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By: Qwaider

On:Wednesday, July 05, 2006 8:11:37 AM
In:Thoughts
Viewed: (14723) times

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This is one subject I wanted to talk about for a long time. Apparently it had become acceptable even encouraged for someone to get married to an American just to get a Green Card. I don't think so!

It took me a solid 6 years to get my Green Card (no not citizenship) Green card. A year longer than it would take someone to get the green card AND get citizenship if he was to be married to an American

This is not the problem. My problem is with people who take this absolutely for granted. Sure yeah, go ahead get married to get the citizenship. Not only is it illegal. It's immoral.

I met this lady once, A American Pakistani lady. She was 23 years old a mother of a 2 year beautiful little girl. After hearing her story, I learned she got divorced 5 years to the day she got married. Exactly 5 years! She got married to some Pakistani guy through family when she was 18, he stayed with her till he got the Green Card and, Adios! Thank you Mame!

I don't know when did such acts started to become acceptable. Or even encouraged by some. Now I wouldn't mind if someone got married to an American out of anything but taking advantage of them in this manner.

Legally speaking this is an offense. I don't really know what the law states in this case but it there must be some text that says that is punishable by law. This part is of no interest to me, since the law is there to further enhance morals, and plain old common sense

But what does interest me is the moral aspect of this issue. I don't care what anyone would say or suggest this is plain old wrong. Taking advantage of someone in this manner is low, immoral and extremely disturbing. You know if they AGREE on something like this then maybe morally it's less of an issue (or at least it only becomes the moral issue of a couple breaking the law) But If this is not the case and someone actually lying to someone to get married to them and probably recite all the love poems just to lure the unsuspecting partner to their trap and once that green card is in their pocket... Just get a divorce. And maybe keep all his assets away from her knowledge so that when the divorce is done he gets to keep all his assets. Anther thing against the law. Although I disagree with that law myself.

When did we grow to view such a sin as acceptable!? Even Encouraged?

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Memories....

#1
Khalidah
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:08:16 AM

In the Arab World, for a lot of people; it is a dream to get the green card and citizenship and that is why people send their daughters to an unknown future with men they don't know anything about .. just for the dream of USA ...

I have seen it happen many times and more often than not; the girls come back to their families divorced or further worse with kids and/or mental wounds that don't heal shortly ..

You just look at the rate of illegal immigrants that enter the states every year and then do all they can to become legal residents or citizens .. there are many reasons to this phenomenon and I guess it depends on where they are coming from

#2
Iman
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:09:37 AM

exactly! it's immoral, it's vulgar, it's disgusting!
but now-a-days from what I hear, those guys in need of a green card are straight forward about it from the start...and even pay the girl for her 'services'... honestly, I still think it's very wrong...and i would not consider someone who has done that

#3
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:11:04 AM

True, but when did we as Arabs start to accept this? Which is against everything we stand for

As for the women who go back to their families divorced. They're not all Angels!

#4
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:15:38 AM

Yes Iman, I agree with you, it's absolutely wrong. Not for any reason
Marriage should be a sacred institution. Not a way to get material benefits no matter how great! But there is no harm in benefiting if it's NOT the main reason

#5
Iman
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:18:51 AM

Well khalidah, you're talking about girls from back home marrying arab american guys who probably haven't visted home in ages- if ever...their mentalities differ immensely, their way of life, their approach, their social circles, etc. which is a huge problem!

#6
Tamara
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:25:26 AM

Honestly Qwaider

I started to really look forward to the day you get married...how about a change of subject :)

On a serious note ...totally agree with you and there are many horror stories on the subject.

#7
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:46:14 AM

He hehe ... yalla .. better get busy ..

