeeli:sho btgooooool, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa3, o balash yothrob b7alo, la6am la7ad ma nezel menno el dam, El shor6a shefgo 3leh o ballasho yahaddoo fee, wala 3endo 7'abar..
Cops: Ya rajol wa77ed alla, el rasool 3leh el salam mat!!
El tafeeli: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, kaman el rasooooool!!!!
I can't believe it... ow Kaman el malek?? waaaaaaaa2 waaaaaaaaaaaaaa2.. :))
This is hilarious!
Hilarious!!!
http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2007/03/22/32797.html
Enjoy!!
Respect our prophet (peace be upon him) words . even if YOU THINK its a Joke , or try to make FUN of who talking about it in this way,
you need to watch your words , and i recommnad you to go read more about Hadith explanation , how to read it WELL and get between lines, and remeber main thing
قوله تعالى :{ وما ينطق عن الهوى ؛ إن هو إلا وحيٌ يوحى
so put the whole case , and the explanation , what dose Fatwa mean , and what happen exactly , none muslim read your post ...... so you MUST BE VERY CLEAR IN SUCH A CASE
"Lets just entertain the thought for a little bit.... And go along with the Joke "
when its your thought do what ever you want ,
its not any one one words , OMG even in our religion we find something to enteratin with .....
arrghh
it is a very localized case and we can say its FAWAT too , just guess what it cant be happen another time AT ALL, cuz the the case root's based one adoption and its abolished after that date .... this is ONE explanation out of 4 ... Read more about Hadith
JOke had yali tel3 ma3ak !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i never heard of it
thanx
thankx anyway
Qabbani ... Habibi ... The prophet used to joke too. Remember the story about "Old people don't go to heaven" and "I see white in his eye"
He apparently was more light hearted than most people are these days.
And yes, not everything he says is wa7y... And to prove that what the Sa7abah used to say: "اهو وحي يا رسول الله؟" they wouldn't question his decision if it was Wa7y... right?
I do respect our prophet, more than you can imagine. I respect the MAN, the HUMAN Mohammad was not a God!
So I just established that the prophet used to joke, and not everything he said was wa7y .. so why can't this be one of those cases?!
Mohannad, actually the story is over a year old, It first appeared in Halah Show (halah sarhan) after the news paper showed an article about the matter
ya 3azizi qwaider, it might be misinterpretation, it might be a nulled verdict (which is the most probable) but it was not a joke, u gotta read the bokhari entry to know this, it did generate quite a reaction, and 3a'esha asked her sisters to breast feed those she wished to come in to her house and see her after she heard the Prophet, other emams afterwards nulled it with deductions, but it was not a joke for sure... it has been concluded that nursing is as good as blood relation, and it only happens during the first two years, while the stupid al arabiah article says it does not prevent marriage!!! here is the full bokhari source
http://hadith.al-islam.com/Display/Display.asp?Doc=4&ID=2203&SearchText=الرضاع&SearchType=root&Scope=0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8&Offset=0&SearchLevel=QBE
okay just to tell you its NOT A JOKE ,as simple as that
about
"اهو وحي يا رسول الله؟
is another case to show the GROUP work and consultation and they handle the result that time
any way this Hadith is NOT A JOKE , its something Happen at that time and if its a joke , cuz our prophet (peace be upon him)will show that in some way not to let it to be like that and people confused about it ....
and the prophet had something Called 3esmah .. so what ever he do or say theres a lessons behind it ,
do you know this one ???
سمعت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول لا يدخل هذا بيت قوم إلا أدخله الله الذل
هاد عن المحراث الخاصة بالزراعة ؟؟ معأول الفلاحة بتجيب الذل للفلاح ؟؟
هيك الحديقث لا زايد ولا ناقص و بالصحيح , يعني بتعتبرو مزح ؟؟ ,ولا بدور على اسباب و بتعرف بالزبط شو الهدف و الحكمة منو
so this is the point , its NOT A JOKE , read more about it and dont make fun with any thing related to prophet (peace be upon him) , as u respect him that much too ...
