Blog 4 Jordan Day

Visitor of the day


  • You
    from

Brag Stats

  • Comments:25,004
  • Articles:2,000
  • Article Hits:12,459,805
  • Unique Visitors:2,000,438
  • Rss Subscribers:3,052
  • Comment Subscribers:2,530
  • Spammers:136,315
  • Generated :757,671 spams
  • Monitoring:3,942,477 spam IPs
Powered by Qwaider Shield

Recent Comments

Check out the latest pictures on Sweetestmemories

« Love in the Year of the Tiger (虎年之恋)Yes, I am proud to be Jordanian »

Nothing wrong with Judging!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Tuesday, April 22, 2008 4:38:09 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4421) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5

    Rated 4.5/5 stars (48 votes cast)

    People, stop being such babies. OK? Don't use arguments like "Judging" EVER! Don't cry "Don't judge me" to anyone. Grow up!

    Judging is what we do as humans. We are all in a continuous process of JUDGING everything and everyone around us. This is the quintessential human skill that has helped humans become the dominant species on the face of this planet. It's what keeps us safe, because we JUDGE. It's the base of the legal and justice system JUDGIN! Your best friend!

    Here's what's wrong, and SHOULD NEVER be practiced, Prejudging, or prejudice. That's what's WRONG, and that's what people should say when they don't want people to judge them.

    This is not the first time I talk about this. But I guess it's a necessary evil. People seem to keep forgetting what it means to judge.

    Through the human history, people made decisions (judged) based on their knowledge and interaction with their environments. The end result? We're still alive on the face of this planet, although that's not a great feat since we've been around for less than 40k years in our current form. That's less than a fraction of a second in the age of this planet. Just imagine that the dinosaurs populated this planet for over 125million years. More than 3100 times more than the whole history of humanity.

    Judging is what we do when we decide that we like someone, or something. It's exactly the same process of hating something or someone. Judging is what helps us stay out of trouble. It's an intrinsic property of our cognitive process.

    Prejudging, is like judging a book by it's cover, or title. Although, some people are smart enough, or experienced enough to really judge books by their covers. 99.99% of the population of the planet are not of them. Chances are, if you're reading this, you're not one of them. however, in the unlikely occasion that you are one of them, then you'll know that this is worth reading

    So next time a someone cries "don't judge me"  like a little girl, tell them grow up. We all judge. And sadly, we all prejudge, just make sure that you judge more than you prejudge!

    Other Memories Documented on April 22
    « Love in the Year of the Tiger (虎年之恋)Yes, I am proud to be Jordanian »

    Memories....

    • #1
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 8:07:32 AM
    It's hard to be always fair  :$ Another human trait  :(  May God forgive us..
    • #2
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 9:18:27 AM
    In some occasions though, when a person says "don't judge me" it is actually "you don't know enough / don't have supporting evidence to judge me".

    And some judgments are not the best thing on earth, and the continent you currently reside in is a prime example!

    But it is what we do and we should live with it, and we can always judge back, it is a two-way street! LoL!

    Guys
    If it walks like a duck
    Quacks like a duck
    Looks like a duck
    and smells like a duck
    Then it's a duck! That's judgement
    example
    If a woman says her husband is stupid!
    It would be prejudice to believe that he's stupid
    It would be judging to think that she's rude.

    Do you see the difference?

    as the tat on my friend's back says: the Lord can only Judge me..

    we shudnt judge, generalize, stereotype or be prejudice, but u know what? not everything we shud do we do, and vice versa.. its a 'souseh' feek t2oul. the way i see our psychology working is this: when ur prejudice or when u judge and criticize, it gives u a sense of satisfaction bout urself. coz ur focusing on someone else's faults for a change and that sends the warped msg to ur subconscious that ur better than them sicne ur not what they r, or doing what they're doing.

    Proud Pali, allow me to stress few things here, and please accept my disagreement as my opinion on this matter which might be right with a possibility of it being wrong, while yours is wrong with the possibility of it being right :) (I'll give you a minute to wrap your mind around that)....

