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Rage, he dumped me first!

By: Qwaider

On:Friday, December 29, 2006 2:26:38 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (7246) times

Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.5/5 stars (225 votes cast)

I was talking to a good friend of mine who's been in a shaky relationship for the past 6 months. She was furious and absolutely enraged, that her (now ex) boyfriend dumped her. When she said less than 2 days ago that she decided to dump him... But why is she really upset?

She's furious that he dumped her. She's been thinking about it for over a month now, and they've been on and off for the majority of the 6 months they've been dating.

I can see she's taking it very painfully. She did sincerely try to make it work, so did he. But since the decision came from his side, she got mad.

I wonder why are we humans like that. The minute we decide to give something up, we don't feel that we care that much about it. But if that very thing was taken from us by force, we get mad, upset and really heartbroken (if that thing was of sentimental value)

I guess this stems from the fact that we're all possessive ... We want it all, we want to have it all. And we want to be the one doing the dumping not the ones getting dumped.

I'm not sure what sinful satisfaction taking the initiative gives people, but apparently it's worth something. Or people wouldn't be so upset.

I think the worst kinds of break ups is the one where the person who gave so much, gets dumped. I've seen many like that, and with catastrophic results for the poor soul.

So, my last words on this are ... Don't cry for what has passed for tomorrow will bring a better future, better luck and other opportunities

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« في الاحضان

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Memories....

#1
secratea
Said
On: 12/29/2006 3:13:28 AM

Well, it isn't a matter of possession, it is all about power. When you dump someone, especially when you no longer have those sentimental feelings towards him/her, you can go out brag about the power you had in choosing your own position. it is mainly about power.

#2
laila
Said
On: 12/29/2006 3:16:09 AM

I dont think she was upset because she felt that she 'possesed' him, but simply that she felt rejected, and a person's self esteem can rarely handle that. Even we are rejected by people we do not like, we get upset!

#3
Qwaider
Said
On: 12/29/2006 9:02:22 AM

I totally agree with both of you. It could be a power struggle, and it could be the bitter feelings of rejection. It might have several other dimensions.
But one fact remains, who ever initiates it gives the negative feelings and emotions to the other person - somehow!

#4
secratea
Said
On: 12/29/2006 9:35:30 AM

I just discovered that blogs are fun to read! It is the first time I come across yours, there is lots i would have wanted to comment on (especially your old poetry; universal i call it! :)), but no problem. el'7air fe eljayeeen! Good Luck ;)

#5
Qwaider
Said
On: 12/29/2006 9:42:45 AM

Feel free to comment on anything you like, old or new, the good thing about this commenting system that I have is that regardless of how old the post, it still shows the recent comments, and I would love to still hear from people regarding everything here.
comment away :)

#7
Qwaider
Said
On: 12/29/2006 10:02:16 AM

This is the only place to post comment Secratea, the stuff in quickies is for meebo, an online chat tool. I will still get it if you post it there. But under each article makes it more relevant

#8
secratea
Said
On: 12/29/2006 10:12:38 AM

Ok, then ignore the meebo comments I sent..lol I just was trying things out, just trying to see how things function :D
Now, you said that the initiator of the action gives the negative feelings to the other person, and maybe that is why our girl here felt bad, what about the initiator him/herself? do you think they feel bad afterwards? It is not fair if they don't!

#9
Qwaider
Said
On: 12/29/2006 10:40:59 AM

With social interactions, there are no winners or losers. Everyone is affected. Some feel better, some feel worse. But they feel something.
I guess, no matter how hard people try, someone is going to get hurt if not everyone