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Don't mean to be homophobic but this is too much!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Monday, April 07, 2008 3:15:41 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (6229) times

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    Rated 4.8/5 stars (95 votes cast)

    Over a year ago, we went through a huge fiasco over addition of Jordanian Gay blogs. Back then I resorted to the readers to help me make a tough decision and it was very painful really due to my firm belief of freedom of speech and expression. Of course in responsible ways.

    The result was that i followed the wisdom of the masses and refrained from adding Jordanian gay blogs. But that isn't the whole story, I have been allowing certain blogs which has homosexual users on without making too much fuss about them, mainly because I didn't find anything wrong with them. They talked about everyday matters, and matters regarding their sexual orientation popped up from time to time without being the center of the universe.

    And then there were others....

    This time, the subjects were sexual in nature, that was the whole story, the whole idea. Sex, sex, sex! And that's why I hate these blogs, because they require so much maintenance from any site owner to clean and sometimes delete the excessively sexual content.

    There are many issues to talk about, and sex is not a bad subject to talk about. It's ok, talk about it all you like, but unfortunately, a sad trend I found was the focus on sexual content, body parts, and certain disgusting twists on the matter that are neither informative, or even funny! It's just being used in that format, cheap thrills!

    I'm starting to regret allowing such blogs and I'm not sure I am going to continue to do so in the future. My experience has not been very positive and I'm again at a cross roads between my principles of giving people a voice, and the recklessness of cheap thrills ...

    Other Memories Documented on April 07
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    • #1
    • Moey
    • Apple Mac Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2008 3:45:42 AM
    LGBT people are fun, I just found out that many of them are fans of my blog for some reason and some others hate my gutts, they throw darts at my photos.

    However, I have many friends from that community and they are cool, at least they express their sex needs.
    You know, even straight men and women don't express their sexual needs and desires so openly. If that was the case I would be writing 300 posts a day about this. But It's just inappropriate
    It's  not suitable in a collections of blogs because you know there are children who are reading this stuff and I hold my self accountable towards not having these kids exposed to anything inappropriate
    • #3
    • Moey
    • Apple Mac Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2008 3:52:35 AM
    tab create a +18 section and add them to it, or make a new section with a warning. 7aramm!
    LOL :) I like the idea ... Thanks, I'll think about it :)

    Mab3oos, this exactly what I predicted here: http://blog.sweetestmemories.com/default.asp?Display=1129

    yeah. Thats why got you the link. I knew all about your predictions.
    Whisperer
    Thank you for such a long and detailed comment.
    I actually do have a policy for Qwaider Planet that is focuses on the supporting connective job that QP does for the Arab blogger community.

    It's not actually related to the folks you mentioned. They have been playing really nice with everyone. But others have not been and I have been running around deleting one article after the other that has explicit material.
    Anyway, I think this is what I want to do, I will continue like this for a while leaving a mental note and every time I see something like that I will remove it, up until a certain limit and then I will not hesitate to remove them at that point
    I am not a fan of the gay community however i am willing to respect their freedom on one condition which is that they respect mine.
    y3ny I really really really don't want to know about their sexual adventures and fantacies only because I also don't want to know about a straight person's sexual life.
    • #11
    • MD
    • Suse OS Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2008 11:19:18 AM
    Don't you have some rules governing your site? something like No Porn? No filthy Sex discussions? its that easy, break the rule and your out. Don't look at them as gays or straights. make a rule and deal with all the same way. I think that gays talk more about sex because their feelings are more hidden and compressed than straight people specially in Arab community, so it can be a normal result to extremely express things when no one is watching. If only the Arab community knew how to deal with them.
    So let me get this straight, you are deleting post from your aggregator because you don't agree with the content or the ideas discussed in them ?
    and you make it sound they are posting some pornographic and visually explicit material? is that really the case ?
    If they are discussing sex in the social and psychological aspect and reflecting their own thoughts in there post is that really crossing the line or exposing us to a new point of view that we shunned away. hell even a funny video about sex (notice about without actual sex being involved) is refreshing in my view

    either way not much to say here, your aggregator your rules. although i would refrain from trying to shove it all on them. I've seen post that are a lot more explicit and sexual in nature from other blogger with no censorship done to them but you are deciding to single them out. thats how i see it.

