If you forgive

By: Qwaider

On:Sunday, January 21, 2007 8:21:05 PM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (5243) times

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When was the last time you turned the other cheek? When was the last time that you forgave someone for no reason? When was the last time that resolved a grudge?

It's such an uplifting and liberating to forgive. It's one of those activities that will always pay back. As you distance your self more and more from hatred and stubbornness you start to realize how small this silly certain positions could be

Fact is, your best friend isn't the best person in the world. And your worst enemy isn't the worst person in the world. Everything we feel is relative to the limitations of our own personalities. Had we known more we would have definitely chosen differently

It's interesting to look deep at the root cause of a conflict. It might no longer be relevant to what the whole situation has proliferated to. But it does help to study history. Even if all you get from it is a way to stop yourself from making the same mistakes or actions that lead to a mistake. Or events that led someone else to fall in a mistake. In effect, anything related to your influence that could have gone better.

As we look into the root of the matter, we usually realize that it was something like a clash, misinformation (deliberate or otherwise), misunderstanding, prejudice or a combination. But the greatest revelation would be how tiny the origin is.

We as humans tend to be relative in the way we view things. In the heat of the moment, everything seem to be life and death, but after we calm down we discover that our eyes and minds have magnified the issue, later on, we might discover that we were manipulated to think the way we did, or that we were wrong.

A large percentage realize that they're wrong, but often too self absorbed and ashamed to the point that it's never admitted. Even on the subconscious level. The few that realize their mistakes may sometimes forgive, others try to more proactive and seek forgiveness.

One thing is certain, forgiveness is sweet. It's the ultimate revenge. It's uplifting and extremely fulfilling and liberating from the lower existence that we all live in. I doubt anyone can forgive absolutely, but the greater we do it, the closer to god we get.

و ان تعفوا اقرب للتقوى
To forgive, is closer to piety (righteousness)

العفو من خصال القوي، فالضعيف لا يصفح ابدا
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong (Gandhi)

ان تخطيء من الانسان، ان تعفوا فمن الرب
To err is human, to forgive divine (Alexander Pope)

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Memories....

#1
manal y
Said
On: 1/21/2007 8:41:42 PM

dima talked about regreting and now you are talking about forgiving, that is too much for me for one day...things like this makes me think and re-evaluate myself,

let me stop here cause i know once i start ill keep on going and going and in all directions

#2
Maioush
Said
On: 1/21/2007 9:16:54 PM

i totally agree with you Q.. actually; Part of our being human is that we make mistakes, no body is perfect. Sometime we make mistakes without deliberation and intention. But sometime we deliberately sin and do wrong to others. It is said, “to err is human and to forgive is divine.” Both parts of this statement are very true. As human beings we are responsible, but we do also make mistakes and we are constantly in need of forgiveness.
as u said, It's such an uplifting and liberating to forgive. Forgiveness requires good social skills. High forgivers seemed more empathetic and warm, expressing more positive emotions towards others, including those who hurt them.

#3
Dima
Said
On: 1/22/2007 1:41:12 AM

'I doubt anyone can forgive absolutely'... I DEFINITELY doubt it... the deeper the pain is the harder it is to forgive or forget (as i believe those both comes together in a way or another)

#4
Qwaider
Said
On: 1/22/2007 1:47:27 AM

I doubt they're 100% related. You can have one but not the other ... think about it ...

#5
secratea
Said
On: 1/22/2007 2:11:49 AM

Q,I agree with all what you say. It is totally true that forgiving is uplifting and liberating; however, I can forgive a person to a certain limits, and then just can’t forgive any more, especially when the hurt caused by that person is real and deep.

#6
Qwaider
Said
On: 1/22/2007 3:19:25 AM

Absolutely ... I'm not talking forgiveness is an absolute as Dima also said. There is a limit for forgiveness ..

#7
Maioush
Said
On: 1/22/2007 3:37:54 AM

thank u for adding the name for the saying.. i forgot who said it :)
Alexander pope i'll remember that next time

#8
Qwaider
Said
On: 1/22/2007 3:40:59 AM

By the way, He was mentioned in "The Da Vinci code"

#9
Maioush
Said
On: 1/22/2007 3:46:23 AM

well, i haven't seen that movie yet, i guess it will be the first one to watch ofter i feel better.

#11
Naryat
Said
On: 1/22/2007 11:38:11 AM

Y3ni I am speechless...
Your words are so deep...
The great problem is when we consider ourselves to be the references...
What we like is not the ultimate right, and what we hate is not the ultimate evil...
ViVa La QwIeDeR... :-)

#12
Dima
Said
On: 1/22/2007 9:34:36 PM

I believe they are strongly related! It's hard to forgive if the pain is not forgotten and the memory is still alive and bitter.

