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If I were a woman!

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Saturday, January 26, 2008 9:25:33 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (5736) times

    • Currently 4.8/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.8/5 stars (86 votes cast)

    If I were a woman, a Free woman, not the kind that slumbers around the beauty saloons and has air blowing through the wind tunnel between their ears ... I would ....

    Updated: Apparently, MANY think that I mean ALL women are airheads! Try not to get stuck on that, because I never meant ALL women

    My dowry would be a donation to the poor children of Gaza

    My wedding would be on the roof top of a refugee camp building... where the feast will be given to the people who need it

    My dress would be a traditional thob that I inherited from my grandmother

    My jewelry would be the sparkles in children's eyes

    My honeymoon would be a trip to escort medical supplies, provide books and blankets to kids shivering in the never ending night of Gaza

    My future husband would have to prove his worth by showing what he has done, what he has written, how many demonstrations he have joined, and how he helped. Maybe how many lashes his back was honored with

    I'd show my skills in cooking and housekeeping by cooking for a poor family who no longer can afford to eat

    And maybe my name would be, Ritta

    I know, I'm too damn romantic!

    But can I ask every lady, expecting a gift for valentine's, to ask for a donation instead? A sandwich to the poor instead of a meaning rose?

    Maybe that will wash off, the feelings of shame

    Other Memories Documented on January 26
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    Memories....

    that is IF YOU WERE A WOMEN and no pal, no matter how sentimental we get we still do have this sorta "materialistic" attribute to us.. I mean yes for being merciful and compassionate but no person THAT selfless :)
    That is IF you were a woman pal.. no matter how selfless a woman / person is, no one can get to that level of humanity.. women are known for materialistic attributes, so a rose is essential :p
    • #3
    • طفيلي(  ahmad)
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/26/2008 10:48:25 PM
    You should go out with men and stop cooking and stop watch opera program. You have very bizarre symptoms and might develop for something else.
    Are you like Ritta's future husband?

    "My future husband would have to prove his worth by showing what he has done, what he has written, how many demonstrations he have joined, and how he helped. Maybe how many lashes his back was honored with"
    Chika,
    I'm sure there are a few still out there

    طفيلي
    LOL! Thanks for your concern  :)

    Batoul
    You didn't get it :(
    No, but Rita has a special meaning to revolutionists.
    • #6
    • أنونيموس
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/27/2008 2:21:21 AM
    Maioush- I think it's your turn to write a rebuttal :) I would love to see what you have to say about our metropolitan men and caves between their ears. And the "if i were a man" part of it of course:)
    بين ريتا وعيوني بندقية
    والذي يعرف ريتا ينحني ويصلي لاله في العيون العسلية
    • #8
    • Anisa
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/27/2008 4:40:22 AM
    Your article subtly implies women are generally materialistic, selfish, with messed up priorities (hence they are slaves to fashion, beauty, money) since you are asking every lady in the universe to give up their gifts of appreciation from others and instead ask the gifter for a donation to the less fortunate.

    Huh?

    Women are often at the forefront in providing their time, energy, and money resoures to their families, communities, and chartiable organizations.   Why does she now have to refuse a token of appreciation or love from others?

    I have donated money regularly to organizations, I volunteer my time with the local masjid with the goal of improving our community, I have cooked meals for the the needy and I take my 95 year old grandmother for her doctor's appointments (along with my 3 kids under aged 7)...and I think many other women do generous and charitable things for their families and their communities.  So if husband want to surprise her with flowers, chocolates, or a nice big fat cheque for a shopping spree, then I frankly would not understand why she should refuse it, or redirect the act of kindness to someone else.

