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« Feast (2006)الرد على وداد »

How to punish people you love

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Tuesday, September 19, 2006 11:34:01 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (5249) times

    • Currently 4.4/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.4/5 stars (141 votes cast) Thanks for your vote!

    So they screwed up, and you're furious about it. It hurts so much when someone close, someone that you love and trust does something intentionally, or unintentionally to upset you. And now it's retribution time, what do you do?

    whip

    You can certainly crack the whip, and give them a few smackers. But what would that achieve? Would it make you feel better afterwards? Would you be satisfied? Doubt it.

    So your best friend, wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father or anyone else that you love screwed up. How you deal with it, determines the health of the relationship, and what ever you do, will undoubtedly linger and bleed into the future.

    If we don't learn to be tolerant with people we love, how are we going to deal with people we are indifferent towards or even dislike. As we all know, with every disaster there is an opportunity. An opportunity to solidify the relationship and to bond at a higher level. A chance to show how you care and how you would want to be treated

    Lets face it, we all make mistakes, the severity of these mistakes vary from one person to the other. From one situation to the other. But one thing is certain, "We all make mistakes". Are we going to learn and improve because of them, or are we going to fall in the trap of drifting apart and end up strangers?

    extend

    It takes one word for people you love to understand and repent, it takes one word for people you care about to be forgiven. Make it stop at that and move on. Forcing yourself and your loved ones into a vicious cycle of tit-for-tat will achieve absolutely nothing positive. And would harm the future of the relationship tremendously.

    Don't go by cracking out ultimatums, and spewing demands "OR ELSE". Don't threaten you'll forget them, burn all their pictures and destroy all their email and letters. You might be able to delete those, but will you be able to delete history?

    Oh, and don't fall for that "going on a breakup" crap. If anything it doesn't "teach them a hard lesson", it just shows them that they are dispensable, and make them afraid of the whole relationship, which is simple the cancer of any relationship.

    Make the first move, turn the other cheek, forgive the people that you love ... forget their mishap .. and move on.

    Of course, there are certain things that can't be undone, like cheating for example. But once the whole matter gets to this level, and the relationship is beyond salvaging. Remain civil and respectful, while severing the ties. Move on with you life knowing that you've done everything you can and they screwed up....... BIG TIME! Imagine if you were in their shoes, they would have done the same thing too.

    No one is rich enough to lose a faithful friend, or a lover...

    Other Memories Documented on September 19
    « Feast (2006)الرد على وداد »

    Memories....

    • #1
    • afaf
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2006 4:08:24 PM
    that reminded me of what i have gone through lately, i decided to do the worst thing in my life, wanted to mail them what i really felt and how badly i was hurt, but didnot...i simply gave my self time to cool of and them to cool off too...then the idea of the harsh mail disappeared and the idea of talking bad and show them how badly i was hurt disappeared...i cannot say it is back to normal...cuz this depends on how strong the bond is and the incident led to the crack in this bond... i canot say i am happy with what happned but at least i am not miserable cuz i didont go to the extreme to punish my loved ones... there r things in life u simply cannot erase or change...bond u cannot simply make disappear...u r right samer... u may erase memories but cannot erase history which took years to form...true, i agree to that a 100%...
    i would say time will heal all...to a certain extent..eventually it will...ofcourse i canot deny there r things in life u simply canont forgive or forget about...it s all relavent to the mistake that lead to crack in the relationship, in the first place, dear...
    thanx for the post, samer....
    peace...
    Well said Dr. Phil..I mean Dr. Qwaider!! Just kidding of course...I really hope that many people will adopt this way of thinking...specially the part about how to take the first step.

    I think it takes an effort and a lot of practice to reach that balance between being tolerant and being firm in a relation ship.

    Again, Excellent Post.
    A + , stellar post, you are scintillating. Let those pestilential people go to hell, we are better than them.
    • #4
    • TheSage
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2006 6:19:13 PM
    Very interesting Qwaider, I like your views these days.
    • #5
    • Sanfoura
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2006 6:27:13 PM
    Sometimes, I like to whip them till they bleed :)
    Just kidding ;)
    • #6
    • Sanfoura
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/19/2006 6:32:59 PM
    If only people can get learn to be tolerant
    Thanks Afaf, Bashar, TheSage, Sanfoura and Hatem ... Maybe these words would help someone find thier way
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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