Crazy women: #7 Travel

1. The sophistication impostor!
   Although she swallows a 16oz steak in one bite at home, you can spot her at the airport barely eating her potato chips or almost eating her chocolate with a fork and knife. Her extended waist line and lack of color homogeneity between her sweat shirt top and pink pyjama pants indicates that this is truly not the classy person she thinks she is. Finish the goddamn chocolate already!
2. The groom hunter
   This one is mostly found on international flights bound for middle eastern countries. She can be smelled from a mile away, wearing one of the heavy perfumes suitable only for Soirees. She's just had her hair done professionally, and she also ordered the full facial. Which is ironic since after 18 hours of flying and awkward uncomfortable seats and bodily functions, she starts looking like a drag queen.
   And yeah, prince charming was sitting on the other side of the plane with his girlfriend. The mechanic next to you has a wife and 7 kids.
3. The No-food-at-destination lady
   I can't even start to imagine how much food that woman is carrying in her Victoria Secrets paper bag. I have no idea why did she stuff that bag with Burgers and Tacos! The smell is enough to make you order everything on the menu. Especially when the plane is half the way through and suddenly someone opens the overhead compartment!
4. The ultra elegant!
   This lady has a little tool or gadget for everything. She has pretty cosy, comfy, fluffy socks to put her legs up. She's got the little eye cover thing to catch some sleep, she's got her little moisturizer bottle to make sure her hands are pretty soft, she's got her little hand sanitizer. She's got a huge bag of makeup and perfume that she lugs around breaking her husband's back with. 15 minutes before descent, she goes to the restroom and comes back ready for a night out. Apparently, the airport is the new night club.
5. The true mommy
   Hair filled with baby spit, pants stained with baby pee, hands filled with a million toys, baby crying, husband acting all cool checking out the hot checks 2 and 4 above. I feel sorry for these. The should just throw the baby at their husbands and play #1 above
6. The aspiring photographer!
   Ahh, pretty cloud - flash - ... Ahh pretty plane - flash -. Ahh pretty rainbow -flash-... Ahh pretty baby -flash- .. Waaaaa WAAAAAA. Baby just woke up! Ahhh pretty finger nails - flash - ! Goddamn it woman .. turn the damn flash off
7. The PMSing stewardess
   Enough said! Don't try to ask for anything, don't even try to smile or have eye contact! YOU WILL REGRET IT!

So there you have it, the crazy numbers of ladies while travelling