    man its weird...
    I have this draft post about gay and gay bloggers in middle east and I've been waiting to gather more information about the topic of being gay in the ME...its really weird to think of the same topic at the same time..I think I'm spending too much time on your blog ;)..
    anyway, I've been writing about how open minded I found my self and how I dealt with gay people in my lifetime as a teenager and as a young man.
    I even posted on my blog asking "what is it like to be a gay?"
    http://www.triplem.host.sk/?p=113
    It isn't my first time to be posting about gay people. it all stated when I found a video on YouTube about Egyptian gay man who enjoy living in Canada with his partner and how his mother reacted when she knew about his sexual orientation toward men.
    http://www.triplem.host.sk/?p=106
    My experience with gay people doesn't end here, soon I'll be posting it.
    I know its not my business to discuss the life of other people and I also know that I'm not supposed to judge people..they are just people like you and me..think it that why...believe me, you don't want to be judged by other people

    لسانك لا تذكر به عورة امرئ *** فكلك عورات والناس ألسن
    وعينك ان أبدت اليك معائبا *** فدعهاوقل يا عين للناس أعين

    • #14
    • Samar
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2008 5:54:32 PM
    bambam, may i propose for gays to launch a JordanGayBlogs site where they discuss sexually explicit content. And for their non-sexual blogs, they are welcome to join the rest of us who don't believe porno topics and sexual acts in public are protected or respected free speech and free expression. If you think France will let you have sex in the open or walk naked, think again. But since we are more conservative than France, expect us to draw our own lines a bit narrower.
    I have nothing against people being gay but sometimes they take it to a new level ..I do not need to know where u hang out to hook up or what u do when u go out in obscene details or what is the gay club in Jordan !!
    Any blog or site with sexual contents , wheter gay or straight , should be marked so that people wud know what they are going to see ...I remember once they proposed the idea of such sites ending with .XXX or sth like that but dunno what happened to that idea !!  
    Wonders
    Exactly, of all the taboos in the society this is one that I'm not really going to cross or delve into publicly. At least not in that fashion

    MD
    I do have rules, but it's like the fine print. People don't read the fine print.
    As for the gays issues, they're OK to discuss them, but just as any discussion with straight people, they can leave the juicy bits out. Or at least make them occasional

    Bambam
    Hey bambam, long time no see.. I missed you
    Yes, I have removed some and added notices to others. It's not that I don't agree with the content, it's that I don't find the content appropriate for younger audiences, and think the masses would find it offensive.
    As I said, if people want to discuss sex in an abstract way that is fine, but everyone, straight people included can spare us the explicit details.
    Anyway, it's not mine, I do manage it, but it's by the people for the people. I'm just the facilitator
    And by the way, if you find any posts that you deem inappropriate or offensive then let me know. I can't do everything you know, and would rely on people's best judgement to assist me

    TripleM
    All of what you mentioned is fine, I actually don't have any issues with people discussing the matter in a civilized way. It's the offensive bits (gay or not) that concern me.

    Samar
    There is one already it's called, Jordan Free voices.
    It's interesting that France won't allow a woman to walk with her head scarf while allowing someone to roam around naked. Interesting point

    Lost Within
    Yeah, they refused that idea. But blogs are different. You can't expect blogspot to spend the time and energy to mark blogs. It's people who flag certain blogs in that way.
    And yeah, there's nothing against anyone being whatever they want. But spare us the explicit details
    samar honey you are jumping to conclusions there that are unwarranted. that aside, although i believe that i wrote in English and you are writing in English but i guess you have to work on your comprehension skills because without you calling me out by name i would have never knew that you are replying to my comment. how the hell does your twisted mind connect fornicating in the street with being gay or advocating for free speech, i guess the true meaning and purpose of words flies over your head if you ask me.
    btw don't bother replying.

