Thank you very much for messing up my order and completely screwing my morning. Thank you for making me realize that having enough time before a very important engagement isn't really good reason why you would go and have breakfast in the hands of "professional" breakfast makers at your glorious institution.
At the same time, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you with a several things, that would make your life much easier, hopefully in a constructive manner
First, you are in this position, not because of your Mensa skills but rather for your lack of those specific, useless skills. Therefore, thinking 'outside of the box' isn't really something you should venture in. Keep it in the box, please. In other words, thinking that ham and bacon would go wonderfully well in my vegetarian omelet is really way outside that box.
Second, you are here not because you have an amazing memory and you can do wonderful tricks with your amazing memory skills, rather, you're here, in this specific position because your memory doesn't serve you right. Otherwise you wouldn't have landed here. Now granted some people land in such positions despite their amazing abilities that would have landed them a degree in optometry or something like that. But, you're not as lucky. So please stop bragging about your memory. It didn't work back then. It's not going to work now. And NO I didn't order pancakes with whipped cream, bananas and Strawberry. And thank you for NOT remembering to add that to my bill.
On a side note of that, the owners of that restaurants paid money for that little notebook that you SHOULD BE USING.
Third, If I really wanted to have a conversation with you, I wouldn't end my sentences with "Thank you!". I'm not against having conversations with anyone, but not when I'm ON THE PHONE with MY BOSS!
Fourth, My shoulder is the sovereign property of my one and only WIFE, please don't tap it, grab it, massage it, lay your arm on it, hold it, or hang your armpit on top of it. I can hear you from 6 feet across that busy place
Fifth, Shouting my order at the top of your lungs while your mouth is too close to my ear is PAINFUL. Please consider the privacy bubble that I prefer to KEEP
Sixth, Please do not follow me to the car when I refuse to leave you tip because you had HORRIBLE service. Gratuity is completely voluntary and is valued based on the pleasure I had while being served. On that front, customers should be allowed to discount points from establishments who have sub-par service
At the end, please be assured that I don't have such gratitude to all waitresses. I'm sure most are fantastic, hardworking and get the order perfectly. But I guess every industry has a few bad apples! So THANK YOU, for totally RUINING my morning, and making me LATE and getting my BOSS pissed off at me!
Grateful customer who left no tip today!