Stay at home dad!

By: Qwaider

On:Saturday, April 17, 2010 7:26:55 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (4768) times

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This morning while I was getting ready to head out to work, I bumped into our neighbor who was taking his son to the bus stop. I was planning to ask our neighbor about a nice modification he did to his house, so I walked with them while chatting about the house.

One thing lead to another and I discovered that my neighbor doesn't work! He has no job, he has not had a job for over 6 years. I was a little bit shocked, but when you live here, there's little that could shock you.

Anyway, turns out, his wife was making more money than he did, so he quit to "stay with the kid" while she went out every day to get the dough.

Stay at home dad

I was thinking on my walk back how this is quite the opposite of everything in my culture. Totally!

But then again, why not?

Would you do it? That was the thing that popped into my head! Would you as a Man stay at home while your wife goes out to earn a living for the family?

But stemming from the same cultural point, If I was a woman, would I do it? Would I go out to work while my husband stays home to take care of the kids?

I honestly don't know what people back home would think. I know I wouldn't. Before anyone accuses me of being chauvinistic or patronising I have my reasons!

First, I'm not against women having careers, or working or anything like that. In fact, I encourage it AS LONG AS SHE'S NOT FORCED INTO IT. In my cultural background, men can be forced into work, no matter how hard or dangerous. It's their duty to provide for the family. Something many men gladly undertake for their whole life, without a moment of discontent!

But not woman! A free woman in my culture would rather die than submit. I guess, we all take our pride from our women, they are the symbol of our oomph, our honor, pride and most precious values. Everything else comes next, including life itself if it came to that. Money doesn't even register compared to these very powerful values.

But it's still buzzing in my head! Would you do it? Would you allow your husband to do it?

Memories....

#1
Hareega
Said
On: 4/17/2010 10:39:34 AM
SpamScore=[0.59]

That's not entirely against our culture. A lot of household incomes in Jordan depend mainly and sometimes entirely on the woman's salary. It's more likely that a Jordanian man would want his wife to work for financial rwasons only while still carrying the belief that if it wasn't for the money she shouldn't be working.

For a lot of men it can create a lot of problems if the wife makes more money than him, even a bigger problem if she's the only one working. That's also the case in the US not just Jordan.

#2
Qwaider
Said
On: 4/17/2010 11:11:41 AM
SpamScore=[-44.24]

Would you do it? It's tempting ... don't you think? :)

#3
علا من غزة
Said
On: 4/17/2010 4:39:07 PM
SpamScore=[0.49]

that's a cool dad lol

I really doubt if this will EVER be ok in our culture .. it's built-in within us .. not even as arabs but as humans!

and who says that it's wrong to have this prospective any way? I mean saying that it's not ok for a man to stay at home while his wife provides the family ...
as u said .. a woman should be looked after, taken care of and provided .. i'm not saying that a woman is weak or unqualified .. 7asha wa kalla :D .. a woman should be "mdallala" :D

even if she has a career .. it's a big relief to a woman to believe deep down that at any time she can quit and comfort herself having a providing husband around :D

hehehe i'll stop talking now!

but thanks for the brainstorming :D

#4
KJ
Said
On: 4/17/2010 6:21:11 PM
SpamScore=[9.72]

Not sure if I can do it. I mean I did get a bit bored this past year being unemployed but I guess being with a kid and raising them is a rewarding full time job.

If my wife gets incredibly more than I do and the economy allows for a single income then sure I'd rather raise the kids and probably do some home business

#5
afaf
Said
On: 4/17/2010 6:42:51 PM
SpamScore=[-3.64]

i really cannot believe aman can take the role of woman in the house...housewife, yeah it sounds simple, but it isnot easy....
so it is easier for him to go out and win his family's bread, here or there...
here in this culture, cuz they believe a woman should bring some to the table, and when they both come back home, they share responsibility to the house...so it is all about sharing!!
in our culture, i get the money, u woman, take care of the house!!!
and again as u said, we were brought up to understand that the man;s job is to work and get money, part of his manhood...u name it...so i guess noone back home will do it, and again there r exceptions!!

#6
Amr
Said
On: 4/17/2010 7:24:42 PM
SpamScore=[0.47]

well.. he can be on welfare! why should he work?

this reminded me by the sticker that says:
Work Harder…Millions on Welfare Depend on You!

#7
Laila
Said
On: 4/18/2010 3:58:14 AM
SpamScore=[-0.23]

I dont think women would allow it to be honest... we view ourselves as the boss of the household, even if we dont admit it! We view ourselves as special, as being ordained with the special responsibility of raising the next generation... many women would think "how could a man do our job". I personally dont think I would, since I would want that 'special' bond of mother and child that I think may be difficult to nourish if I worked long hours. But that's me, I see nothing wrong with the slightly alternative arragement since her higher earning power makes it sensible for her to be the major breadwinner.