Everyone's watching, Lets make out

By: Qwaider

On:Wednesday, April 25, 2007 8:00:48 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (15051) times

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Of all the years I lived at home with my parents. I don't recall at any point of time that they have showed any form of affection or explicit gesture in any way that could be misinterpreted by anyone. Going out these days, is like dodging a mine field. Couple of lovers here, couple of lovers there, and everyone is making out!!

I have no idea what exactly are people trying to prove. Doing so much in public. I would understand a couple of teenagers unable to control their hormones. Or unable to find any place to sit privately, but rather older people going out with older ladies. Maybe they're engaged, or married or whatever. But they're not the teenagers that people might excuse

The interesting observation is not that they're making out..... But rather the way some people look defiant and maintain eye contact with other people. Sort of like establishing territory.

Like an animal marks it's territory with it's urine, you find the male circling everyone else around them making sure people understand that this "female" is his! Quite interesting if you ask me

It's as if they're waiting, and expecting people to look, so that they would boast that they're doing it. The good old days of holding hands (only) are gone!

Just like a bad accident on the highway, we can't pass it and not look, these events happen in close vicinity to the point that I for one can't pass by it and not notice it. Sometimes it's cute, others, well needless to say, shouting "Get a room" comes to mind!

The sad part is.... I noticed these events when I was in Amman, I saw couple of instances and was surprised. I remembered it when I saw it again here... I guess, with more globalization, things like this will bleed no matter what we do!

Apparently, less and less people are concerned with exposure...

Making Out: Making out is a slang phrase of American origin and usually serves as a colloquial term or euphemism for the act of two people engaging in prolonged kissing
Source: Wikipedia

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#1
Maioush
Said
On: 4/25/2007 8:37:06 AM

Oh my god Qwaider.. I as just thinking about the same thing, but what’s really driving me crazy about those acts that they don’t really care about kids around them, I mean it’s bad enough for us adults to look at :S …can you believe it that I had to cover my little brother’s eyes sooooooooooooooooooo many times, when I take him out, to prevent him form seeing these things, and poo thing… some times when I’m not being attention he would grab my hand while yelling “Maaaaaaaaaaaai, eeeeeeeeeeeew”.. and cover his eyes with my hands… I have no idea what are these people thinking… it’s gross

#2
أنونيموس
Said
On: 4/25/2007 8:44:24 AM

Yeah Amman [and the area in general] have come a long way in terms of "in lam tasta7e faf3al ma she2t" ideal.
A decade ago that was probably unheard of, people like that would hang out in remote areas. Five years ago you start hearing about that couple that were French kissing on Abdoun Circle. I'm guessing these days it's more than just that odd couple.
I haven't been to Amman in a couple of years but I hear a lot from my friends about popular hangout places and such: "Cubbles Only". If you're expected by society to be part of a relationship with a person of the opposite sex, then the ensuing consequences should be no surprise.

#3
Mohanned
Said
On: 4/25/2007 8:45:44 AM

People should be able to get rooms at any place, We should create virtual rooms on demand!!It is just disgusting, like animals!!They call it freedom, globaliztion or whatever, I call it returning to our animal origins(Just a metaphor, I believe in god, not in evelution)..But maybe some of them just want to feel the rush, maybe ego is involoved; trying to satisfy the look-at-me "need"!!
There can be lots of explanation but in all it just like animals..

#4
Isam
Said
On: 4/25/2007 10:47:36 AM

let's be frank !

when u make out in public ... something about it makes u feel special ... i know ppl might say oooh whats he talkin abt ... but this is human nature ... bragging and showing off is built in us ...

and u can always look the other way ... unless ur in a hot spot where everybody is making out ... get the hell out !!

and LOL for the defintion of making out : "colloquial term or euphemism " ... as u will get that if u dont know what making out is ...

Showing off showing off ... like to do it hate to see it !

#5
Qwaider
Said
On: 4/25/2007 10:55:10 AM

But does this make the lady feel appreciated? How do everyone else look at her? What's the first thing that would jump to their mind AFTER "hey, I'm next"?

We as humans have evolved to respect this privacy, from the days of the pack when everyone used to see and do what everyone else is doing. This is one thing that separates us from animals on the path of enlightenment.

As I said, it's like a highway wreck, you just can't help not looking!

