Blog 4 Jordan Day

Visitor of the day


  • You
    from

Brag Stats

  • Comments:25,004
  • Articles:2,000
  • Article Hits:12,459,805
  • Unique Visitors:2,000,438
  • Rss Subscribers:3,052
  • Comment Subscribers:2,530
  • Spammers:136,315
  • Generated :757,671 spams
  • Monitoring:3,942,477 spam IPs
Powered by Qwaider Shield

Recent Comments

Check out the latest pictures on Sweetestmemories

« Functionality vs Policing standardsطز بالتعليم، و طز بالحب، و طز بالاسرة »

Arab desperate housewives

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Sunday, June 11, 2006 11:11:26 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (13282) times

    • Currently 4.6/5 Stars.
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5

    Rated 4.6/5 stars (258 votes cast) Thanks for your vote!

    I'm sure many of you are well aware of the show "Desperate housewives" aired just about everywhere these days. But has any one notices the mushrooming numbers of real desperate Arab housewives out there. Sure it's not as blatant and forward as it is in the west (Viewed as a right most of the time), nevertheless it's growing and at an alarming rate, who do you blame?

    dh

    Everyday, I hear more and more people complaining about discovering their spouses on the Internet, chatting with strangers and divulging intimate details about their lives. Some even caught chat logs, voice messages and more. Many I hear guard their mailboxes like they're hanging for dear life

    I can understand and appreciate maintaining a little privacy and individuals in the relationship, but guarding their hotmail boxes like it's a state secret might be a bit too much.

    Some have complained that they even caught their spouses in the act of either having prolonged graphical chats with perfect strangers (or non strangers). These may develop to phone calls, encounters and even worse. Some other relationships develop and become even more complicated love triangles that strangle the whole family.

    I personally attribute these growing problems to a number of factors

    • House wives have too much on their hand
    • The Internet, provides a fertile ground for predators to feed on people's frustrations. Especially when targeting someone when they're most vulnerable due to family issues
    • The fact that many individuals are not completely satisfied with their marriage relationships and seek out to fill the void only to fall in the traps of someone else
    • The feeling that anything you say or do on the Internet is like doing it virtually, and not actually and therefore it's like a game, of passion, hide-and-seek with all the adrenaline that comes with it.
    • The husbands being too involved in their jobs trying to provide for their families leading them to spend extra hours at work neglecting their homes and their needs
    • The silo civilization that we're getting closer and closer to. When our parents and grand parents used to know the whole neighbourhood or even the town, current couple barely know their next door neighbour, leading to simple things that used to keep housewives entertained and occupied (like tea or breakfast with the neighbors) and substituting all that with being online chatting with strangers
    • The disappearance of a society support system to help elevate the day to day chores of the family. When our ancestors used to live at an arm's length from their families (and sometimes sharing a dwelling) the modern family lives farther and farther from their extended families, some thousands of miles away leading to feelings of loneliness and emptiness
    • More and more western influence where infidelity is not looked down upon as�it it is in the middle east.
    • Women are viewing flirting as a cool thing and not so taboo since nothing is wrong with that. Since they're young and pretty and need to feel attractive and what better way?

    I'm telling you these things are home wreckers. An overexcited frustrated young man can (and usually will) say and do anything and everything to a female to gain her trust. While taking advantage of the courtship she provides. He might turn a blind eye to the fact that she's already in a relationship. This might include but not limited to promises of taking care of her after a divorce or if her significant other leaves her. Most if not all lie about this fact, for few reasons. Some of which are the fact that how would you trust someone who cheated on their first relationship with you? How can you afford such a relationship since you lied about almost everything about you. The fact that some of these young males come from families that might not bless a union with a woman with a past [But that's a different issue we'll talk about later], And many other reasons

    I would like to summarize a bunch of indicators that may help identify impending issues,

    • The couple is spending too much time away from each other (due to work, tiredness, loss of interest, kids ..etc)
    • Each or one of the couples is spending extended amount of time on the computer
    • Each or one of the couples is staying up too late hogging the laptop or at their desk
    • Each or one of the couples keeps one or more email accounts totally secret from the their significant other and guarding their access with their life
    • One or both are spending extended amount of time chatting with people
    • One or both are making sure the other person doesn't know who they're chatting with

    There are many other indicators for these issues, both need to keep an eye on the signs. and make sure the other person knows and understands any frustrations or problems they're going through. Communicating through heart to heart dialogue is the best way to remove these obstacles and if this doesn't work, marriage counseling might be the next step. The worst thing you can do is trust your significant other blindly. Keep an open eye, while continuing to trust the person. Give them the benefit of a doubt and if you have any doubts, bring it up with them. As openly and as frankly as you can.

