Empowering young Women

Amani, is a young wife, 20 years old. Married to an well educated, and well groomed PhD student and hired and employed by a very huge corporate in the USA

Amani married 6 months ago, dropped out of school in Amman, to follow her dream of getting married to an open minded, educated person who would help her to overcome the situation of her struggling family in Amman.

Less than 6 months after the wedding, Raed starts to go back on his promises of sending her to collage. While her family has little to no say in the matter. They can not force the husband to fulfill his side of the agreement. Nor are they interested in ruining her infant marriage.

After being asked by her father and brother to mediate in this matter, I had a long heart to heart discussion with Raed, and it was clear that there are many factors to the issue. Most importantly financial. The cost of education in the US have sky rocketed in the past decade to a point that even with such a high income as his he couldn't really afford it. But that was not all.

Raed, had an issue with allowing his bride to go out and attend classes. For two main reasons. The first was out of jealousy over the wife going out and meeting other young men during class. And the second one was out of fear that she wouldn't be able to keep up with her marital duties.

No matter how absurd this argument is, it is still a very serious issue. Not only is this matter casting it's heavy shadows over the future of the young marriage. It also adds doubts and fears in the heart of the woman of the man's intentions.

A very common argument is "I don't want my wife to work, I make enough for the two of us". The problem is not how much a person makes. The issue is that this world is full of surprises and no one has the ability to guarantee the future, which may hold unfortunate problems like layoffs, sickness and god forbid death. Leaving the young wife alone in this world to fend for her self and her children. With nothing to help or support her.

One minor issue was that his fear of her growing nails and being able to fight him back in case he wants something or demanded something. Another absurd argument. Since the more knowledgeable a person is the more their value, and 2 good minds is way better then one excellent one living in the dark ages.

After long discussions, Raed agreed to consider the matter further. Being forced to think of the welfare of the wife, not only is she in need of this education, but she's dying of boredom in the US and resorted to spending too much time online and shopping to fill up her free time.

It was very easy to mention to him that she might end up finding and talking to someone online that might indulge her of dreams of getting her education if she left him.

From all this experience I came up with some ideas, generalizations that I think are true and valid

• A woman needs an education, it's a right not a privilege
• Men who agree with the family of the bride to take her to school SHOULD uphold their part of the agreement
• If the man is unable to financially support the wife's education, There is no problem in seeking assistance from her family. In fact, her family is as obligated as the husband
• Student loans are one of the best investments. They're there for a really good cause
• Families, should refrain from allowing their daughters from getting married when they've not yet finished their education. Not only that, she should have a Job and learn to be independent and earn her own income
• Married couples should look at themselves as an individual structure. And not let a good thing pass by because of fears of infidelity, since this can happen even behind closed doors
• Men seriously need to consider the potential and welfare of their families beyond their own life. Being selfish about this matter makes them really miss out on great chances like having an educated or working wife. 
• Women should understand that men may feel threatened by the status she might potentially achieve, therefore they really need to make sure to even out the play ground and hash out any feelings that may linger

This list can go on for ever, but many fail to see the value of having a well educated partner. Out of a personal experience.

My father was forced into the work market way before he graduated from High-school, yet he didn't stop there and took every opportunity to read and educate himself as much as he can. At the same time he continued to support and encourage my mother until she received her Masters degree and higher diploma. Not only that, he refused to consider ANY suitor proposing to his daughters as long as they're still attending collage. And ended up with 2 Master holder daughters and one Doctor, all achieved before marriage and continued after marriage even with the chores of a wife of house and children.

I see absolutely no reason, or justification for any woman to be left behind, education is a must. End of story