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Dating tips: #1 Be assertive

By: Qwaider

On:Monday, November 23, 2009 9:36:30 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (6896) times

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Rated 4.6/5 stars (150 votes cast) Thanks for your vote!

A great friend of mine caught me on messenger this evening and asked me what to do with the woman of his dreams. As many guys around the world, he's really great. Successful, and very decent. But in that lies his problem. He is a shy person in general, and exceedingly shy with people he has feelings for.

While I was talking to him, a few tips came to my mind. I decided I should share them with a greater audience. I will let the female readers of this blog judge what I've got to say.

My goal here is to help, after all, I have my own success story as credentials. I landed the woman of my dreams, not traditionally. But following these tips that I will share with everyone.

I have to stress, there is no competition here. It's not about keeping score. What it truly it is about is breaking the ice, and succeeding with the woman of your dreams...

Let's get started with Tip #1: Be assertive!

Unlike Diana King, most women don't even notice Shy guys

A guy's natural position in a relationship, regardless of the locale, is to be the initiator, the starter. That is our burden. As much as rejection is hard, waiting endlessly for the woman of your dreams to notice, worse, initiate anything with you is far fetched. Unless you're superman, and you end up saving her. Even then, it's really not the kind of love you are looking for!

Women like an assertive person who is confident of himself. They also love to feel that this person is approaching them CLEARLY. It's super important for them to know that you're interested.

If the female doesn't know, there could hardly be any sort of progress. Things might even get worse!

Not initiating means absolute failure. Simply! It's the worst thing you could ever [not] do.

Being assertive assures the female of your interest, that you are interested and that you really know what you want. Even if she wasn't interested, she will end up admiring you for your direct approach and knowing what you want. It will also save you the time and energy of following a lost cause. Like a lady who's already in a relationship. Or who's engaged with something at this period of her life. Or even simply uninterested, and would never be!

Remember, be prepared to be rejected. Most women have been conditioned to raise their shields and fend off any such attempts. But you need to understand that this is the only way to distinguish a person who REALLY wants to get to her, and someone who's just trying to pick her up. They might also be probing to see how a guy deals with rejection...

It's at these moments where the greatest paintings, adventures, sacrifices, poetry and music were drawn, undertaken, made, written and composed... Never underestimate the power of love!

So be nice as general strategy, especially when rejected. Then, accept the challenge because that's what it really is, and see if you can overcome it... But also, be smart enough to know what it really really means uninterested. That's really important!

As I said, I welcome the female audience to critique this series of posts... But I'm confident, many would agree with the content

Memories....

#1
afaf
Said
On: 11/23/2009 2:42:32 PM
SpamScore=[-3.48]

u got it right!!
assertiveness is the most important in a man, speaking of me!!

#2
whisper
Said
On: 11/24/2009 9:59:48 PM
SpamScore=[15.46]

Ahaaa, thats is sooo true :)

A lot of men asked the women to be the starter, which is some thing if not never, rarely to happened.

hope men get advantage from your advises :D

#3
Marvin
Said
On: 11/30/2009 10:42:21 AM
SpamScore=[0.76]

I know a woman who is always the starter. It nearly always ends badly, and at 40, she is finally figuring out that she needs to wait for Mr. Right to find her, instead of always trying to find him.

#4
bashar barakat
Said
On: 11/30/2009 11:56:52 AM
SpamScore=[0.47]

well. its pretty easy, its hard for the person to be shy on the first place, but i think what he have to do is to do some serious thinking, that if he really sure that he wants to be with this woman, and think it that way, if he will be shy he will lose her, i think its the best way.
go on my friend nothing in this life worth it, go for your dreams, nothing will happen, do not take rejection for an answer, keep it up and keep trying ;) ...