    Don't be afraid to face what's concerning you, before the issue proliferates and becomes unmanageable. And as they would say in medicine, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"

    May you and your loved ones live a long and a happy life, a happy and lasting relationships take a lot of hard-work, dedication and investment in time and money. Don't let the day to day struggle hinder your vision from what your family needs the most. YOU

    Other Memories Documented on June 11
    « Functionality vs Policing standardsطز بالتعليم، و طز بالحب، و طز بالاسرة »

    Memories....

    • #1
    • salam
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/11/2006 11:55:21 AM
    I am glad you are saying eac/and one of since the title only seems to be blaming women.Not to be a feminist,but I can be more than certain that more men than women are getting involved in extra marital relationships wether real or cyber space stuff,especially in the arab world,where men definitely have much more freedom and ability to move around and interact with others more than their wives.A story worth mentioning is that which was published last year of a divorced couple in zarqa-Jordan who after getting a divorce,met each other online,not knowing their true identities and decided to meet only to find that he has been making out online  with the same woman he rejected in the real world.Was she a different person in the anonymity of a chat room?an independant woman with an opinion of her own that she was allowed to voice out maybe?or was he a better listener when the other side was not a taken-for-granted wife who was supposed to listen and obey orders ? It takes two to tango,let's not forget that!
    Before I finished reading your comment, I was going to say "It takes two to tango" funny!
    The reason I started with women is that they're usually the more reserved in the couple. The more attached to home and family and more unlikely to venture on an extramarital relationship. As for men, it's a lost cause, no need to bead a dead horse I guess. That doesn't mean all men are like that. But it came to pass as a yeah-whatever-what's-new kind of thing regarding men.
    I hope you got my point :)
    • #3
    • Danah
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/11/2006 12:50:11 PM
    I would also add another factor to what you have stated above that is less domination of morals on peoples behavior and thinking , also not considering that each action has a reaction as a result ( in other words , if one cheated on their spouse , they shouldn't be expecting a totally clean get out of that , there will be consequences sooner or later ) many married people who would look for a fling away from their spouse seem to suffer a missing moral barrier  that keeps them from reaching strangers and having them involved in their marital problems or disappointments . In any relationship, problems, disappointments have to evolve, and they are always expected, no life is perfect! However, seeking a third party that has no good reason to be involved is a mistake, and a huge one! Marital problems should only be solved between the couple, if failed an external help can be sought, but with the approval of both parties or at least with someone who is a known family member or a friend that can offer help.  
    Or as I would say, Trusted, prefereably knowledgeable professional
    asalam 3alaykom..bow:)
    this is your best post ever..thank you..
    well said, this is an important topic thanks 4 bringing it up...
    there are alot of aspects that i cannot put together in a comment...
    it is very important that a person doesnt take his partner 4 granted and takes the signs or issues seriously instead of letting them grow like cancer...
    • #7
    • omar
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/11/2006 3:50:19 PM
    Well, each housewife is dealing with problems which makes her quite desperate. (About the show)

    You said nothing new, you're bringing up this whole "home-wrecking" issues discussed by many more.

    I watched the first season,
    it's a weird weird show....