    Everyone judges, it's our nature. Stereotyping is a whole other story. Stereotyping is expecting specific characteristics from specific people regardless of their individuality

    Judging is a positive thing, prejudging is not. Generalizing is also a good thing, the devil of course is in the details. Generalizing is easy, calculating all possibilities, is not

    Let me make this even easier. A guy cheats on his wife, that makes him a cheater. That's JUDGING! calling ALL Men cheaters is Stereotyping. But something like You saw a man, then you thought, he must be cheating. That's prejudging. I hope that helps

    in your last 'example' if i may call it that, that is not judging, thats calling il a3war a3war bi 3eino, ur giving his act a name. he is a cheater.

    prejudging is just dumb. bas thats the way our brains function SOMETIMES, bikun fi in6iba3 musbaq, biwalled nufoor, biwalled ta3meem, so we can protect ourselves in the way that we wont think ppl have any good intentions bil mu7asseleh we wont get disappointed.

    and lol ana jama3tun kellun, prejudice, w stereotyping and criticizing and judging, for future posts :D
    • #7
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 11:18:55 AM
    Qwaider, but a prejudice can be a judgment in the eyes of someone else. In your example, the wife calls her husband stupid. Believing it is prejudice, saying she is rude is judgment. If he is indeed stupid, it is judgment, but doesn't make her any less rude to point it out. You're trying to make concrete out of subjective terms here
    • #8
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 11:26:10 AM
    I also would like to elaborate on "Judging is what we do when we decide that we like someone, or something. It's exactly the same process of hating something or someone. Judging is what helps us stay out of trouble"

    Judging in this case is looking at emperical evidence and/or using logic in order to reason the best (or only) course of action. Like for instance you need a reason to love/hate someone, but when emotion is involved you need to know that reason mixes with opinion to for the judgment.

    Judgment is what helps us stay out of trouble and misjudging (which is a judgment whose outcome is not desired) gets us in trouble. As humans, prejudice does cloud our judgment often even if reason/logic should negate that effect. Add personal opinion on that matter (nothing really to do with prejudice) and you have a judgment that is based on many factors.

    Like I said, you're toying with subjective words here. But I understand what you're aiming at: That what we should do is strip away the connotations and look at the stem of the word, and act on it.
    • #9
    • Nada
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 11:33:34 AM
    You cannot make judgment unless you study and analyze a situation, a judge never announces his/her judgment unless he/she listens to all the evidences and the sides of the story; however, it does not make our judgment right or wrong, actually I think that we cannot even say if a judgment is right or wrong because a personal touch has to prevail in our judgment, besides it is a matter of experience.
    I never thought about it the way you did, but I always believed that I don't want any person to judge me for my past, for the mistakes I did or the person I was, so I am not sure where this shall fall under your categorization?
    • #10
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 1:24:16 PM
    Nada, the problem with people is that past behavior is typically used as an indication of future behavior, unless the person underwent some significant personality change, or said behavior has been altered because of growing up/experience.

    I personally don't want to be judged on my past and it pisses me off that people do, because I have significantly changed in the past 3 years. But then again I cannot blame them nor do I find any further reason to be pissed, and all I need to do is know to myself that I am different and people will gradually remove their past impressions and replace them with new ones.

    But I believe that regardless of personality change there is always a stem character that doesn't change.

    In any case I think Qwaider is using the example of people judging others as a more common symptom of a greater issue, which has been reiterated before in the form of bias, prejudice, bigotry, etc.
    • #11
    • Nada
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 2:06:07 PM
    KJ, Yes you are right, there is always stem character that does not change, but we are also human beings who are mixtures of good and evil, and u might be really surprised how bad you can get and how good you can turn :)we all do change, I did change tremendously, that i wonder sometimes who was that girl, ofcourse i don't hate her, because i would not have been the person I am now if i did not did what i did ;)but what matters that people don't judge you unless they deal with you, and here i don't mean this casual relationships, you need to really know the person in order to judge his/her behavior, it does not come out of one-time encounter or one word or one reaction, though they say that first impression is realaly effective, it is not necessary true.
    • #12
    • MD
    • Suse OS Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 2:31:05 PM
    I think that when someone says "you cant judge me" they mean "come live my life and then lets see what you will do". and then they do have some point in it. people act now depending on their experience and environment is and was. and then maybe you (the one who judged badly) will act the same as they do if you really lived their life. But still judging is very needed, otherwise people will never learn and develop.
    • #13
    • 4 gotton
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/22/2008 4:10:11 PM
    WE ALL KNOW THAT THE ULTIMATE JUDGE IS ALLAH,SWT,But in this earth we do judge on people mostly because in our mind that is what we want to beleive.If we judge according to the actions they do and what we can see, touch, and smell, the judgement becomes more real to us. If we judge by assuming we know- then our thoughts get scammbled and our judgement is only our own illusions.I will be honest here and say i do judge people alot i am a natural analyzer and a critic, But i always try to get all the facts before i judge and i always try to use my senses to do it, Now i wont say this is right or wrong, but thats what i do. And in reality before we judge we can look at the actions not the rumors, not the outside things of a person -like  the cover of a book. As far a predudice goes to me it is a horrible disease. We humans encounter  this in our daily lives, I guess if we are more aware  of the impact it does to the other , or if we face it ourselves then it would make a better world to live in. But we dont, and life goes on. All we can really do so we dont just judge people- Is try to get to know them better and deeper. Ask open ended questions, Find out what makes them tick.I think if one cared enough to judge then one can care to know why they judged in  the first place.
    ProudPali
    That is still judging
    And yes, that is exactly my point, prejudging is bad. Lets focus on that. Judging, if done right, is good.
    Now, prejudging may or may not lead to stereotyping. But they're not really related.