#8
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 10:37:18 AM

asalam 3alaykom,
great post qwaider..
i have some relatives in the u.s and i've seen that happen with one of them but in another form..he met her and liked her and proposed then they got married..do i think that the green card didn't come to his mind?!no i don't..but they are to gether for more than eight years now..
the idea is always in the minds of imegrants and i think that people who made your decision are rare:)
do't you think that the movie made it seem more fantastic than it really is??"green card""

#9
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 10:40:34 AM

I have to admit I can't even remember that movie. Was it Eddie Murphy?
Anyway, No they're not few cases ... it's way too many. I'll give more info on the Lady maybe in another post

#10
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 10:50:13 AM

i guess you are not as ancient as i am...and suddenly i forgot his name..the french guy who made serano de pergerac..ruined the spelling also:):):)
btw..did you find the lyrics?
p.s.still waiting for my answers!!

#11
Killer Bee Bop
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:11:19 AM

Green Card (1990): starring Gérard Depardieu and Andie MacDowell, not that ancient ...

---------------------------------
while(true)
{
football=dead;
boycott=true;
while(FIFA==sell-outs && fans==morons && referees==bought && players==divers_and/or_headbutters); //infinite loop
football=revived;
boycott=false;
};

#12
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:23:27 AM

allah ynawar 3aleek ya killer...it depends on when did you became ancient!!;)

#13
Khalidah
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:38:40 AM

This problem is always discussed in movies and TV shows and I believe that it is one of the most important issues in USA ...

We all have witnessed cases of students leaving their homes when they are 18 to go study in the states and just to make it easier for expenses and living arrangements, they marry and get the greencard .. now some of them leave the wife after they are done with their studies .. some have conditions before marriage that they don't want kids .. and lots and lots of scenarios .. we can not tell if the intention was to get the greencard from the beginning or it was a whim or anything else .. but there are more immoral people and actions out there than we care to realize ..

Some would marry old ladies for this purpose .. and some American ladies have turned this into a trade and an art .. so it really depends on who is involved and we cannot generalize .. it will keep happening until there is a new law in USA or something else happens

#14
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:44:38 AM

I didn't generalize. I said if someone is doing it JUST to get the green card then it's low. I don't care how people justify it for themselves. I even said it's OK if it's agreed upon like that
Right?

#15
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:49:56 AM

where's my response??????????????????????????????????????????????????

#16
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:50:50 AM

The Caller, I hate taking those quizes!

#17
Ola
Said
On: 7/5/2006 11:57:53 AM

Such marriages violate the sanctity of marriage, and reflect a very bad image of our culture... I remember that story about two European women who married 2 Arab Muslim men, as long as I remember the ladies converted to Islam... one of them lived happily with her husband while the other, whom the man seemed to have married only for the sake of citizanship or something, was dumped by her husband, and she reconverted again! see what I mean? That man gave a real bad and wrong wrong image about himself and his beliefs, which he absolutely doesn't represnt by this act...

#18
Khalidah
Said
On: 7/5/2006 12:35:42 PM

I did not say you generalized ... I am just saying that these marriages happen all the time and that's why they train immigration officials to discover and punish such cons in the interviews

even if they both agree on it, I still think it is wrong and that it is a conditioned marriage which defies the whole concept ...

#19
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 12:55:53 PM

A-ha !! that's a new twist Khalida ... And Conditional Marriage is like Mut3a so it's Haram in Sunnah
Nice, I like this idea you just threw at me :)

#20
Khalidah
Said
On: 7/5/2006 1:15:39 PM

:)

I am glad you saw my point ;)

#21
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 1:23:49 PM

asalam 3alaykom,
don't care one bit;)
just wanted to know lil more..
and ..curiosity never kills the sort of cat i am!!

