The things we do in the name of love
Today, another friend of mine showed up in veil. In a decision she apparently took to please her -almost- fiance.
I was a little bit in disbelief as I know the kind of bubbly, easy going, outgoing, progressive personality that she had. She has argued in the past with people against the veil, and today she's proudly wearing it.
I couldn't stop myself from asking her and trying to understand what happened. I'm not against Hijab in anyway, but I'm against people doing these things just to please others and not out of belief.
We talked and talked, and the conclusion was that she did it for him, and she's happy to see him happy.
That didn't settle very well with me. I felt that her identity was raped, she's not even the same person anymore. She's an extension of his ego. (And I guess you can tell I'm not a big fan of him)
We left, and everyone went his merry way, as I was getting into my car, I spotted the fiance picking my friend up and he has changed something in the way he looks. He has cut is very long pony tail and looks a lot like a decent fellow (LOL, he is a decent guy, but I don't like him that much)
As I pondered on the whole matter, I realized that he always boasted his long hair, and how it took forever to grow. (And how everyone teased him about it when he travelled back home). I SMSed my friend saying "He cut his hair!!?", she replied, "for me".
A lightning bolt hit my brains as I was driving down the highway, I suddenly realized that everything I once believed might not be the full story. And that maybe there's nothing wrong with a girl getting veiled for the person she loves.
We see it everyday. Guys going on diets for their wives. Girls, wearing their long hair in the specific style her husband loves. The list of things we do for the people we love is so long that it will take me forever to collect them. Then how is getting veiled for the sake of the guy she loves, wrong!? Why is it wrong?
Three of my friends have married Christian Americans, in two cases the ladies converted and live a very devout Islamic lives. They did it for their families, for the ones they love.
I know doing a religion ritual is supposed to be always absolutely for the sake of god. But I also don't find anything wrong with people encouraging a specific ritual. We all do it, all the time, on just about anything and everything that we touch or effect in our environment.
I guess, this specific freedom, the freedom to dress as one like, is another thing that I will not be bothering with anymore. Even the silly question "Are you sure" is no longer appropriate. But It took me all these years to realize that.