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How to tell someone to BUG OFF!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Wednesday, June 28, 2006 1:13:09 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (10609) times

    • Currently 4.1/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.1/5 stars (227 votes cast)

    Lets face it. If you blog, there will come a time for multiple reason where you would be forced to ask someone to bug off. But how do you do this without offending others? And how do you regain leverage over such person turning a negative situation into a positive experience

    No litter

    Every once in a while you get someone who abuse the freedoms that you are furnishing on your blog. You like to give people to talk back, argue, comment, and just speak up their mind

    But every once in a while you get stumped. Something "WEIRD" shows up in your comments list. What do you do? Hit the panic button

    My advice is: Take care of it, and FAST! before other people pay attention and it turns out to your worst nightmare. On online fight. Where every little man starts flipping the universe with crap that you would prefer not to see on your blog

    Your response MUST vary. It depends on WHO the person is, WHY he did this, WHO IS the target, and WHAT kind of an offence is it!

    You have a number of ways to respond and these also vary, but I suggest limited response depending on the matter.

    Here's my suggestions:

    Spam:

    • Don't even bother, delete, and ban. Chances are the person will be doing other attempts.
    • You may chose to delete only if you don't expect more

    Extreme profanity:

    • If you or your readers might be offended, and you're tolerant, you may pass it once or twice.
    • If it continues you may EDIT the comments.
    • If it gets out of hand, just delete the comments
    • If your service supports checking the submitted comments for offensive words, user it. Unfortunately this system is not bullet proof

    Big Fights:

    • You need to immediately step in. It's not something to actually enjoy seeing.
    • Either stop commenting on the article delete all offensive material or contact the person(s) by mail and let them know you're not going to allow it to continue

    Extreme Criticism:

    • If it's against the subject at hand, you might want to discuss it further, try to come up with a calm and common grounds. This helps alot
    • Against yourself. Now, you will need to be extremely diplomatic here, because other readers are waiting for your response. Throwing a fit at the guy criticizing is a major NO-NO. Your muscle mass is absolutely worthless online. In fact unleashing the wrath of your tongue is also a bad idea. People will take note, You will lose! Instead. Try to be understanding and try to turn a miserable situation to a positive one and come on top. At some point you might just need to go ahead and send them private mail and/or delete their comments. If it's going to stir controversy that you're not capable of handling
    • Against others: Again, as the blog owner, it's your job to mediate between the parties. Try to tone it down. Try to diffuse the matter. But in extreme cases, you might want to resort to the big fights section above

    The person is well known or a good friend

    • This is a tough one. Somehow you need to diplomatically get through to your friend and let him understand that you're not happy with the way things are going. Most people will understand and listen
    • Convert the subject from the hot spot, to something else. Allow people to cool down and make sure they're not igniting the fire again

     

    The fact of the matter is that people are going to judge you  by your actions. One bad move and you will end up in a spot you really don't know how to get out of.

    People will take the notion that you're not a welcoming host and with time, they will start falling out of love with you. Make sure this NEVER happens

    The worst thing you can do is to throw a fit at people and start yelling at everyone because "You've Had it". It shows serious signs of immaturity and disrespect

    To be successful you must

    • harbor tolerance and understanding
    • let people vent out.
    • Let them speak their minds.
    • Let them enrich your experience and others.
    • Learn from others, and from your visitors
    • Respect their differences and ideas
    • Give the sort of individualized attention that people love
    • Be patient
    • Never say, I don't need you, I don't need that. Lets face it. You do.

    While doing that you must also:

    • Be firm on your principles
    • Be firm on your ethics and morals
    • Be firm on other people's image and respect
    • Don't allow anyone to be a victim of a bully
    • Send a clear message about your policy
    • Stand up for the weak
    • Don't compromise when it comes to your readers best interest. The good of the group outweighs the benefit of the individual
    • Make some concessions that don't disagree with the rules above

    And eventually comes the time where you've used all your tricks. And you're still not getting the response that you're seeking. You have to be firm, and request from the person to not come back. Be VERY clear about your reasons. And be very clear that you're doing this because they forced your hands. But COMMUNICATE with them in the clearest of terms why you're doing this

    No

    The bottom line is that you're the ruler of your own little universe. You need to make sure everyone is happy and well taken care of. Don't let your universe go on unattended, it's like a garden. If you neglect it, you will end up with lots of weed and few flowers

    Happy blogging :)

    Other Memories Documented on June 28
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    Memories....

    Nice ..interesting advice to be honest can't wait to use some of them over at my blog : p that would mean I will have more people over there.