#22
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 1:31:16 PM

You mean to say you're a ~~leopard (XXXXXXX)~~
Edited: Sorry I didn't know this is a bad word in Egyptian

#23
thecaller
Said
On: 7/5/2006 2:22:09 PM

check ur mail 4
M:I 4

#24
Emily
Said
On: 7/5/2006 3:46:47 PM

As an American, I know that the immigration officials have the final say as to if the partner is able to obtain a green card through marriage. If the official feels that the partner only married the citizen to gain a green card, they can refuse to process the paperwork. However, I don't think this happens often. A family friend of ours worked as a nurse in Amman for four or five years. A young local "wined and dined" her for three years and they got married after that point. He convinced her to move back to the US. The immigration offfical at the US Embassy in Amman warned her that he felt the man was only marrying her for a Green card, but alas, she was in love with him and the official relented and processed the paperwork. They came home to the US and the man drank and partied every night- even brought a woman home to their house! He spent all of her money and as soon as he got his Green card- divorced her!
I know that this is not always the case. My boyfriend is Jordanian and living in the US. I have several friends whose husbands are from the area and they are happily married; however, my heart really goes out to those who are taken advantage of in this way.

#25
Luai
Said
On: 7/5/2006 6:01:09 PM

Q, when done legally it usually does take a long time to obtain a green card and citizenship. From H1B it takes more than 5 years, and these days closer to 8. Just for a green card. FYI, a little tidbit of information to prevent you from learning the hard way: if you are male and obtained you PR status while you were <26 yrs old, you must register with selective services. After 26 you cannot register. If you did not register you will not be eligible for citizenship, and only after surpassing the age of 31, is when this requirement of obtaining naturalization may be overlooked by the USCIS. If you are still <26 you may still register.

To correct the information above, one is eligible for US citizenship after being married for 3 years to a US citizen, being a permanent resident, meeting the continuous residency requirement and a few more requirments. Being married is the key, and I think it must be the same person who petitioned for your PR. The 5 years applies to those who obtain green cards in other ways (via H1 visa, immigrant visa via a US citizen/PR relative (non-spouse)).

The offer has been upped to $50,000 marry and and bring someone to the US. That is the price of a Hummer! But this is of course illegal, and the US Dept of Homeland Security has many ways to verify the validity of relationships. The penalties are quite severe and should be enough of a deterrent.

I've started to hear some families refusing to marry their daughters to non-Green Card holders or non-US citizens for the very reason that men are marrying for the green cards. A case of a few apples.

#26
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/5/2006 9:42:55 PM

Luai, I know all about it. I came to the US on an H1B and almost 6 years later got the Greencard. It was a very long and painful process.
I wouldn't know much about the process for married people because. I didn't get married :D

Folks, I'm not saying everyone who gets married to an American is a crook! Absolutely not. But that there are some who do, and I am upset of their actions, and find it unjustifiable to play on someones emotion to get the card

#27
thecaller
Said
On: 7/6/2006 1:53:49 AM

asalam 3alaykom,
sleepless and wanted to tell you!!
do you know a quran reciter named meshary bin rashed...
he is the one that allah gifted me with to make me love listening to quran..ma sha2 allah..i don't know how but you find yourself transforming into a spiritual heart..his telawa explains the meaning..you should listen to him,although i doubt that you don't love him as well:)
in surat albaqarah..there are three or four ayat talking about people with hearts like rocks..that just tares me apart..didn't mind me rambling?!

#28
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/6/2006 1:58:03 AM

I love Mishari ... He is awesome my all time favorite reciter (yes I like his recitation even more than 3Ajmi). I listen to him every single day.
My favorite is Sorat Yousuf. The way he recites it is heart capturing. He's seriously amazing
Funny You would say this, I was telling Noor about it the other day

#29
thecaller
Said
On: 7/6/2006 2:04:15 AM

surat yusuf is my mom's favorit too..
which blog is noor's?

#30
Qwaider
Said
On: 7/6/2006 2:09:41 AM

This one: http://heavenslights.blogspot.com

#31
Killer Bee Bop
Said
On: 7/6/2006 11:04:54 AM

For monkeys' sake Leopard does NOT mean 'labu2ah', it means 'fahed'! :|

#32
HMISSA
Said
On: 6/8/2008 1:17:41 PM

Airport

#33
Michelle
Said
On: 2/24/2009 8:20:04 AM
SpamScore=[1]

I am a american woman and just got married to a man from Guatemala, he is here with his passport, how do we go about getting his green card?

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