Stop arguing, damn it!

By: Qwaider

On:Saturday, July 15, 2006 4:01:26 PM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (21033) times

Currently 4.4/5 Stars.
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Rated 4.4/5 stars (155 votes cast)

Some people just don't get it .... Plain and simple...

You work so hard on something, trying to bring the collective attention of people to an Idea. A principle, a point of view ... a result.

Yet people chose to continue to argue about the example you give, or the specifics.. the Details .. the "who"... the "Why" the "What"... and start questioning your motives to the point that your point becomes irrelevant. The discussion becomes irrelevant EVERYTHING is just irrelevant .. and all you're left with is just a bunch of never ending arguments! turning into discussions, turning into yelling and screaming and the end result? NOTHING!

Give the people the benefit of the doubt. Learn to listen then respond. Learn to understand then answer! And please ..... just please STOP BEING argumentative

I am guilty of this, Last night, I wrote a comment on Batir Wardm's blog about his latest article. I criticized some parts of the article....

Once I was done, I looked up and to my surprise I have read only half of the article with the other half being right below a picture that was positioned in the middle. Once I read the rest of the article I discovered that my comment was absolutely useless and totally out of context. So I asked Batir to remove it

The point is people, LISTEN first, judge and respond later!

Someone once said, measure 10 times, and cut once!

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Interesting responses »

Memories....

#1
thecaller
Said
On: 7/15/2006 4:34:23 PM

asalam 3alaykom,
Qwaider..we are scared to death..we are frightened and doubtful..we don't wanna loose..we want to be right even if we end up unhappy//
You are right..generally..but sometimes it is much more complicated than you think..
you measure using your tape..your concepts and worries and values..
Nothing is that simple..
have mercy on people..they are weak..only human.

#2
Garaftt-na
Said
On: 7/15/2006 6:13:56 PM

ا يعني بدك كل ما تكتب شئ قمة في الغباء نبعثلك تهاني و شكر عليه!!!

I know, I know it is your blog and the internet is wide open and all, and I promise you i will not (be) getting anywhere near this garbage anytime soon, but that does not mean that your ignorance is beyong annoying, as i always told you.

اذا ما بدك حدا يختلف معك و يناقش التخلف اللي مرات بطلع منك، ركز عل مواضيع على قدك

#3
Jano
Said
On: 7/15/2006 7:35:38 PM

sheklo el 3arab 7eta bel 7ake mesh shatreen.. im not talkin about you Qwaider, you know ive always loved what i read here and its always right direct to the point.. but sometimes ppl just have their own world where they can share anyone or allow others to share just like i look at you and you me, but i havent talked you but i know you! which will never be true or right at all..
the other day i wrote about anathema's concert and attached anathema's site for ppl to see the complete source.. then someone came god knows where from and said that he read the news first at someone's blog and that im not a nice blogger cuz i didnt attached that blog, that time i didnt even know who is that blogger or ever visited his blog.. i told the complainer that i found the news at anathema's site and i linked my post to that site... he didnt come back// anyway, the good thing is the owner of the other blog came and asked that guy to stop acting like a child and supported me! which was the right thing to do! so imagine how silly ppl can be.. after all its difference of mentelaties and cultures... its like the story of the elephant and blind guys i really dono where i read that but if you want i can say it all.. but wont link cuz as i told you i dont remember where, maybe here lol
hey god bless and just keep talkin whats in your mind.. after all the owner of the blog is the only one who can decide to delete your comment, if its even about the comment and posts..

#4
Jano
Said
On: 7/15/2006 7:37:12 PM

where they "cant" share! please correct and delete this comment :)
thanks

#5
Iman
Said
On: 7/15/2006 7:37:46 PM

LOL ... What's wrong with THE Details .. the "Who," the "Why?" - the Why?? that's my favorite ... and the What! they're essential elements to every conversation ... and because you didn't pay attention to the details of the 3 Ws (ya3ni you didn't carefully read ...in the online context, reading takes the role of listenng)Mr. Q you missed Batir's point! :D

#6
pearl
Said
On: 7/15/2006 8:09:49 PM

Hi there..
just dropping by to say that i like your place here..
And..if you think that argueing is bad..then,you don't know what you're missing..
it's better hot than ice cold!!

#7
Linda
Said
On: 7/15/2006 8:53:09 PM

thats what i teach in my public speaking and argumentation courses. the most important thing one can do is actively listen first!

#8
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/15/2006 9:52:33 PM

Garaftna: اذا كنت مختلف بالرأي لا بأس ان تعطينا الفكرة المقابلة بدل من التفوه بعبارات غير لائقة اما اذا لازلت غير راضي فلن اجبرك على البقاء و الاستماع الى ما لا تحب
Jano, Thank you my friend. Some people are so twisted and stupid. They're really better off in the dumpster. But ... what can we do, maybe one day they will grow up. I didn't understand what did you want me to correct?

Iman, I actually missed part of the post. See you didn't listen :). Yes, the details are important, but sometimes we need to focus on the main point not the details :)

Pearl :) You missed the point too! The idea is not about debate, arguing or discussions. It's about getting the point THEN debate it all you like :)

Linda, Yis3ed deenek. That's exactly what I'm talking about

#9
Abed. Hamdan
Said
On: 7/16/2006 1:21:59 AM

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/07/13/mideast/index.html

please Vote NO

vote for lebanon!

#10
Abed. Hamdan
Said
On: 7/16/2006 1:22:30 AM

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/07/13/mideast/index.html

please Vote NO

vote for lebanon!

#11
7ala
Said
On: 7/16/2006 6:23:00 AM

I think focusing on the details makes people forget the main point of the discussion , and the argument will be about 100 different and irrelevant points instead of one important point, and yes that ends with nothing, Actually sometimes it never ends , its called "endless argument" !
I HATE endless arguments !

Linda, you are right , I took a communication course once "communicate with impact" . and the most important thing this course focused on was "listening". To communicate well you have to listen well first !
you have to listen to the people , think about what they say to understand their points, think about what to respond and then speak your mind.