#6
Verbal Alchemy
Said
On: 4/25/2007 11:46:36 AM

urine vs saliva.. hmm. lol i actually dont think i ever appreciated PDA, but if i were in a foreign country to be the frank-est i can be and im with my hubby w we saw something or he said something that moved me i will make out akid. NOT for the purpose of having ppl watching and getting the "thrill" of "hey we can get caught" no but inno the moment is right and noone is bothered lol thats the nicest thing i reckon in the west, noone minds ur business but u.

#7
Mariam Ayyash
Said
On: 4/25/2007 4:21:25 PM

verbal, thats probably why they have aids! they stopped bothering...

#8
Luai
Said
On: 4/25/2007 4:51:56 PM

At the pub the other day a couple was just all over one another and I mean all over. Personally, I don't mind it much and actually don't care to look...but you just can't miss it sometimes. And God, the ball game was on!!! WHAT WAS HE THINKING!!!! :-) Seriously though, they had their hands and mouths all over the place and it was getting really disgusting. They were sitting at the bar, elevated above everyone and in the direct line of sight of the TV. You couldn't miss them. Not sure what they where thinking or that they even noticed 50 people were looking at the TV behind them or in some cases directly at them...but to each their own. The causual hand holding and kiss differs greatly from the full blown making out and sucking face. That should be taken to the car or at least some dark corner or else you may find that have an audience.

#9
The Observer
Said
On: 4/25/2007 4:56:50 PM

People should have the right to do what ever they want as long as they are not disturbing the freedom of others. So what if they are making out in public? You can simply move your eyes off them and move on your way.

#10
sam
Said
On: 4/25/2007 5:26:23 PM

holding hands, and little kiss here and there is cute..but a fully blown out making out session is just disgusting..and they are distrubing our freedom...our freedom to look anywhere we want and the freedom to keep our kids innocence for as long as we can....one time a very stupid couple was caught having sex right beside a play ground...o but we were covered with a blanket. what the hell were they thinking, was it a turn on for them to makeout this close to kids playing? and they abvoiusly planned since they had a blanket with them...which is supposed to make it ok.....

#11
Mohanned
Said
On: 4/25/2007 6:41:09 PM

Observer,
I have a freedom of walking out with out the need to see animals reproducing in the streets, I have the right not to show my kids this kind of disgusting behaviour, I have a right to enjoy the beauty of nature not how nature is created!!You will say this doesn't affect the community, well, you have lots of perverts out there that will be provoked by this action, which may lead to unneeded actions that will only hurt the community. Being all over each other in the public will make them less respectable just like animals on the loose that can't control their hormons..I am not going to do anything about it but I will just give them that look of disgust..And by the way there are lots of place where you can take a dump and no one will see you , so If someone want to be in nature while making love go out there in the bushes and have as mush fun as you want, only animals and birds will be watching you!!!

#12
Faten
Said
On: 4/25/2007 9:26:09 PM

You know... the coolest thing, if the guy is hot and he's making out and looking at the chicks around ... probably looking for inspiration, or to show off!

#13
Rebellious Arab Girl
Said
On: 4/26/2007 3:14:02 AM

reminds me of an article I wrote a couple of months ago

http://www.rebelliousarabgirl.net/?p=564

#14
The Observer
Said
On: 4/26/2007 9:02:52 AM

Muhannad, I disagree :)

You would still have the freedom to look anywhere you want. If something disturbs your sight, you can just look on the other side. it isn't like they are covering your whole sight where you cant see anything else. Then I find it a bit selfish for us to ask people not to do something they desire just because it hurts our sight, or because we are not used to see it, or think that it isn't right.

#15
Hala
Said
On: 4/26/2007 10:30:37 AM

Hehehe, I actually hate it when some 13 year-olds do it. You know they are barely old enough to realize what it means, yet you find them all over each other finding it really hard to control themselves. Well they need to be disciplined alright.

#16
Mariam Ayyash
Said
On: 4/26/2007 6:40:45 PM

observer, u know what ur saying is like: a man murdered another man and splashed some blood all over his white shirt, his wife knowing that he murdered another reproaches him for HIS DIRTY SHIRT! kissing in public is just that dirty shirt man, u know they dont do it unless there is a 34993 years of experience behind it, or a 5983 reasons to go on with it, or 29940 aspirations to look forward after it... kissing is not the issue, kissing is nothin, in amman, we used to give looks to those holding hands knowing they are engaged, because to us thats like: what u guys, cant u control urselves? ur about to get married, STOP MAKING IT OKAY for others... and there lies the problem. honestly, i dont think married people bother to publicly display their affections! who cares ya3ni?!

