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Modern women and contempt

By: Qwaider

On:Tuesday, June 16, 2009 8:18:37 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (15923) times

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Something about modern women makes them a bit alien! I have no idea why...

It's rare, as in almost non-existent that I hear a woman talking about her husband without contempt of some sort. I'm not sure what happened or how it happened. But I'm noticing guys paying respect for their women -in their absence- more than ladies.

This is completely the opposite of engaged and "dating" couples. Where the girl would be talking fondly of the guy, over inflating him in so many ways. (While the guys also appear to downplay their girlfriends)

So what is exactly that makes men and women react like that after marriage?

You don't have to look far for examples of women giving bare minimum level of respect to their husbands. It really puzzles me sometimes. But he's always referred to in the third person, even when he's right there. I've seen this happen way more than I like.

So why is that, really? Why that level of contempt to husbands? Especially when the woman is talking to her girlfriends, or family. But it still bleeds to normal talk with complete strangers!

Things that make me go hmmm!

What makes me feel bad about these things is that, for most people, the couple's "worth" isn't separable. So if you put one of them down. You're putting both of them down. (I'm not sure if these women know it, but by being in contempt towards their husbands, people appear to react by "evaluating" them less)

Weird! I guess, that's one great case of karma

Memories....

#1
Khalidah
Said
On: 6/16/2009 11:36:03 AM
SpamScore=[-0.26]

Aren't you a bit generalizing?

You see, relationships are complicated and they take a lot of work and effort for them to work, and sometimes women need some advice or a different perspective, so if she is talking about her husband's negative aspects in front of her girlfriends and family, it is not necessarily to defame him or bring him down, sometimes it is just venting because if she does not take it out to someone close to her, it will keep building up inside her and snowball till it explodes and takes everything beautiful with it ... so if a few words said to friends and family can help a woman sane and happy ... why not?

Women are different than men .. we think differently and we act and react to things and people in a different way ... so maybe it is just a woman thing .. but I cannot say for sure as I am not married but I can tell you from my experience with my married girlfriends .. they do talk about their husbands and they mention the good, the bad and the ugly sometimes ... so my advice to you is not to analyze it much and just let it go :)

#2
Yameen
Said
On: 6/16/2009 2:54:31 PM
SpamScore=[-0.06]

its simple, when women are at the dating stage, the competition (between them and their girlfriends) is who has the better bf...when they're at the husband/wife stage the competition is about who has it harder :p

#3
Qwaider
Said
On: 6/16/2009 4:58:13 PM
SpamScore=[-41.65]

Hi Khalidah
I'm sorry if it sounds like generalizing. I'm actually talking about a specific type of women and not all. I should have probably made that clear in the Article.

You see, if a woman is saying certain things to relief herself, that would be ok, however, it is not like that. It becomes sort of a habit to just speak poorly of her husband in front of her friends.

I like how you admit that women do talk about their husbands :). That is the point. (I'm not going to generalize here, and say ALL women, but many do) and many don't speak very well of their husbands most of the time. I really don't know why. I might just take your advice and "let it go" :)

Good to hear from you Khalidah, it's been like forever my friend

Yameen
Hahahahah .. So there's always some form of competition!!?
Don't you go around spreading those ideas about women, you don't know what members of your gender are going to do to you for exposing this stuff :)

#4
Marvin
Said
On: 6/16/2009 9:10:48 PM
SpamScore=[-0.82]

I think it's because many men behave contemptibly, both before marriage and after. I think it's worse among certain ethnic/religious subgroups of the species. I'm sure the women in those subgroups are more resentful because of it. ;-) Yet societal and familial pressure forces the women to accept marriages which suit the male much more than they suit the female. It's inherently unbalanced. Hence the contempt and resentment.

In my humble opinion as a disinterested observer.

#5
Yameen
Said
On: 6/17/2009 4:06:35 PM
SpamScore=[1.44]

hmm its ok no one knows where i am :p..but maybe i should sell this kind of info instead of giving it away for free he3 lol

#6
Eman
Said
On: 6/19/2009 5:29:53 PM
SpamScore=[0.38]

I'll have to admit, there are a lot of women who speak negatively about their spouses. One thing that I have come to realize, is that in some cases, it is like Marvin said, "societal and familial pressure forces the women to accept marriages which suit the male much more than they suit the female", and because these females resent that fact, they lash out by venting their resentment.
Maybe they want others to acknowledge how unhappy they are in their lives. I'm not saying that kind of behavior is acceptable, but there is always a reason why people behave negatively.

#7
Mayyasi
Said
On: 7/3/2009 4:06:50 AM
SpamScore=[0.41]

well although i am not married yet, i can say that sometimes woman does that just to prove to other women that she is a "victim", so plz do not envy!!! even if her husband is great!!!

one more thing also: there is no other things for women in general to talk about!! seriously most of women gatherings and talks all revolve about man and husbands!!! that is why most of time wife get back with a lot of negative ideas from such gatherings while the opposite happens with men, they come back with a good mood !!!

#8
Princess N
Said
On: 7/19/2009 3:18:29 PM
SpamScore=[-0.3]

I heard a story about a girl who by the time she hung up the phone with her fiance after a big fight sent a message to one of her best friends critisizing him and calling him names.. her bad luck made her send the message to him by misntake.. they almost broke up but the parents interfered and fixed it..