    KJ#1
    Ya zalameh, you're having a field day, aren't you!
    Prejudice is judging based on no or little details. Actually it's one of the worst things anyone can practice.
    It may be judgement in someone's eyes, but that's exactly what we -as educated people- need to draw the distinction. If people are coming up with conclusions about others even before thinking of them, we shouldn't call that judging, we shouldn't demonize judging like that
    If the husband is indeed stupid. That's probably because he ended up with a disrespectful wife like that :). If he was stupid indeed, we really can't tell, it's a third person account in our perspective and therefore WE can't judge because we have little context even if he was indeed stupid.
    As for her being rude, that's what WE can conclude because that's what she decided to share with us. Therefore WE are judging her actions that WE witnessed.
    Actually, prejudice is not very subjective. It's really clear. Now judging, that requires a lot of consideration

    KJ#2
    Here, you're right, finding evidence, using logic and reasoning, those are first steps in judging. Some people prefer living with the person for few years.
    Misjudging is another thing we throw here. When we judge we MAY be wrong. While in prejudice we're ALWAYS WRONG, it doesn't matter if we turn out to be right, it is still wrong.
    And yes, we need to strip away the cliches that have been continuously shoved down our throats and look at the correct meanings. Judging, is good. Prejudging, is BAD BAD BAD

    Nada#1
    That is true, and that is exactly what I'm trying to let people know. Prejudging is apparent, it's coming to conclusions without enough context. However Judging means a lot more. There are steps that needs to be taken before we can judge, one of these is to actually give the person a chance to explain.
    Our judgement may be right or wrong, as I said, but prejudging is ALWAYS wrong.

    People use judgement to know what to expect. When we ask someone to make their best judgement. We are really asking them to evaluate the risk and make a guess.
    Sadly, our past is like a window to our future, it may be the way for someone to tell how you will function under certain circumstances. But I totally believe in giving the people a chance to explain, so we shouldn't hang people by their actions (unless they really deserve it)
    At the end we are human, we have to take what we see based on the evidence. If we don't want to judge anyone then all the rapists and murderers will end up roaming the streets and doing things over and over and over
    If we don't judge a bad husband and kick him out of our lives, he will continue to make it a living hell
    If we don't judge our selves, we will never progresses

    KJ#3
    Thanks for taking the time to answer Nada, much appreciated.

    Nada#2
    Yes, we can change, but judging someone's actions who used to be bad, and turn good, makes you maintain a certain degree of guard. You don't let go completely and stay on the look out for signs of trouble. Which is a good thing.
    I'm happy to hear that you have changed to something like better now, but it's your process of judging the actions of that girl that got you where you are. Don't you think? What you did was long and hard but it started with judging yourself as being, not up to what you think of yourself.
    You really don't need to know the person to judge them. Their actions speak louder, and here's another thing that is very important, we shouldn't judge PEOPLE, we need to be judging ACTIONS.
    First impressions are REALLY the essence of prejudice.

    MD
    I agree, that's what people think. What we need to focus on the bigger picture. For example, a stripper can't expect me to live her life and then judge her. She selected that path, her actions speak louder than any judgement. I still won't judge her by the way until I find things that relate to me, but would I judge her shame gland to be nonexistent? Yes, that I can, I can see the evidence.
    And totally agree with you, we just can't exist without judging.