Stop writing in English .. Dakheel Rabbak! Mishan el anbya ya zalameh!
Now, regarding Jokes. Yes the prophet made jokes because HE IS HUMAN! And yes he made WRONG decisions (on couple of occasions) and it was NOT wa7y.. therefore the famous "انتم اعلم بأمور دنياكم"
Can you please stop being stubborn and go read a little bit! There's nothing wrong with Mohammad (PBUH) showing ALL OF US that he is HUMAN ... HUMAN... HUMAN!
please a5ee, this is not a hadeeth
It is absolutely not not a hadeeth wat more a 9a7ee7 one
i saw this barnamej on the net and the sheikh was saying that this is not a hadeeth at all.
And by the way Elrasool 3aleehi i99alatu wassalam do make jokes,
but not jokes which are vulgar
please jama3ah do not make fun of the deen....
Be careful 2abl ma tenseboo shee2 la Rasoolillah cos irrasool 2al (من كذب علي متعمدا فليتبوأ مقعده من النار)
Now, certain things were acceptable at certain times in history that are not acceptable now. There are things that happen, said and dressed today that used to be considered blaspheme! The world changes and virtue concepts also change. Talking about nursing, is VERY normal matter now and in the past.
Text:
حَدَّثَنَا عَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ وَابْنُ أَبِي عُمَرَ قَالَا حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الْقَاسِمِ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ قَالَتْ
جَاءَتْ سَهْلَةُ بِنْتُ سُهَيْلٍ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي أَرَى فِي وَجْهِ أَبِي حُذَيْفَةَ مِنْ دُخُولِ سَالِمٍ وَهُوَ حَلِيفُهُ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَرْضِعِيهِ قَالَتْ وَكَيْفَ أُرْضِعُهُ وَهُوَ رَجُلٌ كَبِيرٌ فَتَبَسَّمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
Man ,prophet (peace be upon him) Human ma3som he made JOKE YES , but this is NOT A JOKE to make fun ...
why u change the subject !!! am not talking about our prophet (peace be upon him), am talking about the Hadith وit is not a joke is something we need to understand it well and get it from all sides
and get conclusion that Hadith was for a very special case that it will not happen again !!!
man dont ask me to read , go read by your self i know my religion very very well , more than u can imagine ....
its useless to argue with u ... not about stubborn its about the way deal with the subject ...
رواة الحديث نقلو الحديث و ما حدا فيهن على مرة 1400 سنة خطر على بالو انه مزحة , :) الله يفتح عليك
كنت بجد متمني انك تحكي بالموضوع بطريقة غير هيك , يعني على الأقل غير العرب و المسلمين لما يقرأو عندك , يعرفو شو القصة و كيف تحلليها , بس انه هيك طلع مع والله النبي على السلام برأيك كان عم يمزح مو عم بحل حالة علئانه بين حكم شرعي سابق و لاحق ...
سبحان الله نحنا هيك كل فترة و فترة بطلعو شغلات و بعجئو العالم فيها , و جماعة الأزهر الله يصطفل فيهن والله بعطيهم على نيتهم و دوافعهم
العالم كلها عم تحكي بالموضوع و نسيو 1000 قصة تانية
ممكن أشوف الدليل انو هاذ حديث صحيح؟
من وين قرأت الاشيئ؟
بس انا محتااااااااااااااره
سمعت إنو مش صحيح الحديث
وأنا متأكدة باللي سمعتو
خافوا ربنا يا ناس
((ما يلفظ من قول إلا لديه رقيب عتيد))
this is not the wording of the hadeeth..
that was from that saqi6ah in that tv programme...
according to Qabbani the hadeeth is as below,so where did u beard part come from?
