Behind every hater, a sick past
- By: Qwaider
- On:Monday, February 04, 2008 7:22:54 PM
- In:Thoughts
- Viewed: (4217) times
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Have you ever wondered why some people seem to just hate women? Or hate men? Or hate the society? Or a religion? Or something that most people don't hate? Well, if you really can't put your finger on it, rest assured it's a sign of some very disturbing previous experiences.
Some are not even aware of it on the conscious level. While others know EXCATLY what it is and can speak volumes of their hatred and the exact reasons for it.
I'm going to start with an apology for the many people who might get offended by this. I don't mean it personally to any one of them. And I'm sure many are going to say all of this sounds too Freudian, but he's the father of all modern psychology so there's no escaping him
Many of the "Haters" have their roots back during childhood. When some event caused them some severe emotions that left them bitter for the rest of their life. This in effect caused them to focus their inexplicable hate towards some segment of people.
For example, someone who was picked-on, beaten and bullied by a fat kid at school. My end up hating fat people because they represent that bully to him. He might end up hating blond people because that bully represented blonds to him. Or might end up hating any other specific about that person. Once the person is subject to that stimulate, he finds himself retrieving these suppressed hate thoughts. These have been associated in his brains at an early age
Although I gave a simple example, there are many that might be more relevant. Specifically to the issues of women who hate men in a completely illogical way. It's not because "men are pigs" or "my boyfriend dumped me" or "that guy used me". Most of these emotions have already developed by the time the lady is old enough to have these feelings.
The original association might have been an abusive father, or older brother. Or possibly some other male relative that caused some sort of psychological disturbance to the child at an early age. Making her subconscious associate men with these "evil" men!
A recent incident that passed by me was a woman who hates the smell of her husband. After digging so much in her past. Turns out, she was forcibly abused by her own father, and she associated his smell, with the disgust that she felt afterwards. Making her uneasy even when she was older, in her home, with her own husband.
But this association doesn't necessarily have to be negative. In fact, most of our associations are positive. (The smell of cookies makes us salivate, the smell of yummy food reminds us of warm family dinners...)
So if you find yourself loving something with absolutely no reason. Or hating something or someone with absolutely no reason. Reflect on your own past.
This doesn't mean that everyone had some sort of a sick childhood or necessarily had weird fantasies! What it means is that we need to REALLY take care of our children and make sure they're not going through traumatic events that will often leave them scarred for life.
Memories....
e.g. I hate stupid people. It is true that this hatred developed because of many idiots I've met in my life--i.e. related to the past.
However, there are things that you experience for the first time and you know that you'll develop an instant feeling of either hatred or likeness towards them without having anything related to my past. e.g. my hatred towards cars & driving. Thank God i didn't have an accident in the past, and nor did I get ran over when I was a kid. But Its just a characteristic and a thing that I don't like.
things mentioned above are all correct, but they are not the base of all the (Hate), with all my respect to Mr. Freud of course
there is some other causes, and they are related to the past some how but they are not " Real Experiences in the past" for example
take a man with a vision to create something, the theories he/ she developed causes him/her to hate something (Individual, Nation, Ideas, etc)...
or the (pre-judgments) is something make anyone hate anyone based on ideas he/she heared from people around him, but he didn't live that actual experience and he just hated that thing, based on things he learned from people around him and/or being exposed to just one single ideas or a set of ideas that talked about that thing badly...
generalizations are also bad. all generalizations are dangerous, even this one... generalizations might cause someone to hate anything. and it somehow a part of (pre-judgments)...
Time, like many other things in nature, goes under the type of "hyperbolic equations", which means that every point in the present depends on some domain "the past" and affects another domain "the future". this isnt a place for physics anyway :).
I just wish that people will know this fact before making actions, and decisions.
I feel that I have to apologize because so many people suffer from these things.. All around us
Wonders
Thank you Wonders
You're right, children are like sponges, they absorb everything
Mrs Al Ramahi
Totally, really well said
Hamza
:) You hate stupid people? come on man, you should have pity on them :)
If you look back hard enough, you will discover that this hate generated because you saw something that affected you, heard something from a parent. Or heard of a painful experience that developed this association
Eitherway, If you look at the top of the post I say "can't put your finger on it. ie; inexplicable hate"
So you're right, not all hate is rooted in people's childhood.
الــــ[مش]ـــــعبيط
You're right, they're not the base of all the hate. (And I hate Feud, he was a sick bastard)
As for generalizations, that's a whole other discussion, they're mostly bad but there is no escaping them. [url=http://blog.sweetestmemories.com/default.asp?Display=314]Read more here[url]
MD
I think I liked that movies too.
Time is a hyperbolic equation? This is the first I hear of that. I think it's more of a linear equation that has two singularities. One at the speed of light, and another at extreme gravity. But otherwise, it's linear :)
But you're right, time is a continuous function making every action in the past getting a result in the future (for causal systems at least)
Why do you hate women :D
I LOVE Women KJ! LOVE LOVE LOVE I hate pedantic grouchy man disrespecting shrews ONLY!
sorry to "physics-ize" the subject when its purely social, but i think to some extent that social science isnt too far from physics, it is just more complicated and harder to observe.