    4gotton
    Yes, God is the ultimate judge, thank you for sharing your input
    ya zalameh your first sentence is a generalized judgment ;)
    LOL!!! hahahahaha Mohanned ... You're the man!
    Sure we all automatically judge, but I think the use of the phrase "Who are you to judge me" is meant for when someone voluntarily shares their judgment with you when it was uncalled for, not asked for, and generally unwanted.
    • #18
    • Budoor
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/23/2008 4:34:52 PM
    makin decisions and judging are two different things altogether
    Judging shud only be done by a someone with authortity....
    whereas decisions are NOT JUDGEMENTS
    Only Allah the almighty should be judging
    we as humans do not have the right to judge...
    It is not proper to say that if we do something on a daily basis, like judging others than we are right
    They say repeating a lie over and over again makes it the truth, to the ignorant.
    I am sorry but I seem to disagree with your point.
    • #19
    • Budoor
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 4/23/2008 4:45:10 PM
    IT is only fair to judge if we are  perfect and do not make mistakes.
    But since we are humans and "to Err is human"
    we do not have the right to judge nobody.
    NObody is superior enough to judge any1 else.
    Nothing justifies that passing judgments is alright.
    tayeb why are judging?? 3an jad balahi!
    enno shouldn't we start with ourselves first?? enno no1 is perfect, in most cases people don't do it the "nice" way, they do it to prove or try to prove that they are better, or do prove that we are bad!!! we all make mistakes, nobody and i mean nobody is in a position to judge us, i would simply tell them, judge urself first!!
    i'm not being childish nor silly, bs ma 7ada elo el 7a2 ye7kom 3alai, i don't even know myself, how about other people???
    Everyone judges, and of course I am one of them, and I ALWAYS judge wrong... I know myself, I think a person is nice, he turns out to be an ***, I think a person is rude, I find out they are ethical and straight forward...
    Yeah, we all judge! I do it all the time, and I will not stop anytime soon
    You too can have your Memories Documented

    Country:

    HTML has been disabled but if you wish to add any hyprlinks or text formating you can use any of the following codes: [B]bold text[/B], [I]italic text[/I], [U]underlined text[/U], [S]strike through text[/S], [URL]http://www.yourlink.com[/URL], [URL=http//www.yourlink.com]your text[/URL]

    Whisper (your comment will not be displayed)

    Please refer to Commenting policy


    Notify me of follow-up comments by email
    « Love in the Year of the Tiger (虎年之恋)Yes, I am proud to be Jordanian »
    Read by:
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • KJ-
  • |
  • sara-
  • |
  • wonders-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(86)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Anisa-
  • |
  • Guests(25)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guests(315)-
  • |
  • Guests(6)-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(348)-
  • |
  • MD-
  • |
  • ياسمين حميد-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(30)-
  • |
  • Rasha "The caller "-
  • |
  • TripleM-
  • |
  • Guests(6)-
  • |
  • Guests(10)-
  • |
  • KJ-
  • |
  • laila-
  • |
  • MD-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(165)-
  • |
  • Adoosh-
  • |
  • Guests(94)-
  • |
  • i agree-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(6)-
  • |
  • Guests(6)-
  • |
  • Guests(49)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guests(12)-
  • |
  • aya-
  • |
  • Guests(19)-
  • |
  • Hani Obaid-
  • |
  • Lost Within-
  • |
  • Nada-
  • |
  • Princess N-
  • |
  • Sana-
  • |
  • Guests(21)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(20)-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Summer-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(7)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(8)-
  • |
  • Budoor-
  • |
  • Guests(5)-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(81)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(3)-
  • |
  • Guests(8)-
  • |
  • Guests(11)-
  • |
  • Guests(19)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-
  • |
  • Guests(7)-
  • |
  • Guests(98)-
  • |
  • Guests(20)-
  • |
  • Guests(31)-
  • |
  • Guests(4)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(7)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(25)-
  • |
  • Guests(30)-
  • |
  • Guests(19)-
  • |
  • Guests(60)-
  • |
  • 4 gotton-
  • |
  • Faisal-
  • |
  • Fire-Faten-
  • |
  • Guests(2515)-
  • |
  • hamede-
  • |
  • mab3oos-
  • |
  • Maioush-
  • |
  • Mohanned-
  • |
  • nobody-
  • |
  • ProudPali-
  • |
  • secratea-
  • |
  • Guests(26)-
  • |
  • Guests(32)-
  • |
  • Guest-
  • |
  • Guests(2)-