What you do not know, does not hurt you

So you had a few fortunate or misfortunate relationships before you met, "The One". What should you do?

So you finally found "The One", only after kissing many frogs, and none turned to prince(ss) charming, until now...

Many questions start racing in your head...

• Do you tell them?
• Do you remain silent?
• Would they be upset if they know?
• Would they be upset if they didn't know?
• If you do decide to tell them, how much details do you divulge?
• If you decide to say something, When is a good time?

It's not easy really. Even if you're one that considers the past yours, yours only and no one needs to know about it since, it's yours, all yours and no one has the right to ask you about it.

But the issue is not what you have or have not done, it's more like if you would want to let "The One" know in an informative fashion, not a judgemental one.

I strongly believe truth is the best policy, yet, the hot slimy details might be a little bit too much information to talk about. Since it might cause you to fall in the trap of comparison with former lovers. Even if it was public domain information at the time. It's history, so might be worth an honorary mention, but not all details would be received positively. Specifically if there are certain things that you decided NOT to do again and the present person is asking for it. On the ground of precedence, or "Why wouldn't you do X since you've done it to Y. Is s/He better than me?"

Some people will take it positively, some people might not. There is really no good time to do this. Some might argue that the sooner the better, some might say No only do it way after everything is done. I personally prefer to know early on to give each party a chance to decide on the future and move on, forget about it.

But many will choose not to say anything, and risk having their partner know on their own indirectly. At such a stage they might let them know, since it's a need to know thing. But would most probably add some tension to the relationship, but again. Who knows? These are no clear cut things. There is always give and take and your experience is highly dependant on your partner.

I still consider open, candid, communications to be the best policy. It's the only way to drop all the masks and show the naked you in front of your partner, without carrying the weight of all the skeletons you have in your closet.