    Seriously Qwaider you started to sound like the father of the new bloggers, you introduce encourage and give advice….very soon you will become baba Qwaider : )
    Tamara you do realise that you're older than me :D
    But baba ... baba .... wala yhimmek
    lol ..Didn't know I'm older in any case older in the real world but in the blog world you are ....but don't hate me if it sticks and other poeple start calling you Baba  : p
    I'll start asking them "Who's your daddy"?
    what ever makes you happy : )
    :)!!! I don't know what to say to that!
    Thank you?
    I'm a in a freakishly strange mood, I was under a lot of pressure at work that miraculously was all cleared up a couple of hours ago, this apparently will lead to involuntary bursts of laughter, and some wise …( peep)..answers.

    Sorry : )
    BABA FEEN?
    Baseeta tamara. don't worry
    Pal guys are not allowed to call me baba! :D
    Ba3dain Tamara ... bitla3lek ... it's your birthday :D
    Excellent post man, Excellent, I however try to avoid fights and long conversations in such situations sits its much like running in the special olympics..... i'm sure you know what i mean ;) only becuase i have found out through experience that a overwhleming number of people lack the skills of argument to a frightening extent, even those who you might think are good or influencial bloggers, sure they're good at bitching, moaning and insulting, but when it comes to providing a valid resonable arguement all you'll get is more insulting and name calling, its sad really.
    The Arab Blogsphere is full of ignoratns, specially the Arab bloggers who blog in English language...actually most of them are ignorants and shallow, only a few number of them can be called decent.

    I have one solution for them, just IGNORE them, and they will give up and if you have any hacking skills, don't save the chance to bust their butts.

    Most of them are using Wordpress, and there are a well know vulnerabilites in Wordpress...
    Now now boys. I see a lot of frustration coming from you two. I am sure you've suffered alot. But hey, we live and we learn

    Abboud habeebi, don't even mention word like that. Man being called a hacker or attempting to hack is not a cool thing. No matter how glorified the movies industry has made it. It's not a good thing. So be careful what you say or do. Make sure you're Safe, but never attempt that on others
    good advice is all good, thanks
    asalam 3alaykom,
    very intresting ,coming from you..an expert on the subject..
    as always i will take your advice and try to maintain those rules..do you think they'll actually work?!!
    Well ... we can try :). The most important thing is just to get too angry and try not to lose your cool.
    ah sa7ee7 hoa elhacking da ye3mel eh ya3ny??
    allah yesam7ak ya abed:)
    I never attempt it to other, I never use the knowledge I have in the wrong directions, but somebody is annoying me to an intolerant point, then I should take an action, I don't harm anybody, but I just scare them.
    No abed. Don't
    Don't even talk about it. trust me that's the last thing you want people to think of you. It's not smart, ant it's not cool (and a criminal offence) Stay away of it me friend, trust me
    It seems that you got me wrong...

    it's not about cool or criminal..im not that kinda person..

    When Im attacked in an intolerable way, and if someone keep annoying me and harrasing me, and there's noway to stop him, what else can I do ?? I can scare him to stop him ??

    I don't attack anybody, even In real life, but If Im attacked, I should defend myself, right ???

    even when I defend myself, I don't miss-use the knowledge I have, trust me, Im man with ethics and morals..that's how I was raised. and I don't hurt anybody.
    • #21
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2006 10:56:32 PM
    I know I have been so annoying fi akher fatra but I promise eny 7ahda khalas , no need enak et3'alleb 7alk w tseer deplomatic w hal2osas hai :)
    abed it doesn't matter how noble your reasoning is the end result is the same. there are many ways to stop a user. be smart and don't lose you advantage simply for revenge or to retaliate. i have no doubt you are honorable and you do no aggression. but just trust me on this one. please.

    7ala oh shut up. why do you keep thinking anything i say is a message indirect to you? it's not.  relax. remember i just wrote the book on this ;-)
    • #23
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/28/2006 11:29:49 PM
    meen shut up had ?!!! ma tseb ah !!:/  hehehe

    ana ??!!!!!!! ana i keep thinking like this? i was kidding wallah :(
    I dont remember that i took something in ur posts as an indirect msg to me!!!

    khalas ba66alt ankosh mokhy , I am sorry 3mo Qwaider :(
    asalam 3alaykom,
    hey abed..i was kiding ha??
    did you see the smile:)?
    i don't even know what that is exactly..you're my bro;)
    TheCaller: Sorry,  I've not noticed your message untill now :)

    Qwaider: I know what you mean dude, and thanks for the advice...actually even when I had to do something, it's nothing harmful at all...anyway,I know exactly what you mean, and I highly appreciate it, and trust me. I have read what I wrote,I wrote it in a wrong way.. that's why u got me wrong :)

    sho malkom 3a 7ala ya jama3a ??

    I liked it when 7ala wrote this, I keep reading it every day:
    "كأس من النسكافيه و أغلفة شوكولاته مبعثرة حولي ... تماما كأفكاري و مشاعري ..."