    By the way, the next organization I will be donating money to is kiva.org, which loans money to entrepreneurs in the developing world.  The money is eventually paid back to you, in full and interest free.  You can loan as little as $25.
    em... Ritta is the name of the Israeli girl on the other side of the bonduqiya in Mahmoud Darwish's poem (sung by Marcel Khalifa).
    to be honest, I was slightly provoked by the first sentence ~ if I were a woman, a free woman, salons and more ~

    If I were a man, a Free man, I would really treat women right, and attempt to be Free myself, free from whatever it is that men carry around ~ there you go ~ I feel a bit better :) oh, yes, and I wouldn't be the kind that spends time at cafes smoking hubbly bubbly, nor the kind that discusses car engines, nor the kind that looks down at women, nor the kind, etc etc etc )this can go on forever).. I feel a bit more better than the 1st time...
    Ruba and Anisa
    Please feel encouraged to register your provocation on the Richter scale.. I'm happy that I provoked you. I'm happy to see the result. I'm happy to see you acting as free women, who have a citizenship, and identity, and existence carved by you beyond what the society expected from you

    I'm a guy, I genetically can't understand how women feel and value themselves. But I understand that not all women are like you. Correct me if I'm wrong
    well... out of vanity of course, one would like to say "oh, yeah, I'm one of a kind," but I can assure you there are women out there, and I know tens of them, who are more dependable than a lot of men I met in my life - and when I say dependable, I mean inner strength, clear idea about ethics, strong sense of loyalty and love and a great deal of courage, real courage to withstand the toughest experiences. I might not be friends with these women because respecting someone doesn't mean being able to be their friend or in their life. I will say something quite bluntly here, the number of men who cultivated that sense of respect in me, compared to the women - is really a disaster.

    Men who have been tried in life (and conquered those trials) are the ones who seem to have cultivated that inner beauty that shines through them... I'm sorry if I sound condescending, but alas, not too many have made it to Greatness.
    Oh Ruba, where have you been!!!?
    If you took a count you will notice the numbers to be dwindling more and more on both sides. It's just sad how a whole generation turned out to be.
    Men, and women, used too be dependable, accountable. Rocks! Now, I'm not sure that statement is still true.
    I don't want to change this of men-vs-women, I know great men are  BUILT by great women. It's the issue of the whole generation, and in this specific case, I'm addressing the young ladies who are consumed by the modern consumerism.

    We are all unique, there's no vanity there. We just not all too unique.
    Q, I find no relation between being beautiful and having a nice wedding and on the Palestinian cause , I can't exactly find the connection?
    Now regarding your comment.
    I'm not talking about all the women in absolute, I'm talking about a specific segment .. identified by being airheads and care for nothing more than beauty saloons

    Hareega, I want to talk to you about something. I'm going to email you now
    instead of wishing you were a woman requesting donations on your valentine, why don't you, as a man, give donations to your valentine date as a valentine gift? at least you'd be satisifed and happy. But I am not sure how she gonna feel. :)
    LOL!!! Hamza .. I should do that in a room that doesn't have any sharp objects and doesn't have that thing they use to roll the dough with(shobak?)
    so women should sacrifice to solve problems caused by MEN?
    How did men create these issues? Politics is larger than any man or woman
    Without women, no society would ever rise.
    the theory of feminism is self, does not support these kinds of heterodoxies,
    Oh brother.
    Where art thou :)
    YEAH RIGHT!! you do that Q???
    see you in you second life as a woman :D , o ye7yeena o ywarjeena yak youm 3orsak as a woman LOL!
    as for أنونيموس... la3yoonak/la3yoonek ;) coming soon walahi LOL!
    Maioush has signed a deal with the devil. He's giving her 3 cents for her soul
    If you were a woman Q, you'd forget about all that once you step in the shopping center..
    i beg to differ. i have 0 materialistic molecules in my body and mind.. not all women r airheaded, but then again, u still cant make peace with women right?
    ProudPali, hmmm, then maybe you're like the women I would have been
    u dint answer the Q ya Q :P when will u make peace with women w ter7amhum min il 3udwan il 2athem?
    You think I attack women just for the sake of it :(? I don't attack women, I am trying to deliver a message for men AND women!
    Getting enthusiastic and start protesting and writing and what not, will -I'm sorry to say this- do NOTHING for the people of Gaza ! see in month or so no one will remember Gaza or any suffering part of our world. what we lack is not reaction, its action and continuity.  
    So true Tamara... But anything is better than nothing
    Well to be honest its not ! see reacting and doing something leaves our conscious sedated, we feel like we did SOMETHING when actually we did nothing. until we start changing our selves and our community to the better, which is a long hard process.Its longer and harder and far less glamorous than writing posts and protesting.