#17
Qwaider
Said
On: 4/26/2007 6:56:56 PM

Mariam,
Interesting point Mariam, Married people seem to be the only people these days that DON'T make out in public (unless they're showing off) Or more particularly, the MAN is showing off in front of young chicks!
But I don't think that's the reason for Aids

Hala,
You know, i would excuse a 13 year old who can't control themselves. But what about the 25 year old geezer doing that in front of kids, and other people? In such a disgusting insensitive and completely impolite way. Did I mention some were staring at people!!?

The Observer,
I think there are many displays of freedom that are socially acceptable. But if there were minors involved, many have agreed to try and avoid exposing them to excessive amount of violence and sex at an early age. And these are educators, psychologists and a lot of research has been put into the effect of this exposure on minors. Even in the movies they apply the rating system to face such an issue.
Now being in public means? People might be doing some "Rated R" actions, when there are kids that are not ready for that. Who's violating who's freedom now?

Rebellious Arab Girl,
Yep, I know, you're a smart gal :)

Mohannad,
LOL@ Reproducing animals

Sam,
Yes, absolutely, No one said anything about subtle gestures and signs of affection in a conservative romantic way. In fact, such acts are encouraged. They build a level of trust, relief, security and affinity to the people. But more than the PG13 stuff is really, not socially acceptable.

TheObserver #2
True, as long as they're not disturbing the freedom of others. I do have the choice not to look. I agree. But as I said, it's like a highway accident, you can't pass by it and not look at it, no matter how ugly!

Luai,
That's the problem. Sometimes we don't even have a choice not to look

Verbal Alchemy
I guess you follow the Arabic saying "The city where people don't know you.... [do what ever you please]" (البلد اللي ما بيعرفك حدافيها ... ....)

#18
Mohanned
Said
On: 4/26/2007 7:02:12 PM

Observer,
There is no logic behind your argument, you gave them the ownership of the public area, which is "public", and I can't tell my children hey don't look, they will say why? If it is wrong why they are doing it in "public"? If we are talking about animals here then I agree, in february we always hear the cats MAKING OUT, and we get disgusted by that, I don't know about you, but I findd it disturbing even though they are cats..So to assume that 2 people can do what ever they want and 90% of the other people just have to look away is not logical..Is it ok with you if I take a dump in the middle of abdoun cirlce, it is natural, and you can look away!!But with the smell I can't help you:D
I think you get my point, so for people who do that, take your Sh!t and find a bush and do whatever you like in the nature, after all it is nature that made you "make out" in public, and the bushes are for creatures with instincts and no intellignece!!

#19
The Observer
Said
On: 4/27/2007 11:21:45 AM

I guess it is just a matter of familiarity. When I first saw two cats making out, I feel disgusted, but who I am to tell them not to? I can just move on with my way.

I have no idea what muhannad's example of murder has to do with this. It is very different.

As for Qwaider's argument about young kids seeing that. I am not sure how bad it is, and what level of making out we are talking about, and what age is accepted and what age is not.

As for the argument of society building rules not accept such behaviour. It is obvious that these rules are changing, and people are enjoying more freedom of expressing their sexuality in public.

#20
Mariam Ayyash
Said
On: 4/27/2007 12:34:19 PM

ma7addeish fehem 3alay... unbelievable :s

bagool, that kissing in public is just a shell, trust me if things are so disconnected i wouldnt mind kissing in public, but we are all smarter than that, can we look a little deeper? a little further? qwaider i did not say kissing causes aids! i said not bothering is what get aids to consume these people, just like observer insists on saying that people are starting to "enjoy more freedom in expressing their sextuality" only a fool would think it stops right there, because it DOESNT... proof? in europe people are more aqcunted with PDS in arab lands they are not... reason, in europe sex is free in arab lands its not... does that tell u anything? i dont want my community to be comfortable with PDA because i do NOT WISH for sex to be free! and isnt that what keeps aids from going on?

as for exposing kids, my "fitra" tells me that if ur too ashamed to show it to kids, u should not show it anyone, wa ella then porn is okay for adults! so the argument that we should not do it in public because there are kids, is bogus! we should not be doing it infront of ANYONE! its a sacred relationship between man and wife

#21
Qwaider
Said
On: 4/27/2007 5:08:54 PM

It's obvious that there are good arguments on both sides. I feel more ethically gravitating towards decency and protecting young kids from being exposed. But I also don't want to be turned on in public by other people's acts! I too have hormones and I might not really appreciate that form of arousal at that time.

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