Happy but crying...

By: Qwaider

On:Thursday, May 03, 2007 2:28:27 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (4252) times

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It was the wedding of her favorite nephew, everything looked great. The bride was over the moon, and already teasing her groom to be in a lovingly coquettish way. Every young man's dream. The bride, the wedding, all the loved ones and family celebrating his incursion into manhood.. Despite all of this happiness and aromatic love filling the air... She was sitting there, with glassy eyes, burning red and glaring with tears. Her wishes and yodeling was being chalked with pain down her throat... She was truly happy, but covetly wishing that was to her own son.

It's so surreal how during the happiest moments in our lives, we think we're over the clouds. Others around us might be drowning in pain not out of envy, but because they were disappointed with their own failures.

Take the example of someone graduating high-school, and getting a 97%. While everyone is happy and excited about the amazing achievement, people who were achieved less grades can't do anything but feel the pain of not achieving.

Parents have this painful urge to make sure their sons and daughters are taken care of and their welfare and future is in safe hands. The just want to feel their children are safe and secure. One of the things that help, is delivering them to the safety of their own home.

Men feel a sudden status upgrade the minute they enter the golden cage. Same goes for girls who become, overnight, Women. Both become outspoken wise people who control the secrets of the universe.

Sometimes, I feel that I just want to fulfil this dream for the sake of the family. Coming to look at it, it's really not that big of a sacrifice. I will start having someone to go home to and to spend time with. I'll always be entertained and if I take this in the Arab male mentality; I'll have good warm food on the table, and someone to take care of the home needs. Not to mention my needs.

But again, it's not as simple as that. I really do want to be the cause of more happiness entering the life of everyone. But not at my personal happiness! Maybe I still believe it's not the right time .. Or maybe I'm not ready ..

I feel happy for people who fulfil their dreams. We might share the same dreams. I feel sorry for myself when I don't achieve such a shared dream. Sometimes it drives me towards further excellence. And other times..... well ... I blog about them

Don't be sad Mom, don't worry, everything is going to be alright... I promise

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Memories....

#2
Qwaider
Said
On: 5/3/2007 3:27:51 AM

Whisperer... It's not about anybody else, that's a problem, I consider when I face it...
You missed the part about doing it just to please others..

#3
أنونيموس
Said
On: 5/3/2007 3:47:43 AM

Well I think that if you're going to get married so that you can please the family and come back home to a warm meal and a clean house, then it's likely that you'll end up unhappy, divorced, or engaged in polygamy like your Saudi buddy 20 years down the road.
Now if you find your special person and decide that this is the person you want to come home to everyday, this is the person you want to share every tabkhet mlokhiyyeh with, and that the union with that person will complete you and your familial ideals, then that's a plausible enough reason to get married and work on a long lasting love and understanding based marriage :)
Now that I read over what I wrote I realize that I shouldn't be talking about things I have 0 experience with hehe. But in the ideal world, that's how I think it ought to work!

#4
Fire-Faten
Said
On: 5/3/2007 4:30:14 AM

You know, I feel you Q, there's no greater sadness than the moment we disappoint our loved ones. Even if this disappointment is only in their heads
Very touching Qwaider, you really made me cry.

#5
nido
Said
On: 5/3/2007 4:54:54 AM

Really nice Qwaider! I'm sure that your mother and all mothers are waiting for your/our life to be complete...But at the same time, they also want it to be completed perfectly! Perfection occurs only with the right partner! So it all worths the waiting! It will happen eventually...never say you're not ready...Love is in the air..just open the heart for it;) good luck!

#6
Tamara
Said
On: 5/3/2007 7:25:08 AM

All of us go through the phase of " it would not be so bad, and it will make them happy " but in some things it makes sense to do that for your family or friends, but in some as marriage its not fair to you its not like sitting for a stupid dinner party its a life time, besides its not fair to the other part of the equation, how would a man feel if he found out that his wife accepted him only to please her parents.

#7
Summer
Said
On: 5/3/2007 8:05:29 AM

it all depends if you are ready to be committed for your own reasons, not to make anyone happy...but if you decide to commit, be sure that your family and your mom especially will be very happy for you...I would be thrilled if my son decides to get married...i cannot wait for this day!I know it is a blessing to find the right person that you want to spend the rest of your life with....best of luck!

#8
Mariam Ayyash
Said
On: 5/3/2007 9:01:27 AM

ommi jananatna, she keeps comparing her unmarried 2 boys and 3 girls under the age of 30 to those who DO GET MARRIED, ma3 el 3elem, kol jeeranna heik, they reach thirty-something before they get married, and when she blows off with: ana ba3raf, ra7 amoot men gheir ma afra7 feekoo! all i have to remind her of is: w liath eben el jeeran, w wlad abul 3abed, ww...etc... whathak elli fee akher el eskan ba3rafesh shoo esmo!
luckily my brother turned 32 and he is finally engaged and getting married (walla bakkeer!) faa that takes mom off of our case :)

#9
Dima
Said
On: 5/3/2007 9:08:00 AM

Stop the search.. and stop looking! it happens when you least expect it. Good Luck, you deserve to be happy.

#10
kinzi
Said
On: 5/3/2007 9:18:30 AM

Qwaider, sweet guy, in my perspective marriage is ALL about sacrificing your personal needs for the good of the other...don't let it scare you, embrace it! The thing is, when both spouses are putting the needs of the other first, you find they meet needs you didn't even know you had!! The joyful abandon of completely devoting ones life to the other's greater good is not a binding cage, but a free-soaring trip!

#11
sam
Said
On: 5/3/2007 11:59:42 AM

ah marriage is not that bad....bas ya3ni getting married just to please other is not a very wise choice...when u find the right person and you are ready to settle that person, then u will make yourself and your family happy...but getting married of the sake of other is just stupid! sa7? :o)

#13
hamede
Said
On: 5/3/2007 6:29:24 PM

Hi gesma wa nasseb,al tayuboon ll tayebat,good luck.

#14
Dima (an oriental blog)
Said
On: 5/3/2007 9:18:25 PM

ma te7ki heek ya Qwaider, bedna nefra7 feek ;) You will keep saying this until you find the one, then you'll say keef kont afaker heek. Hopefully u will. wish u luck.