    Q
    while i do agree about adults putting some effort in protecting underage kids, the main burden falls upon the parents unless you are going to sanitize the internet :D
    asking others to protect their children is like a bank saying the liability for the money that it loses and gets stolen falls upon the clients and they  should be at fault.
    and if the masses find it offensive they can choose to ignore it, take my posts for examples... i don't think the masses like em much and hence they ignore and save me the hassle.

    Bambam
    RE: your reply to Samar;
    I will not allow anyone to make silly remarks against other people like that, That's not appropriate and beside the point. If you have a point to tackle, tackle it and leave the people outside of it

    As for me, I will do my part, I will help the parents in these conditions. Consider it like your financial advisor instead of a bank. Who would help you make the right decisions on issues that you don't know. That's where I will stand with the parents and people who find these issues offensive.
    Yes, people can choose to ignore it once they are properly warned of the content. I don't want to ambush people into going to these articles on some blogs.

    • #19
    • i agree
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/7/2008 11:33:54 PM
    Rarely do i agree with you, but i'm with you on this one. Has anyone noticed the ad frequently showing up on jordanblogs.com?
    What's the ad "I agree"?
    • #21
    • i agree
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/8/2008 12:03:11 AM
    it's for a gay dating/matching site.
    That is so weird, I didn't see that one before. This is one of the major issues with any online advertising endeavour. Control over the content.
    But this is also highly influenced by the kind of searches people do on sites. So you know, it's like people did this and others are getting the effect of it.

    I will see what I can do about that
    Ok quing is here and he got something to say, his blog is a gay blog and it's not explicit and when he did a post about something that he thought that's it's not so appropriate he warned others about it,
    and I think having the freedom to be who we are and mingle in the community without being labeled specially at a place where people should be respecting people like me who actually cares about others ...
    some people just can't understand that gays are not a fiends hungry for sex all the time and they should understand that they are human and they actually feel and think and know what's right and what's wrong, and liking something over something just because the rest of the culture refuse it doesn't mean that it's totally wrong I know that everyone will say now that I'm gay and it's wrong, but hey I CAN'T HELP IT IT'S JUST HOW I WAS BORN, anyway someone here said who I can't remember ... there should be a warning over explicit materials and bloggers should watch their language and their posts ... because there are some kids who might be watching and reading even if there parents were strict, we all know that these little monsters are capable of making some people suffer and reaching a website wouldn't be so hard for them at such time and I'm sure that most of them are watching porn at the age of 12 if not less ... the point is that we just should refuse the sexual posts for both straights and gays and we shouldn't label anyone on a free blog which I think we all are the same here, we are just some people who have feelings and want to express them under hidden names , without showing our faces sometimes because it's safe...so let's keep it that way.

    and omg this is something longer than what I would ever post or actually type lol. just chill out guys and let it pass.
    Quing,
    You don't need to give a speech on gay's rights or what or what they are not. This is not about that and no body is getting in "your business". But for the love of god, there are people who are REALLY not interested in getting sexual tips from anyone and there are people who might consider certain sites kid safe.
    Many don't want to be booby-trapped into getting to sites and then realizing that this is really what they don't want to read. But the damage would already be done

    I would like to ask everyone to really be considerate. Write about whatever you want, but leave the details away. It doesn't matter if you're straight or gay. Just leave those nasty details away!
    I didn't want it to sound like a speech but actually I just wanted to say what's on my mind qwaider as long as I don't hurt anyones feelings , and of course I expect the same treatment from everyone else.
    and you have the total right to ask people to be considerate since I feel the same way,but you don't need to label .. and you have the right to ask to let the nasty stuff away, since I personally try to since I don't think anyone really cares unless they are sick or something :S.
    • #26
    • i agree
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/9/2008 1:20:21 AM
    Quider man, that gay ad is showing up on your blog as well!
    • #27
    • Moey
    • Apple Mac Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/9/2008 1:54:29 AM
    Google catches tags from your phrases/posts and advertise. hence the words mentioned here
    I will not allow anyone to make silly remarks against other people like that, That's not appropriate and beside the point.

