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On people, maturity and divorce

By: Qwaider

On:Sunday, January 02, 2011 11:58:44 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (5343) times

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Rated 4.6/5 stars (136 votes cast)

From my view down from my high seat in philosophical heavens, I look down and feel that I have found an answer to many of modern day divorces that we all have seen happening all around us. It's a sad truth of the modern age.

It's true, that in the past, people had less choices. They would marry for life and come hail or high water, they would stick together. I understand that the society was a lot more abusive and restrictive of women at those times. But I doubt that had any real effect on how these relationships formed, progressed and were maintained.

What I seem to find whenever I talk to an older person, is a feeling of maturity, even among the crazy ones who took too long to mature that they have eventually found their path to maturity. They did it! They entered the whole deal with expectations of how hard it's going to be and how committed each party is going to be to ensure the stability and the longevity of this relationship.

Alas, I don't see this being the case these days. If you look around, you'll see everyone rushing into marriage as simply another stage in their life, looking forward to how amazing and simply "fun" it's going to be.

Truth is, marriage, and raising a family is pretty serious HARD WORK! I know, because I am living it. Ask any new parents and they will speak volumes on how wonderful things used to be and how easy things were way-back-when...

This hard work is mandatory to maintain a healthy relationship, absolutely necessary for the family to survive. The definition of "Fun" can be redefined to simply waiting, and expecting and finally getting the big poop that your baby was late in delivering. I'm not kidding you. This is true!

With this kind of responsibility, the very definition of maturity is changed. It's no longer about the individual anymore it's about the whole family. A single person can enjoy having "fun" but as a family things are different.

If you look at a large number of divorces, you will notice this to seem to be as a common denominator

Now, PLEASE, don't get me wrong. I'm NOT trying to judge people, or anyone who suffered through a divorce. I'm really sorry if someone feels offended by what I just wrote. Please forgive me. If you suffered with an abusive partner, or a distant spouse or any hard experiences. But consider this, could what I mentioned applies to your ex-partner? Maybe what they were looking for was more fun and less substance and maturity?

What I just described comes in so many ways, shapes and forms. It could be applied to the husband who spends his time watching football games, or from the wife who spends her time on Facebook or the mall. But these are all signs of immaturity and mixed up priorities.

Again, don't get me wrong, not everyone who goes on Facebook is doing this recklessly at the cost of their home. There are those who know how to balance their life.

Can you look around and see how this applies to people around you? Can you use this theory to predict the outcome of any relationship, unless things fundamentally change? Share your experience and let's hear from you.

Memories....

#1
Hamdanism
Said
On: 1/2/2011 12:15:21 PM
SpamScore=[1.41]

كلامك جواهر

I hear tons of complains from my new wedded friends..it seems that there's a gap between their expectations and reality; an intimidating gap.

#2
kinzi
Said
On: 1/3/2011 7:10:46 AM
SpamScore=[0.51]

When people look at a spouse to meet all their needs, adore them and make life perfect, there will be disappointments when reality hits.

Too many believe that romance will be like Hollywood and sex will be like porn stars, from this day forward.

#3
KJ
Said
On: 1/21/2011 2:41:15 PM
SpamScore=[-3.68]

This is one of the many reasons why I am avoiding marriage at the moment. Not taking into consideration that I cannot financially support it any more, I honestly do not believe I am mature enough to handle the responsibility; it takes a great deal of understanding and pressure management as well as compromise in expectations that, at the moment, I cannot totally give.

So for the time being I am enjoying being a bachelor 26 year old and hopefully I will mature at one point :P