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« Not to brag or anything... butToot! »

Self hating culture

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Tuesday, February 05, 2008 11:18:32 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (6911) times

    • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.5/5 stars (81 votes cast)

    There are hardly any culture that hates itself as much as Arabs hate their own culture. It's one thing to be ashamed of someone, or a practice. But to hate the whole culture that's over the top!

    We all need to learn how to channel and focus our hate not only in a positive way but also place the blame on the person. Not everyone! Not the whole culture, not the whole society!

    If you know me well enough you would know that I have spared no one from well deserved criticism. Mostly in a generic way trying to blame the phenomena in order to evade an uncalled for confrontation with the person.

    Needless to say, it has been effective and for the most part, people who did practice a specific behavior mostly took note and understood that they might have been wrong in their practice. Some reformed, others exploded in my face, and many stopped even reading for me, because "everything I write pisses them off". Believe it or not that was exactly what a very close friend of mine told me. Maybe because I'm right, maybe because we believe differently. In any case, I tend to piss people off.

    I'm not going to be apologetic about this aspect because this is me, being as honest as I can be. Without specifying people or events that lead to more specifics.

    Anyway, it occurred to me that in this culture, we have the worst self haters. Instead of focusing on reform and addressing the issues, most focus on hating and blaming. A perpetual cycle of never ending hate.

    We all have the right to criticize, and expect result. We all have the right to look at what we're doing wrong and blame "it" for our backwardness instead of blaming our backwardness for "it"

    Yes, there are many men in this culture that need to be reformed, sometimes, demolished and rebuilt from scratch. That's what we need to do, not this whole culture is based on patriarchal system that gives birth to these individuals.

    I believe every culture has the seeds of greatness within it's walls, the failure is often in the implementation, not the design. In the way people understand things.

    Instead of hating the whole, fix the few, and the whole will follow.

    Other Memories Documented on February 05
    « Not to brag or anything... butToot! »

    Memories....

    I am among those who hates ALOT of things about our culture and I would love to fix. When I talk to people my own age about how we should be the ones to change everything that is wrong with our culture, since we are the future, and if we reject corruption, extremism etc ect, we can change the world (or at the very least, Jordan!).

    They laugh at me and tell me I am a dreamer.

    So not only are Arabs "self-hating" as you say, they are also lazy and good at talking, but no one is willing to put the effort in to find and/or implemet a solution!
    One person can inspire millions! Just keep at it! Maybe you will be that one person who will inspire millions.
    Just set the example! And direct it all in the right direction

    By the way, I took the liberty of changing all your comments to point to your new blog (every single one of you 113 comments are now pointing to your new blog) (3ala rasi)

    I have ways to help you as you have requested, I'll email you how.
    Q,
    Hating is not illegal, any one can hate as much as they want, they will never be tried or convicted for their hate. provided that hate doesn't turn violent then there is no harm done.I can hate you and conversely you can hate me and we both can hate every one else, nothing is going to happen and the world will continue functioning alright. I say that at a time when I'm not really much of a hater but at the same time I don't condemn hate nor do I loathe the people who self prescribe themselves as haters. At times I get bitter or even very bitter but I never allow my bitterness to turn into hate. Actually, I'm not sure about what hate is other than being a very strong feeling of dislike. Some people use a watered down diluted version of hate in their casual conversation. May be hate has lost its original meaning and people use it just to express some sort of dissatisfaction about something or the other.Any way in my opinion love and hate are very much synonymous since sometimes love turns into hate and vice versa.
    • #5
    • afaf
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 2/6/2008 1:43:15 AM
    Tolerance...Tolerance...Tolerance...
    u know why i like it here, cuz ppl simply LISTEN and they promise to ACT on it...i guess it is how we precieve critisizm and act on it...not to get mad and cuss everyone around u and blame them for whatever is wrong with u...adn i guess u r right, it is how we r taught to deal with it...so either family or society to blame for it!!!
    peace to all...
    Yay, tinkerbella is a princess now :)

    Qwaider, I remember several posts where you were criticising people who behave a certain way in general (eg. Arab Gods), and someone coming in and saying I know you mean me. Since the people get upset anyway, you might as well mention their name and have the confrontation anyway. You don't spare mentioning people when it's a good thing, why not the other way around ?

    I know we had previously agreed on attacking an idea and not the person, but this is kind of different. This is you thinking something about someone's behavior and keeping it to yourself out of politeness or is it to avoid headaches? Criticising someone's behaviour is not a personal attack, particularily since most of what you criticise will be based on ideas someone wrote.

    About hating your own culture, this is close to hating yourself. I just believe in what Whitney Houston sings about the greatest love of all. Learning to love yourself. Becoming your own hero.

    Having said that, unfortunately I find it hard to belong to any of the 3 cultures I've had the pleasure of being a part of: Palestian, Canadian, and Jordanian in temporal order. I'm a mixture of all 3, and this mixture is forever changing.
    Throwing the word hate is a sign of immaturity, especially when it is inclusive...Anywho, I say to those who hate their, oh my bad, Our culture, congratulation for being accepted by the "others"..
    hahaha Hani, my other username was taken on wordpress so I used my email :)
    • #9
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 2/6/2008 6:13:46 AM
    Yes.. Fix a few.. One even.. But don't stand there!

    Just fix,
    Instead of hiss..
    • #10
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 2/6/2008 6:27:05 AM
    Ah... indeed my friend, you touched on a critical point, which I shall cover in my next post as a response to the "A Moment to Reconsider" post.
    unfortunately, I am (or was) one of those ppl who would be willing to be agents of change. But I slowly find myself being submerged by the environment around me. My values are slowly decaying and I feel that I am more and more becoming part of the culture.

    I agree with Hani that I don't find myself belonging to any one culture but to a mix of cultures. Yet, we are talking at a very abstract level and we should try to focus on the main cultural things and how we can change them..at least at individual basis (like you said to Tinkerbella)
    Hatem
    You're right about hate.

    Afaf
    People appear to be listening ... but it's rare that they do ..

    Hani Obaid
    I still believe  in not mentioning names. I prefer to help instead of singling out people. Yet, many will just come up and declare Jihad on you
    Attacking the idea, and people who do wrong is key here. Attacking a whole culture is useless and a waste of time. I happen to have made these remarks before, but now I strongly believe that fixing the culture starts with fixing some key people first
    And you're right, hating one's culture is very similar to hating your own self.

    You are the sum of all three! And have 3 advantage over someone who belongs to any one of those

    Mohanned
    Absolutely Mohanned. You're right, it's extremely immature. Because, if anything, they managed to alienate themselves which is exactly the opposite of what they intended

    Sara
    Exactly, that's the whole idea

    KJ
    I will be waiting to read yours :)

    Hamza
    Don't lose hope man. Don't be driven by frustrations to just submit to the norms.
    You are a mix of cultures too, a sum that is greater than the parts. Which gives you an advantage over everyone else
    Hate or Not, the way i see is it is that it is a very strong drive to change and develop....but i have to admit that we are too lazy to do anything about it....so we'd rather complain than act...we live on the glories of our past (cutural and historical achievemnts).
    I wonder, what can just give us that extra boost that will get us off our lazy bums and make a difference in our culture? We shouldn't hate our culture or our selves...we should hate what we did to ourselves, and do something about it!!!
    Thanks for your birthday wishes on Mala2e6's blog. :)
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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