    omar
    Thanks "TheCaller", check the blogRoll you're on it. So is Lammoush

    Now regarding Lammoush's comment, Don't you think that is making it so hard? what I mean is that spousal relationship should be all about love, trust, caring, humility, sharing all the good things. One of them is the piece of mind that the other person is yours and yours only till death do you apart. That is "exactly" what taking someone for granted is. Continuously working on a relationship to make it work is extremely exhausting and just plain foolish, because apparently it's not worth it. If some one's marriage takes all their effort just to keep it going then they're divorced and they don't even know it!
    Relationships do need a lot, but the idea is to give a lot and receive alot. And sometimes you need to feel that someone loves you unconditionally, no matter what happens. Even if the whole world was against you. Someone you want to feel that there is only ONE person that you can take for granted and you will not be disappointed. Can we say this about 10% of the couples these days? I doubt we'll hit the 10%
    Hey Omar, thanks for stopping by :)
    Many people talked about the universe before copernicus and galileo. Didn't stop them. Every person brings his own set of skills, experience, vision, insight and intelligence in their posts. Some will hit areas not handled by others. Some might not. Unfortunately, I didn't read the other posts on this, so my bad. But you see, when i sit and write these things, I really pour things out of my mind, I don't just run around the Internet trying to find places I can compile things from. So, you're reading something 100% original dude. Enjoy it :)
    C'mon Qwaider. You've got a bunch of stereotypes about the "West" and a bunch of stereotypes about women. You can do better.
    asalam 3alaykom....
    thank you so much for adding me to your blogroll..so smart of you..hehehe
    another thing:I'm backing you up on every word you said for lammoush and your reply on omar's..
    wise.....
    I realy wish and pray that allah may bless you with such a marriage...
    It's not hard to find you know..
    allah gave that to me at a time i didn't feel i deserve it..and thank allah i found my lost soul within it and i feel complete and healed after struggeling all my life..
    i totally agree with u, what u said would b great, and thats how it should b by the way, although most ppl are not like that.
    what i meant by not taking things 4 granted is when a person keeps doing wrong things "while being aware of that" and thinking: ((my partner loves me so much, its ok 2 hurt her/him!! because they tehy r here 2 stay!!))
    and ofcourse being in a relationship where u have 2 keep an eye open on ur partner who doesnt seem trust-worthy is simply not a relationship but an endless headache and pain.
    there should b trust, comfort, honesty, and also open communication so they can solve small issues and not let them get in their way. being a best freind, a soulmate in addition 2 spuose.
    • #13
    • nissa
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 8/17/2009 3:48:28 AM
    • SpamScore=[2]
    حلي أم حسوفه
    أي ضد تري إنجش هي إز نيس فيري secretif
    • #14
    • nissa
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 8/17/2009 3:59:31 AM
    • SpamScore=[0.98]
    هي وص غد ون و جو تو لندن مي هسبند سبند تم إن كازينو توني منجر أف هوتيل هي صليب وذ م
    You too can have your Memories Documented

    Country:

    HTML has been disabled but if you wish to add any hyprlinks or text formating you can use any of the following codes: [B]bold text[/B], [I]italic text[/I], [U]underlined text[/U], [S]strike through text[/S], [URL]http://www.yourlink.com[/URL], [URL=http//www.yourlink.com]your text[/URL]

    Whisper (your comment will not be displayed)

    Please refer to Commenting policy


    Notify me of follow-up comments by email
    « Functionality vs Policing standardsطز بالتعليم، و طز بالحب، و طز بالاسرة »
    Read by:
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(101)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(25)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guests(20)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(46)-
  • |
  • Guests(110)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(510)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(41)-
  • |
  • Guests(504)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(15)-
  • |
  • Guests(8)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(15)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guests(96)-
  • |
  • Guests(19)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(28)-
  • |
  • Guests(32)-
  • |
  • Guests(260)-
  • |
  • Guests(230)-
  • |
  • nissa-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(9)-
  • |
  • Guests(24)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(13)-
  • |
  • Guests(22)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(349)-
  • |
  • Guests(13)-
  • |
  • Guests(21)-
  • |
  • Guests(24)-
  • |
  • Guests(33)-
  • |
  • Khaled-
  • |
  • Lost Within-
  • |
  • Guests(27)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(45)-
  • |
  • Guests(33)-
  • |
  • Moey-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(9)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guests(29)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(9)-
  • |
  • Guests(28)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(24)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(10)-
  • |
  • Guests(21)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(18)-
  • |
  • Guests(142)-
  • |
  • Guests(14)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(7)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(21)-
  • |
  • Guests(57)-
  • |
  • Guests(22)-
  • |
  • Guests(13)-
  • |
  • Guests(8)-
  • |
  • Guests(16)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(214)-
  • |
  • Guests(57)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(77)-
  • |
  • Guests(17)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(12)-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(7)-
  • |
  • Guests(15)-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guests(94)-
  • |
  • Guests(17)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(158)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Faisal-
  • |
  • Guests(8835)-
  • |
  • Maioush-
  • |
  • Guests(25)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(12)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(48)-