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On being a m7ajabeh (wearing the veil) in the U.S.

  • By: Deemco

  • On:Saturday, November 08, 2008 5:44:32 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4668) times

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    I am a strong believer of the 7jab (veil) and I wear it proudly. I knew I would have some difficulty when I came to the U.S. especially with all the distorted views most Americans have of Muslims. I prepared myself for the stares that I knew I would definitely get. Wherever I go, whether it's to the mall or a restaurant, I know I will turn a few heads. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes I just can't!

     

    I am a strong believer of the 7jab (veil) and I wear it proudly. I knew I would have some difficulty when I came to the U.S. especially with all the distorted views most Americans have of Muslims. I prepared myself for the stares that I knew I would definitely get. Wherever I go, whether it's to the mall or a restaurant, I know I will turn a few heads. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes I just can't!

    It's so annoying when people keep staring at me, but I can handle it. What I can't stand is when people treat me differently because I'm a Muslim or because I wear the 7jab. It seriously offends me and pisses me off. People here are supposedly friendly, but sadly, not with everyone. Once, I smiled at a women and she just turned her head away with this look on her face, as if my presence made her uncomfortable. Some people get scared when they see me. They start grabbing their kids and getting them as far as possible from me and my husband (since he's usually with me).  Another thing that really bothers me is how some people assume I don't know English or don't understand. Aakkhh.. some people are so ignorant!

    On the other hand, some people here are extremely nice and do not discriminate. A couple of times a complete stranger has said to me "Hey how's it going?" and "You alright?" Sometimes people just nod their head hello while others simply smile. It may be a small gesture, but it goes a long way. I understand that I'm different and that I stand out in a crowd, but I'm human! I try to keep in mind that some people have never seen a woman wearing the veil before so I tend to ignore a few looks here and there.

    Other Memories Documented on November 08
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    Memories....

    I never knew Qwaider was a woman, although I had my doubts.
    Anyway for whoever wrote this, good luck. It's much better in America that it is in many other countries, and even in America the attitude is very different from one place to another.
    I got confused had to ask my blogger friend - Farah nimri - from observations of a jordanian!
    Hareega: ya, you're right, it does differ from one place to another. Btw, I'm Deemco :)

    Abdallah: why were you confused?
    hehe, first time i read a blog of urs i got confused too, because Q is the major blogger here we forget there are others :)
    i live in Sydney but im not mo7ajabah, i look around at people when a vieled girl passes by to see how they react and believe it or not, they dont even see her! i think its all in our heads that people are staring, here in the city of sydney its very calm and friendly because its very very multi-cultural but i cant say the same about the rest of australia, some of them are dead racist, i tend to treat those as "ill people who need sympathy"
    as for the rest of it, i sometimes am scared of being who i am, if u tell someone that ur muslim initially they do change their treatment then they have to get over it, but i know its there deep down in their minds, and thats okay, i too dont like to mingle with gay people :D
    but sometimes i wonder, there are those who raise alarm in the airport and make guards on their guards, and then there are those who are completely peaceful who never turn a head, i am one of the latter but im beginning to get annoyed of it :D i dont want to be THAT ineffective, yes its good to raise someones guards every now and then, i know im not a threat but to be treated as so would be nice hehe, i really admire ur courage tho god knows i know it takes a lot of it...
    Mariam: Thanks, it really does take courage. It's easier when you're sure of yourself and the things you believe.
    I'm sure it's not in my head, it's very clear to see. I'm getting used to it, but it doesn't stop it from annoying me.
    As a Jordanian Christian i've been a minority my whole life, and i know what you mean. it is probably harder for you coz you have to deal with it now at this age, for me i kinda grew up with it :)
    things will defenitly be alright, just needs time for you to get used to it and for them to get used to you.
    انا حاسه بهاي المشاعر لكن صراحه مش بكل المناظق بتشعر فيها يعني في لوس انجيليس انا ما بتصور انه اطلع لحالي بس هون في آن آربر انا باطلع لحالي وباركب الباص وبروح وين ما كان واحيانا باطلع بلليل لحالي
    الملخص انه في النهايه تعتمد وين انت موجود فيه مناطق متقبله للمسلمين وبحاولوا يتعلموا منهم ومنهم اذا شافوا مسلم أقرأ عليه الفاتحه
    الامر الثاني المهم انا بتصور المشكله في المسلمين كمان لانهم منعزلين عن المجتمع بحجة انه مجتمع كافر يعني لا تآخذني اذا كان المجتمع مش عاجب هالمهاجر لايش جاي !!
    I am veiled and in few months i'll be moving to the state after i get married .... it really came to my mind that people will be staring at me but i guess i'll try to make it as acceptable as i can i mean more modern or stylish ... to make people see how nice it is ....
    • #9
    • sam
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 11/10/2008 2:36:06 AM
    i guess if u live in a place with a large muslim population it is not too bad..but i am not a muhajaba..and i live in canada in an area with a big muslim and arab population..so what do i know??
    btw mabrook on your marriage.:)
    سوزان: I'm glad things are easier and more comfortable for you in the states. Personally, I have no problem with Americans and I don't treat them differently based on their religious beliefs. I grew up here in the U.S. and I have many non-arab friends.

    Simsim: First, I'd like to say mabrook in advance. Like many people have said, it differs from one state to another, so hopefully you'll live in a more open and accepting state. It helps to smile and be friendly. I try to show them that we are nice and friendly people.
    As for my 7jab, I like to think of it as modern too. It's not like I walk around wearing a 3abay. Although I admit, if I'm in a hurry and just going out for a quick errand I will wear it instead of getting all dressed up.

    Sam: Thanks, Allah ybarik feeki :) You're lucky to live in an area with a big arab population, I really miss being around arabs. It's a good thing we'll be going back home soon.
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