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« Visiting the elderlyHappy Easter, or is it Ashoura?! »

And now she remembers

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Sunday, March 23, 2008 10:02:56 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (3744) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (105 votes cast)

    It's been almost a decade since I've last seen Lulu (not her real name), 10 years. Since I had to swallow my pride and my shame and walked away for the last time. I remember how much poetry I wrote and posted on the walls and corridors for her to completely ignore. I remember how I had to endure the eyes of so many as I tried and tried to get closer to "my angel" and failed, miserably

    Or so I thought....

    Couple of days ago, I got a request to add someone to my Messenger. I was reluctant but in the request there were details that ensure that it's actually someone who knows me.

    I added that person and started the whole discussion with "Who are you?" as politely as I can ask that question. I am really not very excited to add more freaks to my Messenger. Last time I added someone she turned out to be a psychopathic delusional schizophrenic who ended up imagining things and writing them online. So I wasn't very excited to repeat the same drama.

    It took less than 10 words for me to recognize her. We talked and talked and talked. It was like finding a long lost relative. It was wonderful to connect again, it was magical.

    The magic soon wore off as my mind started to wonder what happened?, why now? What compelled her only now to seek me out when I was ready to do anything, give up everything for her many years ago.

    Many things have changed since that time, I'm not the same person. I'm no longer that simple, I'm no longer that naive.

    So I asked about certain things that happened back then, and I was surprised with the amount of details she remembered, what I was wearing. How my hair looked, the exact location where I hanged what and where... 

    I was in shock! If you cared so much, why did you pretend not to care? Why did  you make me suffer so much and feel so rejected when I really was not. Or maybe I was, and things changed.

    I entertained the idea of going along with the tantalizing experience but the more I heard from her, the more I started to feel that I am faced with this in just about every relationship I ever had in my life. Women (and this is a generalization, but I don't care) Women, don't show what they really feel. They don't communicate what they want. They try to add value for them selves by portraying someone or something else. Only time was able to expose the true intentions

    As a kid at that time, I had no way of knowing her intentions, or what she thinks of me. All I felt was the cold, painful knife of rejection ...

    Morale of the story,

    1. Women are almost always liars about their emotions. They can't but lie, they're afraid to be exposed. Just like men lie about their relationships, women lie and hide their emotions.
    2. Women don't even know what the hell they want, yet somehow expect men to know. And get exceedingly mad that we don't understand
    3. Communication is key, that's something every woman should understand. WE ARE TRYING to hear you, but what the hell are you saying!?
    4. Anyone who says when a woman says no it means no. Punch them in the face!

    So what did I decide? :) , if you still need to ask this question, you didn't read the part about "I'm no longer that same person". There was a time where I would have stood on one knee and kissed her hands and feet. That was a long time ago

     

    Other Memories Documented on March 23
    « Visiting the elderlyHappy Easter, or is it Ashoura?! »

    Memories....

    Whisperer
    it's a firefox issue
    I recommend you click the roller on your mouse to open in a new tab. Or click both keys at the same time to open a new tab
    • #3
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 3/23/2008 10:26:52 AM
    Qwaider, I promise you I'm not a liar.. Howeverr, I know a lotta female friends whom happen to be liars to the core.. I'm sorry to state this fact.. They're waaaaaaaaay more than the truthful ones..  :(
    ahhh, i bet she's a sagi ;)
    ProudPali, No actually she's a Gemini May 30th. Yeah, I still remember! I remember everything about her. Every tiny detail, every thing!
    Qwaider


    To try and understand all women is impossible !! Take my word for it, but you can try and understand one women, its not going to be easy but its very rewarding. but there are general rules for all women that can help navigate the mystery sees: ) and the golden tip when in doubt give her a compliment ; p  

    Just a tip of the iceberg the same thing " word or action" may mean different things, depends who we are saying them to, see NO to one person  really means NO, but to someone else it means try harder : ) and we expect you to tell the difference.
    • #9
    • hamza
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 3/23/2008 12:14:42 PM
    aha..so much to learn from in what I am going through.