    I didn't instigate it, i only replied to it. she replied to my post with a tone that i didn't appreciate and content unrelated to what i commented with and involved france out of the bloom in the middle of it all... never mind that there was some tactic slander thrown in there for good measure and you commended her :D so I just gave her a taste of her own medicine thats all, and i see that as my right to defend my ideas in a manner that i deem suitable to make my point and hence my comment was lashing.


    ps. it's gay ad day on sweetmemories
    Bambam,
    Your  response was way more than what she said. She had a tone you had a whole set of words and sentences. It's just good to remind people when they have taken it over the top

    And yeah, I noticed, I've been trying to clean/ban these up .. but dang google!
    • #30
    • On a cloud
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/9/2008 9:47:34 PM
    It's either you chose Allah who said NO to homosexuality, or be an open-minded, cool, educated, cultured and yeah modern and start expecting them. They are not OK. Homosexuality is not OK, never been and will never become. Who knows, maybe one day having a relationship with one's brother or sister will be the norm.
    It's a new world indeed!
    It's nothing new. People used to marry their sisters before religions came. A man could marry a woman and her sister before Islam. Even prophets did it and it was allowed.

    Times have changed, we no longer have to agree with someone all the time and about everything. They can go on minding their own business while I mind my own
    sure qwaider I liked ur comment and on a cloud or maybe something else..plz don't involve religion in such conversation because I mostly don't consider this a religious issue i like to separate them from each other.
    • #33
    • On a cloud
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 4/12/2008 8:30:49 PM
    Qwaider I failed to get your point.
    So do you agree with homos? I though you are a Muslim, and once you say that you are Muslim, you have to follow the whole thing, you don't mix and match what you like from the religion and skip what you don't.

    The time has changed, but the principles of the religion didn't. Like if people started to marry their mothers, would you say well I don't mind. I'll just mind my own business and bury my head in the sand. You seem to believe in the imprisoned blogger more than your religion's basic issues.
    Islam came and changed the old rituals and traditions, so you are bringing up irrelevant examples.
    I don't mean to be harsh. I now that I do have a booked spot in hell "plz God don't listen to this part and make it in heaven :D", but I don't think that I am able to say well,, homosexuality is OK as long as they don't bother me. They can still be homos, don't bother me but I still have the right to disagree with them.
    Quing
    It doesn't have to do with religion. It's our mentality that needs reform. If we look deep in the religion. We'll find ways to cope

    On a Cloud
    My point is that religions teaches us tolerance and promotes understanding, tolerance and coexistence. If there is an exception to thess broad rules, then we need to look into it more and reevaluate our position.

    The societies have been more accepting to change, and allowing some of it to influence even religion. I wouldn't go to an extreme like people marrying their own mothers. But small things have changed.

    My relationship with my religion is a very deep one, and I do it for the seeking the forgiveness and acceptance of Allah, not anyone. I'm really sorry, but you're not in a position to actually bring that up.

    I never said I approve of homosexuality, but again, there are things that I can control, and things that I can't. Homosexuality has been there since he dawn of an kind, it represents a specific desire of some to engage in activities their way. Whether you, me the whole universe agree that it shouldn't happen. There will be people still doing it behind closed doors. Well, if I exchange tolerance with these folks with them staying away from me, my family and people who are not interested. Then that's a good deal in my opinion.

    On the other hand, I don't see Gays and Lesbians fit to raise children. And if I have an opportunity I will not allow it or condone it in anyway. That's not being anti-gay, that's being anti-messing-up-with-the-minds-of-little-kids
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