    I like using the world كأس من النسكافيه, I don't know why I keep laughing whenever I read this..

    bezakkerni fl old arabic series : كأس من الجعة
    7ala: Sorry, correction:
    why do you people keep thinking anything i say is a message indirect to you?
    Onkooshi ... wala yhemmek ... hada baitek el tani. You can do what ever you want here :)
    ويحك يا هذا! اتحتسي الجعه وتنسى النبيذ؟ هيا هيا نلهو و نمرح في ظل هُـبل
    فالليل خمرٌ وغداً امرٌ
    • #27
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/29/2006 12:14:27 AM
    6aieb madam fi people fi elmawdo3 yeb2a ben3addiha :-)
    bs marra tanieh allah ykhaleek ma tensa elpeople , tara elpeople mohemmeen kteer , ya3ny law ma kan fi people fi elmawdo3 kant nafseyty te3bat ... r3'm eno ma fi majal tet3ab akter men hek bs bardo kant te3bat :-) hehehehe  

    jd enk nahfeh , kollo takhweet w ma b3ml 2osas la7aly dont worry :)
    bs bardo had ma byemna3 eny sayreh dallou3a akher fatra w lazem ahda shwi , w 3la fekra had elde7ek w eltakhweet men a3rad el2ekte2ab 3ndy heheheh 3n jd eny 3alam akhar !

    Abed ya Abed enta wardeh wallah, ana hai eljomleh ba7ebha w b7ess enha bteshbahny kteeeeer:)
    sometimes the arabic language sounds stupid when using it to describe things like "ka2s men elnescafe" heheheh

    Thank you l2nk betdafe3 3ny men elamerican people :)
    abed it doesn't matter how noble your reasoning is the end result is the same. there are many ways to stop a user. be smart and don't lose you advantage simply for revenge or to retaliate. i have no doubt you are honorable and you do no aggression. but just trust me on this one. please.

    7ala oh shut up. why do you keep thinking anything i say is a message indirect to you? it's not.  relax. remember i just wrote the book on this ;-)
    أبوجهل ترك النسكافيه العادي وأصبح يشرب نسكافيه خالي من الكافيين


    قويدر أصبح من الامريكان المشركين...

    ذكرتوني بمسلسلات رمضان والله!!
    يتهكّمون على النبيذ معتقاً   وهم فوق النبيذ، ذبابُ
    • #31
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/29/2006 12:36:14 AM
    ya 7aram ya shabab , leh beseer ma3km hek ?
    Thank God , it seems eny mo la7aly wad3y s3b, yalla elmot ma3 eljama3a ra7meh :-)

    Qwaider , e7na elly elsa3a 3na sarat b3d nos ellail mo enta , so malak 6afy?! leh 3edt elcomment #22 kaman marra ?! :)
    والله ياقوم شكلي رايح أحتسي كأس شاي ليبتون مع قليل من النعنع, خليني أدرسلي كلمتين ,

    لان هذا التدوين شكلو سيقصم ظهري...

    ويبدو أنني سأمارس الرسوب المبرح في هذا الفصل الدراسي الحار جاد..

    ولا تهكل هما يا أخي القويدر...سنحتسي النبيذ,ولا تنسى الغانيات والراقصات


    7ala bekaffi Arabic, 3awajteelna lsanna...halla2 baseer a7ki ma3a el nas haik..." ana raye7 a7tesi ka2s nescafe" lol
    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal...mesh ma3gool kol hatha el 7ake 3ashan fe 7ada mdaygak...and what's with all the details...you dont need 2 write a book about...it just comes naturally ...you either have the skill or you dont...it's like writing abook titled "ta3allam al tad7'een bdoon mo3allem"...hehehe...

    anyway i like 2 use 2 theories :
    1-etrko bethbal wo bemoot la7alooo...
    2-nathareyyet al el este3mal wal ehmal (Lamark)

    hehehe...nice post 3a kol 7al...ana ban3'al marrat kaman...bas lessa ma sawwalee araq...
    YA habeebi ya abu 3amzooo, Mishan allah... this is not directed to anyone :(
    Kam marra biddi a3eed oo Azeed ... MISH LA AY 7AD!

    And Yeah, I like ignoring him theory, it works
    • #35
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/29/2006 1:54:15 PM
    7andalna ne2har fik la3'ayet ma t2eem elpost :-)
    Then you'll be waiting for a long long long time
    Saba7 el full 7ala
    • #37
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/29/2006 2:56:14 PM
    Saba7 elward :)
    Joloos
    • #39
    • 7ala
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 6/29/2006 3:07:23 PM
    7ader 3amo Qwaider:)
    Ma alazzek oo inti motee3a :) ... isma3i el kalam ya shattoura
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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