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Burn after marrying

By: Qwaider

On:Friday, January 02, 2009 2:57:48 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (5387) times

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Rated 4.6/5 stars (110 votes cast)

With very few exceptions, everyone has a few skeletons in their closet. Many things have happened before meeting the one and sealing the deal in holy matrimony.

So for people who are like myself, full of flaws, with memories, skeletons and failed relationships. It's really important to welcome the lady in your life with a clean slate. Because, believe it or not, no matter how many times she says "I forgive you", that doesn't count the minute she discovers something new...

So here's you're guide to waterproofing your relationship against sudden "discoveries" that might ruin your, otherwise perfect, new year holiday.

Males have a tendency of keeping their address book indefinitely. Make sure, your high-school crush is deleted from your address book.
1. This includes your Cell phone
2. Your OLD cell phone
3. Your cellphone smartcard
4. Your Cellphone Sim
5. Your outlook
6. Msn Contacts
7. Google Contacts
8. Old fashioned penciled down in a paper book
9. Your 8 year old PDA
10. Your kitchen wall
11. Your parent's address book
Remember to delete all pictures you have
1. From your Inbox
2. From your camera
3. From all the smard-cards you have
4. From your hard drive
5. On your other PC
6. On your laptop
7. From your flickr account
8. From your skydrive or other online storage
9. From that 10 year old tape backup
10. From your usb-drives
11. From your phone
12. From your older phone
13. From your digital picture frame
14. From your iPod, Zune or any other media device
15. From your Xbox, PS3
16. On any DVD, Floppy drive
Shred, burn and nuke any physical evidence
1. Remember all the corny greeting cards
2. All the personalized gifts
3. Any albums, calendars or binders
4. From any university books, scratch pads, notebooks
5. Get rid of any gifts, jewelery, toys that can be identified
6. Don't forget to burn all the letters
Delete all your email from ANY X
1. Make sure your inbox is cleared.
2. Make sure your deleted items is cleared
3. Make sure your sent items is cleared
4. Repeat for every account you have
5. Don't forget to delete all those SMS text messages on your phone
6. Don't forget to delete those SMS messages from you OLD phone
7. Also check that your SIM card doesn't contain any messages
If you have a blog,
1. Make sure you delete "interesting" comments
2. Make sure you delete "private" whispers
3. Any special articles or posts that were never posted (or were password protected) are removed or deleted
Delete your Chat/IM contacts
1. Also delete any chat history
2. Remember to delete these from your other PC
Also remember to delete your voice mail
If you have any shared videos, don't forget those

I know it's a lot of work, there are more, but these are the things I could think of. Make sure you CLEAN HOUSE, or you will regret it!

I know, every relationship needs to be transparent and completely open to all partners. I completely support that. But once the relationship has taken serious dimension. It's time to clean house. Just delete all the bad memories and move on. You'd be glad you did.

Go ahead ... start cleaning :)

Memories....

#1
KJ
Said
On: 1/2/2009 8:22:51 AM
SpamScore=[1.11]

hehehehehe

sheklak akalta ya sa7by!

am the sort of dude who keeps everything (like grandma).. I have SMSs and chat logs since the features became available (and am aware of them).

It's gonna by uber hard work to delete all!

But see that's the thing. They're just memories - nothing more and nothing less.

#2
kinzi
Said
On: 1/2/2009 9:13:28 AM
SpamScore=[-0.56]

Qwaider, very wise post. My first thought was how technology has made such housecleaning a little difficult! At least the wife can take solace, after a little 'find', that she got a catch many were attempting to land. :)

#3
marwa
Said
On: 1/2/2009 10:21:53 AM
SpamScore=[1.34]

qwaider u 4got the most important thing .. u have 2 clear all these memories from yr heart and mind b4 everything ,, then start cleaning all yr stuff :) best of luck 4 u guys bs akeed eza 3amleen she hek wela hek 7yjee yom wnl26kom :) :)
its the unlimited power of Eve !!

#4
eNAS
Said
On: 1/2/2009 10:24:56 AM
SpamScore=[0.38]

OMG .... :O
kol hadooool!!!

I guess it's easier to say ... Format every storage "device" ,and your "mind" :D

you guys enjoy to have terrible history ^o), wallahi we are more responsible and think before doing a bit thing :P

#5
chika
Said
On: 1/2/2009 12:12:05 PM
SpamScore=[1.2]

That's TOO MUCH lol ! Ok, delete some things and try to either keep quiet OR hint share ;p and yes forgiveness helps :)

#6
vagueraz
Said
On: 1/2/2009 5:27:35 PM
SpamScore=[0.21]

looool....

it's hard work then !! but you guys have to delete these memories from your minds first :D....

#7
Nizar
Said
On: 1/2/2009 6:21:31 PM
SpamScore=[-0.46]

LOL, I feel sorry for those who have names tattooed, there is not much to do about them :P

#8
Hani Obaid
Said
On: 1/3/2009 12:26:56 AM
SpamScore=[-5.45]

Now all that's left is getting a secret identity from the witness protection program, and you're about ready :P

#9
سوزان
Said
On: 1/3/2009 6:43:27 AM
SpamScore=[-0.51]

ما أحلا هال بوست قويدر بس والله لا تعب حالك انتو يا رجال مكشوفين مكشوفين كل راس مالها سؤال وحضراتكم بتكروا علشان تتباهوا وبعدين بتشوفوا العين بلشت تحمر هههه بامزح هه
الله يهنيك يارب انت ومرتك

#10
Princess N
Said
On: 1/4/2009 1:30:16 PM
SpamScore=[0.26]

I dont believe in open relationships.. i mean why would we both need to talk about our xs? what will that do?.. I am not saying we have to hide anything, but I just dont like the session about the Xs.. what has happened in the past is in the past, let it go..
If you see one or your partner asks you about something answer honestly but even if the old relationship has ended it was only between you two, there is no need for the new partner to know the details..