And without forgiveness it's hard to move on with life and to be able to put it all behind and forget the taste of that pain!

it's a closed cycle... you see

#13
Qwaider
Said
On: 1/22/2007 10:28:09 PM

Not sure I agree Dima, although I do see that you have a valid point. But it doesn't consider all the situations. Sometimes we forgive and not forget. It's hard to forget the pain and suffering that someone inflected on us. This is the point I'm trying to make
Sometimes we forget about the whole deal, but if we're reminded by it, we sometimes remember that we never did forgive

I think it depends on the matter, certain things are easier to forget than others. Others are impossible to forget.

#14
4 gotton
Said
On: 3/22/2008 4:06:03 AM

THIS IS THE SADDEST AND MOST HORRIBLE TIME OF MY LIFE. I HAVE NOT ANY ANSWER FOR WHAT MAKES PEOPLE LIKE ANIMALS THAT USE ABUSE AND TAKE WHAT THEY WANT AND DUMP YOU LIKE YOU ARE LEFT FOR THE DOGS TO EAT.WHAT MAKES A MAN A MAN WHEN HE IS INCOMPLETE? THE ENDLESS SORROWS OF YESTERDAY PLAY AT THE CORNERS OF MY MIND. THE EMPTINESS KNOWING ONLY ONE THING AND THAT IS YOU WILL BE ALONE FOR THE LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT. FADED HOPES LOST DREAMS BROKEN PROMISES LAST UNFILLED WISHES. AM I ONLY A PRISONER FOR THE EVIL THAT EXISTS? TEARS OF PAIN IM ONLY DYING A SLOW DEATH MY HEART CAN SEE ONLY A FEW DAYS OF JOY LEFT. I AM WASTING TO NOTHING AND THATS ALL HE WANTED FROM ME.HOW CAN ANY ONE LIVE WITH THEMSELF KNOWING THEY DESTROYED THE OTHERS LIFE,

#15
4 gotton
Said
On: 3/22/2008 4:11:04 AM

HOW CAN ANY PERSON FORGIVE ANOTHER WHEN THEY TOOK THEIR HEART OUT AND STEPPED UPON IT?HOW CAN ANYONE HAVE A HOPE IN ANYTHING WHEN THEY KNOW VERY WELL YOU HAVE NOTHING? HOW CAN ANYONE TURN HIS BACK AT YOU KNOWING YOU ARE SICK AND WEAK? HOW CAN ANYONE USE YOUR OWN RELIGION TO GAIN A PAPER OR A TARGET OF SORTS? HOW CAN THEY CALL THEMSELF A HUMAN?

#16
Qwaider
Said
On: 3/22/2008 4:17:57 AM

emmmm ... huh?

#17
4 gotton
Said
On: 3/23/2008 4:52:32 AM

I LOOKED AROUND AND YOU WERE NOT HERE
I TRIED TO LOOK EVERYWHERE
MY EYES GREW TIRED WITH ONLY FEAR
MY HANDS TREMBLED THINGS WERE NOT CLEAR
I WAS DYING A SLOW DEATH OF SHAME
LOST IN YOUR LOVE AND ITS YOU I BLAME
YOU TOOK MY SPIRIT AS YOU GAVE ME YOUR LIES
YOU SOLD MY LIFE I WAS YOUR DEPISE
I WALKED WITH YOU IN THE SHADOWS OF GRACE
ALL I KNEW WAS I LOVE YOU IT WAS ON MY FACE
MY HEART GREW BROKEN AS THE WINDS HAVE CHANGED
MY THOUGHTS WERE INCOMPLETE MY LIFE REARRANGED
ALL I HAVE IS YOUR PICTURE AND YOUR SECRET NAME
ALL I HAVE IS THE MEMORY OF YOUR FACE
SLOWLY FADED WITH DISGRACE
EVERYTHING MISSES YOU AND THE WORDS YOU TOLD ME
I HAVE ONLY THE WHISPERS IN THE NIGHT TO HOLD ME
AS I WAIT FOR YOU DAY AND NIGHT
I CHERISH THE SMALL TOKENS OF YOUR LOVE
DRIFTING SLOWLY TO THE TEARS OF FEARS
NEVER KNOWING WHEN MY END IS NEAR
REMEMBER ME WHEN IM GONE AND NEVER FORGET THAT I GAVE UP EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU
FOR IT IS I WHO LOVED YOU WITHOUT A REASON
A CONCLUSION OR A SUBSTANCE
ONLY FOR YOUR EXSISTANCE
WAS I CONSISTANT