How to punish people you love
- By: Qwaider
- On:Tuesday, September 19, 2006 11:34:01 AM
- In:Thoughts
- Viewed: (5249) times
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So they screwed up, and you're furious about it. It hurts so much when someone close, someone that you love and trust does something intentionally, or unintentionally to upset you. And now it's retribution time, what do you do?
You can certainly crack the whip, and give them a few smackers. But what would that achieve? Would it make you feel better afterwards? Would you be satisfied? Doubt it.
So your best friend, wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father or anyone else that you love screwed up. How you deal with it, determines the health of the relationship, and what ever you do, will undoubtedly linger and bleed into the future.
If we don't learn to be tolerant with people we love, how are we going to deal with people we are indifferent towards or even dislike. As we all know, with every disaster there is an opportunity. An opportunity to solidify the relationship and to bond at a higher level. A chance to show how you care and how you would want to be treated
Lets face it, we all make mistakes, the severity of these mistakes vary from one person to the other. From one situation to the other. But one thing is certain, "We all make mistakes". Are we going to learn and improve because of them, or are we going to fall in the trap of drifting apart and end up strangers?
It takes one word for people you love to understand and repent, it takes one word for people you care about to be forgiven. Make it stop at that and move on. Forcing yourself and your loved ones into a vicious cycle of tit-for-tat will achieve absolutely nothing positive. And would harm the future of the relationship tremendously.
Don't go by cracking out ultimatums, and spewing demands "OR ELSE". Don't threaten you'll forget them, burn all their pictures and destroy all their email and letters. You might be able to delete those, but will you be able to delete history?
Oh, and don't fall for that "going on a breakup" crap. If anything it doesn't "teach them a hard lesson", it just shows them that they are dispensable, and make them afraid of the whole relationship, which is simple the cancer of any relationship.
Make the first move, turn the other cheek, forgive the people that you love ... forget their mishap .. and move on.
Of course, there are certain things that can't be undone, like cheating for example. But once the whole matter gets to this level, and the relationship is beyond salvaging. Remain civil and respectful, while severing the ties. Move on with you life knowing that you've done everything you can and they screwed up....... BIG TIME! Imagine if you were in their shoes, they would have done the same thing too.
No one is rich enough to lose a faithful friend, or a lover...
Memories....
i would say time will heal all...to a certain extent..eventually it will...ofcourse i canot deny there r things in life u simply canont forgive or forget about...it s all relavent to the mistake that lead to crack in the relationship, in the first place, dear...
thanx for the post, samer....
peace...
I think it takes an effort and a lot of practice to reach that balance between being tolerant and being firm in a relation ship.
Again, Excellent Post.
Just kidding ;)