How to tell someone to BUG OFF!

Lets face it. If you blog, there will come a time for multiple reason where you would be forced to ask someone to bug off. But how do you do this without offending others? And how do you regain leverage over such person turning a negative situation into a positive experience

Every once in a while you get someone who abuse the freedoms that you are furnishing on your blog. You like to give people to talk back, argue, comment, and just speak up their mind

But every once in a while you get stumped. Something "WEIRD" shows up in your comments list. What do you do? Hit the panic button

My advice is: Take care of it, and FAST! before other people pay attention and it turns out to your worst nightmare. On online fight. Where every little man starts flipping the universe with crap that you would prefer not to see on your blog

Your response MUST vary. It depends on WHO the person is, WHY he did this, WHO IS the target, and WHAT kind of an offence is it!

You have a number of ways to respond and these also vary, but I suggest limited response depending on the matter.

Here's my suggestions:

Spam:

• Don't even bother, delete, and ban. Chances are the person will be doing other attempts.
• You may chose to delete only if you don't expect more

Extreme profanity:

• If you or your readers might be offended, and you're tolerant, you may pass it once or twice.
• If it continues you may EDIT the comments.
• If it gets out of hand, just delete the comments
• If your service supports checking the submitted comments for offensive words, user it. Unfortunately this system is not bullet proof

Big Fights:

• You need to immediately step in. It's not something to actually enjoy seeing.
• Either stop commenting on the article delete all offensive material or contact the person(s) by mail and let them know you're not going to allow it to continue

Extreme Criticism:

• If it's against the subject at hand, you might want to discuss it further, try to come up with a calm and common grounds. This helps alot
• Against yourself. Now, you will need to be extremely diplomatic here, because other readers are waiting for your response. Throwing a fit at the guy criticizing is a major NO-NO. Your muscle mass is absolutely worthless online. In fact unleashing the wrath of your tongue is also a bad idea. People will take note, You will lose! Instead. Try to be understanding and try to turn a miserable situation to a positive one and come on top. At some point you might just need to go ahead and send them private mail and/or delete their comments. If it's going to stir controversy that you're not capable of handling
• Against others: Again, as the blog owner, it's your job to mediate between the parties. Try to tone it down. Try to diffuse the matter. But in extreme cases, you might want to resort to the big fights section above

The person is well known or a good friend

• This is a tough one. Somehow you need to diplomatically get through to your friend and let him understand that you're not happy with the way things are going. Most people will understand and listen
• Convert the subject from the hot spot, to something else. Allow people to cool down and make sure they're not igniting the fire again

The fact of the matter is that people are going to judge you  by your actions. One bad move and you will end up in a spot you really don't know how to get out of.

People will take the notion that you're not a welcoming host and with time, they will start falling out of love with you. Make sure this NEVER happens

The worst thing you can do is to throw a fit at people and start yelling at everyone because "You've Had it". It shows serious signs of immaturity and disrespect

To be successful you must

• harbor tolerance and understanding
• let people vent out.
• Let them speak their minds.
• Let them enrich your experience and others.
• Learn from others, and from your visitors
• Respect their differences and ideas
• Give the sort of individualized attention that people love
• Be patient
• Never say, I don't need you, I don't need that. Lets face it. You do.

While doing that you must also:

• Be firm on your principles
• Be firm on your ethics and morals
• Be firm on other people's image and respect
• Don't allow anyone to be a victim of a bully
• Send a clear message about your policy
• Stand up for the weak
• Don't compromise when it comes to your readers best interest. The good of the group outweighs the benefit of the individual
• Make some concessions that don't disagree with the rules above

And eventually comes the time where you've used all your tricks. And you're still not getting the response that you're seeking. You have to be firm, and request from the person to not come back. Be VERY clear about your reasons. And be very clear that you're doing this because they forced your hands. But COMMUNICATE with them in the clearest of terms why you're doing this

The bottom line is that you're the ruler of your own little universe. You need to make sure everyone is happy and well taken care of. Don't let your universe go on unattended, it's like a garden. If you neglect it, you will end up with lots of weed and few flowers

Happy blogging :)