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« Thank god for 4 wheel driveTake people for granted.... Take 2 »

Take people for granted

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Monday, September 11, 2006 11:50:35 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (18278) times

    • Currently 4.7/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.7/5 stars (335 votes cast)

    I hear this sentence a lot "Taking people for granted"... Is it really that bad?

    forever

    Every now and then people recite things they hear on TV shows. Never before has this been as common. For example, the use of "So" as in "You are SO going to regret this" which is a word coined by Mathew Perry in Friends, the popular TV show, and now you just hear it everywhere.

    The one I'm interested in talking about is "Taking something for granted". Often used for relationships. "Taking me for granted", "taking us for granted", "taking love for granted", "taking my friendship for granted" ... yada yada yada...

    But, if you love someone, wouldn't taking them for granted actually means something positive? Doesn't it mean that you know they are going to be there through thick and thin? Doesn't it mean that you can really depend on them? Or that no matter what happens, they will be on your side, come to your aid or simply Be there!

    Now, the culture of "What have you done for me lately" is prevailing to the point that it seriously making me sick. Why? because, what kind of friendship or a relationship that need to constantly go through trials and each party proving their worth over and over?

    If someone loves you, why do they constantly have to prove their love (for ladies this means, bringing "things", specifically, "expensive" things). Is this the guarantee that a lady gets to make sure that her man will not leave her? Or is the mentality of cave men and women still exist in this day and age. Men must "bring" things, to get things, like ... love?

    kobeWe all know what Kobe Bryant the famous NBA player did to win his wife's love when he was caught cheating on her. A big diamond ring! D'oh! Wouldn't she trade that for a simply taking him for granted and be positive that he's never going to cheat in the first place?

    We take our parents for granted. They show us unconditional love, no matter what we do, no matter how bad we are, no matter how ungrateful we get. They are there for us, they're always there for us. Why can't the relationships that we venture out to strike on our own be as deep and binding as that?

    My conclusion is simple, taking someone or something or someone taking you for granted is not necessarily a bad thing. It means that you're the anchor in their life, the rock that doesn't shake in the wind... The person who they can and will always depend on. So next time someone takes you for granted ... Be grateful...

    Other Memories Documented on September 11
    « Thank god for 4 wheel driveTake people for granted.... Take 2 »

    Memories....

    • #1
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/11/2006 12:07:37 PM
    No Comment !
    • #2
    • rasha
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/11/2006 12:34:19 PM
    و الله وجهة نظر يا قويدر... بس برضه مو معناته أنه الواحد ما يعبر عن مشاعره للطرف التاني من صحاب او ازواج او حتى اهل بين وقت و التاني، لأنه متل ما كل واح فينا محتاج اللي حواليه يعبرولو عن مشاعرهم هم بحتاجو يعبر عن مشاعره لألهم كمان!
    • #3
    • Someone
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/11/2006 12:46:56 PM
    Amen!
    • #4
    • Reem
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/11/2006 1:01:56 PM
    Well, Qwaider, i can see your point.. Taking someone or somebody forgranted can be good and can mean the nice things you mentioned above, but it can as well be very bad, when someone stops caring for thier partner/friend, start doing things they know it will hurt and never care about it coz they are sure of the love and devotion of the other party, then that is bad, it's bad when you abuse the love of others to do all the bad things while resting assured they wont give up on you coz the simply love you too much...
    for me, it's not about proving love or friendship, it's about respecting the sincere feelings i have for others and not abuse them...
    "We take our parents for granted. They show us unconditional love, no matter what we do, no matter how bad we are, no matter how ungrateful we get. They are there for us, they're always there for us" this is true, our prents are just very nice, but this doesnt mean that what we do is right... Sorry for this lengthy comment!
    While it's vitally important to have people you can absolutely trust in, I think the phrase "taking someone for granted" generally is used with a negative meaning: taking that trust, and doing something that will hurt the person because you know they will forgive you.  

    Sometimes it is an act of neglect, such as forgetting to tell someone how much you love and appreciate them (see Khalidah's recent post on "Love Languages").  
    More severe is doing something that will hurt someone because we know they will forgive us.  Kobe Bryant is a good example.  He cheated on his wife, knowing that she wouldn't leave him.  It was great that he could trust her unconditionally, but he betrayed that trust by what he chose to do.  

    Let's appreciate those people who have proved trustworthy in our lives, tell them how much we appreciate them, and treat them the way they deserve: by being equally trustworthy to them.
    ما بعرف برأيي أنه خير الأمور الوسط هلأ كيف بدنا نبين لربنا متلن أنه بنحبه أزا ما بنعبده وبنناجيه وبنعطيه من قلبنا؟المعادلة صعبة بس شي ومنه مو لدرجة الألماس أكيد ممكن بضمة ورد فيها زوق و شعور صافي بتعبر عن حبك أو تقديرك للاخرين.
    What I have to say about this would have been too big for a comment, so I decided to post about it and you can find it here is you are interested

    http://www.anolitasmind.com/2006/09/11/taking-thingspeople-for-granted
    What I have to say about this would have been too big for a comment, so I decided to post about it and you can find it here is you are interested

    http://www.anolitasmind.com/2006/09/11/taking-thingspeople-for-granted/
    • #9
    • Danah
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/11/2006 5:27:02 PM
    I think I can see your point Qwaider, when it comes to relationships.

    And yes, many words/phrases have been bottled according to the media/Hollywood style.

    According to you ;Taking someone/something for granted means , believing that no matter what /where/ when , they/it will be always there . Of course , there is nothing for eternity .. but with some people , we would like to believe there is eternity when it comes to the relation we share with them.
    I'd take parents for example , we do take their unconditional love and care for granted , that's true , but we also should appreciate them , and acknowledge the value of their presence , for the simple fact that , one day they may no longer be with us .. and it might be too late to reciprocate to the love they have given to us.
    • #10
    • AMR
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/20/2008 12:54:39 PM
    We all have the right to our opinion. I can't say I agree with yours. I do not like to take people for granted. It does not feel good to be the one people just assume will always be there. I don't ask for anything but respect in return because I value myself as a human being with real feelings. Now, if I was a robot, there wouldn't be a problem. Counting on your friends and family to always be there for you is not the same as taking them for granted. Actions speak louder than words.
    • #11
    • Angel
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 9/5/2008 7:33:01 PM
    When it comes to actually knowing whether being taken for granted is a good or bad thing, well, you have to know what the other person meant by that. That idiom has two meanings (according to dictionary.com):

    a. to accept without question or objection; assume
    b. to use, accept, or treat in a careless or indifferent manner

    If a is what the person meant, the said person is considered assuming. If he says, "I'm taking you for granted." That's when it's good since the said person is accepting the other person as a whole. [True friendship. Whoot.] This can be expressly said or implied. Either way, it works. :D

    As for b, that's when it becomes bad. You treat others as if they're mere objects you use just to make it through. That's just plain evil and insensitive of the person. This one is usually implied. You're called a "user" if you do this.

    In my opinion, this idiom has this negative connotation. Letter b is more used. So, I believe that people will just take this negatively once said...

    So there.
    • #12
    • best range finder
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2010 3:51:37 PM
    • SpamScore=[1]
    well, if that's the way you put it then it would seem like a good thing.. but society today dictates the meaning of phrases like that and some other words... if the word "so" may mean to society as being "more intense"..e.g. you are SO out of line...meaning the person is intensly out of line.. then we cant do anything about it... Just like taking things for granted, doesnt mean the "trust" involved, or the "loyalty"... it just simply mean that the person taking the one for granted should also put an effort to show that person that he truly cares... right???
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