    *adds the post to his favorites*
    I'm inclined to agree with you...I'd hate to be labelled a liar but I even find myself being dishonest with what I feel...but that is because one fears the consequences of these emotions. Particularly when one is young, it can be a gamble to entirely commit.
    • #11
    • Em
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 3/23/2008 1:38:50 PM
    Ah Qwaider... i was reading your post as if i had written it myself. but it was a BOY who did the same to me as your gemini girl did to you. and i'm still waiting for him to add me on msn one day so that i can i do what you did. its been five years of no contact. maybe in five years more he'll add me on msn one day.

    please, its not a woman thing. its a youth thing. its a lack of self esteem thing. i can't accept your generalizations about women!! :)
    I have issues with admitting what I  feel to my self in the first place let alone exposing my feelings to others ...I dumb it all on hormones coz that's what everything is in my age , I do not even allow my self to have stupid crushes on real people ! .... maybe she too thought what u felt for her was only hormonal anyhow she must have realized what she missed on or maybe , presuming that she is your age , she is just desperate , in our society's book a 30 year old single  lady is a spinster !

    excuse the cuckooness of this comment please :)
    • #13
    • afaf
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 3/23/2008 6:55:51 PM
    well, it is not liar thingy...it is the fact that men r from mars and women r from venus....believe me, i used to cry myself out, due to the fact that "why cannot he read me???"...then i read that book...and i simply realized that men see things differently from women...both could see or be in the same situation, and he would interepret it totally different if not opposite of how she does...
    so take my word, as much as u find it hard to understand women, and call them liars, which i disagree, we, women do the same, but we call u guys, cheaters.....
    end of story...
    and yeah reg sagi specs...since i am one, i know that sagi ppl know exactely what they want and hit it straightforward, out and loud, no back roads...just to clear the confusion!!!
    peace...
    • #14
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 3/23/2008 7:59:24 PM
    You know it is really sad that she's trying to rekindle an old relationship; I am not saying it is your fault or hers - that's your story to keep between the two of you.

    Your generalization holds true since I am living with one and I can't seem to understand her - and she's my sister. I do believe though it is also our job to make them understand us.

    If a woman fails to invest time in hearing you out and understanding you then there is no need to further reciprocate the effort. It is understandably much more difficult ending a relationship than enduring a tormenting one. It is just so goddamn hard to give up the memories and the effort put into something. But the road to a peaceful mind starts from understanding, and the road to understanding starts from listening, and the road to that starts from sharing.

    That's tough, but it is well worth it. There are warning signs, and since you said you're a changed man, I believe that you have seen them now when you have failed before.

    Sigh... I write essays, lol, damn literature course that preached I be concise when all I do is rebel against said rule. And I got an A! haha
    • #15
    • 4 gotton
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 3/24/2008 3:36:38 AM
    heres what i think.............
    YOU LOVED HER AND SHE WAS NOT SURE ABOUT YOU -YOU TRUSTED HER BUT SHE WAS AFRAID OF THE TRUTH. NOW ITS SO LATE AND THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED. YOU WOULD TAKE HER AGAIN BUT SHE IS NOT THE SAME EITHER.IM SURE YOU STILL GOT THAT MAGIC FEELING FOR HER BUT.............. YOU WOULD DEFINATLY NEED TO BE REASSURED THAT SHE CAN BE AS TRUE AS YOU. THE REASON WHY SHE CAME BACK IS------SHE FIGURED OUT WHAT SHE LOST AND THO ITS LATE NOW IT IS STILL NOT THE END THINGS ARE ALWAYS BETTER THE SECOND TIME AROUND, U KNOW WHY????????????? BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN FIGURE WHERE YOU STOOD AND WHERE YOU STAND NOW AND IN THE FUTURE.BY THE WAY MOST WOMAN DO KNOW WHAT WE WANT WE JUST NEED A COMMITMENT TO GET US OFF OUR FEET SO WE CAN SET OUR RELATIONS IN FULL FORCE.ITS ONLY MY OPINION
    yes women do lie about their emotions, when they are hurt they try to play strong, when they are jealous they try to hide it, and sometimes they even try to hide the fact that they are interested or in love with someone..
    but thats not because we are natural born lyers or that we like to play games with men, on the contrary, we realized that men are the ones who like to play these games..
    If the girl told you that she liked you before you would have lost interest very fast, but the fact that she didnt made you run after her and remember her even after all these years.. and to prove that, now that you know that she is interested, you justified yourself by saying that you are no longer that person, it might be true, but its not just that, its that they game is over therefore not interesting anymore... think about it..  
    • #17
    • Macker
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 3/26/2008 7:26:26 PM
    Man the same freakin' thing happened to me! the same same thing!

    She rejected and rejected and I was heart-broken to the limit. then,,,, she starts chasing me: I would be honored to be with you! achhh !!

    My Rule of Thumb: If she didn't empathize with my pain then, she is no longer worth thinking about!

    Good luck! ;)
    I hope people excuse us when we take these new found "affections" in a little bit of a suspicious way. I mean, it took someone how many years to realize what they missed!?
    Or is it because no one else cared to look their way and we're like "the backup"
    • #19
    • Macker
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 3/26/2008 10:39:40 PM
    I think the back-up theory applies well in my situation hahaha
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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