حَدَّثَنَا عَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ وَابْنُ أَبِي عُمَرَ قَالَا حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ عُيَيْنَةَ عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ الْقَاسِمِ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنْ عَائِشَةَ قَالَتْ
جَاءَتْ سَهْلَةُ بِنْتُ سُهَيْلٍ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي أَرَى فِي وَجْهِ أَبِي حُذَيْفَةَ مِنْ دُخُولِ سَالِمٍ وَهُوَ حَلِيفُهُ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَرْضِعِيهِ قَالَتْ وَكَيْفَ أُرْضِعُهُ وَهُوَ رَجُلٌ كَبِيرٌ فَتَبَسَّمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
الحديث وارد في صحيح مسلم , و في جدال عليه من ناحية الرواة بس للأن ما حدا ثبت عدم صحته , إلا انه الأن في عمل على تنقيح الصحيحين و تفنيدهم بشكل افضل بحيث يتم ربط الأحاديث من تاريخها و الأسبقية و اخراج الأحاديث المنسوخة يعني يلي اجا حديث بعدها الغا يلي قبلو
النقاش انه هي كانت حالة خاصة لأنه اله علاقة بالتبني و حرم التبني واجى الحديث للخصوصية
بعدين هي حالة لا يمكن تكرر لأنه سالم كان متبنى , و التبني هلا حرام , ف بتأدر تحكي انتهت و انتسخ الحديث ف الأصل انه ما يتناقش في ابدا
و في عدة امور كمان بنفس الباب
Habibi ... The problem is that Aisha did that. She used to ask her sisters and her nieces to do that. Which means that she "appears" to have misunderstood it.
My view is that he was joking. Can you prove that he was not? You can't because you don't know. There are A LOT of implications
Don't come preaching me here what I should or what I shouldn't say ... ok?
Passing By,
Mr Qabbani Just posted it above...!
We didn't originate the Hadith, it's documented. I saw that shaikh and he mentioned all "alterations" to that Hadith, and he mentioned the beard!
Ok ya jama3a...
let me tell you this:
About the prophet PBUH he is a human not a God, and he used to make jokes... As for this hadeeth particularly, i dont wanna say he was joking, but he knew he was saying something really strange, at least to people... and as we all know, the prophet PBUH himself said that there are some knowledge that might cause 'fitnah' if spreaded, although the yare 100% Sharee3a... also, do nto forget that this is "hadeeth" not Quran, and it is confirmed that Aysha radeya Allah 3anha denied some hadeeths and said these can never be hadeeths, and still, you can find them in the Sa7ee7 books... If we confirmed that all the hadeeths are 100% sa7ee7a then what would be the difference between sa7ee7 muslim and bu5ari and the Holy Quran!
Now to the case itself...
i understand this hadeeth from my belief that different situations have different considerations according to the society... what is 7aram and forbidden in a society or culture might be very ok in another...
This exact practice does exist in some non-arab muslim cultures, or say used to exist, in the past. In these cultures, if a man kills a man, the killer is chased untill he is captured, and no one has the right to take revenge except his mother. People bring the killer in front of the mother, and ask her, and she has the right either to execute him, or to accept him as a son instead of her lost one. If she does, she breast feeds him, and he dedicates himself to her as a loyal son instead of her lost son as a reward for her generousity when she left him alive.
And it is 100% acceptable! And a very normal practice in these situations!
Of course, you will not understand or accept it if you do not isolate yourself from you Arab mentality... even American... You have to understand that the world has more cultures tha only Arabs and Americans. And Islam is not made only for Arabs, it is for the whole humanity, WHOLE... and no one has the right to reject this peace of islam just because it does not go with Arab mentality or the globalized point of view...
Ok sorry ana 7aket bsara7akteer w ma zawa2t 7akyi abadan looool
bs dal 2eli entiqad wa7ad:
It is not an objective way of discussion to make fun of things.. as for me, when i start hearing jokes and silly humor i stop discussing coz i have an impression that this person who makes jokes is an offended non-objective person :-D
sorry qwaider u know adesh ba7termak w ba7eb ara2ak bs i guess u r open minded enough to get my point of view bedun za3al ;-)
dumt be5air 2a5i ... @);--
u really discussed this from a totally different angle, yes the prophet may have been saying something he wasnt sure about (because after when she asks "but he is a man" and he smiles, q did not finish the statement, the Prohpet replies by: so you are aware of him being a man) and yes Aisha is the only one who considered the ruling, but its obvious after reading ur comment that the matter is way too colorful, and maybe beyond our perception, we were really just wasting our efforts discussing something that emams later resolved at least for the arab mentality... mmm... interesting
Now regarding your comment, that was fantastic. And it's EXACTLY along the same line I was thinking. As I know breast feeding was something commonly practiced and often in public at those times. There was no shame in it..
Anyway, regarding other people's cultures. Again you're right, some cultures walk around topless, and no one even looks at the woman's breasts.
Maryam ... why do I have a feeling that you're min shillet "3ayzeen janaza yishba3oo feeha latm" :)
thanks for understanding my point of view :-) I really appreciate it... really thanks..
Maryam,
dear i didn't say the prophet PBUH said some thing he wasn't sure about... yerda 3aliki had 7aki ma betla3 meni abadan, i only said he knew he was saying some thing strange to people, and i pointed out thatthe prophet PBUH didnt speak out all the knowledge he had because some of it might not be acceptable at that level of common undrstanding... i mean they were so deep to be understood by that time... so he some times made some 'hints' to some points, and didn't go into details...
It's about time I say!
Q "3ayzeen janaza yishba3oo feeha latm" ento betgeeboo el 7agat dee mnein? ana afham? :) never heard of it walla, so i dont know what it means
the hadeeth is saheeh but the explaination is not the way you thin- if you have brain -
and this supject is always brought up by nonmoslims , but if you have a brain and some sence you will take the time to understand why the prophet said it and to whom and why and how it should benn done , but to be a smart ass that will make you idiot .
read , read , read and understand things the way you should and ask if you donot know .
واشكر كل من رد على هذا الموضوع بعقلانيه ولكن تاكدوا ان هذا الحديث صحيح ولكن الكاتب اخذه على انه نكته وعليه ان يعتذر لجميع المسلمين لان هذه سخريه بحق الحبيب الصطفى صللى الله عليه وسلم
وتفاهة الكاتب تكمن في انه اخذ وقت طويل للكتابه كما ترون ولكني لا اظن انه اخذ خمس دقائق ليعرف معنى الحديث ولماذا قاله الرسول ولمن قاله وهل الحكم عام ام خاص لحاله واحده وما راى امهات المسلمين وعلى كل حال ساعطي الكاتب فتره للاعتذار ان كان يبحث عن الحق وليس عن مزاح وعدم معرفه او تهريج
اشكرك على اضافتك .. لكن لا تنسى انه لم يسخر اي احد من الرسول الكريم .. و ان فكر اي شخص بالأستهزاء او الاساءة للرسول عليه افضل الصلاة و اتم التسليم .. فسيلقى منّي ما يكفيه
لكن على ما يبدوا ان البعض يتسى مدى تسامح و انسانية المصطفى الذي قال عنه الله سبحانه و تعالى (و انت كنت فظا عليظ القلب لانفضّوا من حولك) هذه هي اخلاق الرسول الكريم. شخصية محببة و قوية و فذة
روح الفكاهة لا تغيب عن سيدنا محمد عليه الصلاة و السلام .. و قد ثبت في الأثر مزح الرسول مع الصحابة من باب التودد و تخفيف التوتر..
فالرسول بشر .. يصوم و يفطر.. و يصلي و ينام .. و يتزوج النساء .. فمن رغب عن سنّته .. فليس منه. فأن هو الا بشر خلت من قبله الرسل