    See this way we feel better about ourselves, when we actually did nothing to be mentioned, and thus we don't have the urge to do anything else. especially when its so hard to do.     
    Wow my comment is badly written, but I think you can get the point. if not I can rewrite.
    ma fhemet, why do u have to be a woman to do all of that?
    on another note: i dont think the wedding party is much up to the girl as much as it is up to the grooms mother! ya3ni i always urged girls to have simple inhouse weddings and NOT dress that stupid white dress (beda3!) but they all say the same thing, the grooms parents (mother in specific) wouldnt let that happen, lenno el 3oros lal 3arees mosh lal 3aroos!!! (my parents repeated that statement on brothers wedding tamallo seret assadeg: hatha 3orosna mosh 3oros-ha!!)
    lah lah lah ya Q, i would never do such a deal... 3 cents?? NO DEAL :D , law aktar shwai kan nashi el 7al LOL! i'm gonna open more cases, i'm playing aaaaaaal the way.. I HAVE THE MILLION DOLLAR CASE!
    damn.. it's almost 4am and i'm "3okking" .. tesba7o 3ala 5ear ya jama3a LOL!
    if you are going to define roles in war/peace, then yes all wars are caused by men regardless of the reason behind the war :)!

    wara2 kol 7arb damieh rajol ywale3ha
    • #37
    • Naryat
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/27/2008 2:45:19 PM
    tell you some thing o no offense guys?
    No guy is interested in such a woman :-)
    Really...
    Men look for cheerful girls, ma bedo bent tjeebello el nakad...
    "Ghazza 5aleeha bghazza... ma tjeebeeli yaha 3a beeti" this is what a man will react to a woman like the one you described...
    And this is a true scentence that was told to a woman i know "falasteen 5aleeha bfalastin, ma tjeebeeli yaha 3a beeti"
    O b3den nothing stops you from being so even if you are a guy ;-)
    ta7eyyati Qwaider... :-)
    • #38
    • Naryat
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/27/2008 3:45:08 PM
    where did my comment go? iwon't type it again!! :-(
    Tamara
    I'm a firm believer that anything we do, is better than doing nothing and kissing our hands that we didn't waste our time doing something
    It's the first step on the road to better ourselves and our societies. Imagine if every woman did the same thing. Imagine if every man did the same thing.
    I have two messages in this post. First, do whatever you can, and two, there are more important things than the trivialities of modern life.
    And no matter how you write your comment Tamara, I'll get it, your words are always important to me.

    Mariam Ayyash,
    The idea is not about being a woman. It's about women driving the change. Or at least helping to drive the change
    And your friends ALL LIE it's usually what the bride wants. Gone are the days that the wedding was REALLY a matter of the groom's family
    Yeah, and why were your parents repeating those words? Because SHE wanted, and wanted and wanted ..... and usually will get everything she wants

    Maioush
    3okking?! LOL! Shakly I was 3okking before

    Wonders
    :) According to history there were many wars that started by women. It's politics habeebti .. not men and women. Wara2 kul rajol imra2ah ...

    Naryat
    I got the comment ;) It's not gone.
    Why do you think no guy is interested in serious women? Who's going to make us better? Who's going to stand by us? I beg to differ with you. A serious woman is in great demand by MATURE men. Serious and cheerful are not mutually exclusive. Besides an airhead is going to get him Nakad eventually.
    Oo a7la ta7yyati elek Naryat
    Pali.. "not all women r airheaded" ~ wow, man, that fell like a rock on me... all I can say is "not all men are pigs" ~ hope it sounds as heavy! :)
    It sounded like the norm is airheadedness with a few exceptions.
    Ruba, Pali is a nice lady, if this makes any difference
    I have targeted a specific segment. And encouraged the rest.
    aw... thought it was a man talking ~ eh, in this case, no offense sista (gosh, I sound like a man-hater already.. lol).
    No Ruba, you're no man hater :)
    It's just a misunderstanding.
    I'm a man, I didn't take offence of what you said because quite frankly many men give us all a bad name. Gosh, I've done too many things I'm not particularly proud of. But I believe people can come around and turn out to be wonderful people
    Whisperer. Thank you very much, it's amazing to know that there are ladies who think like you!
    Seriously, wow! I'm honored to hear this from you!
    • #46
    • Anisa
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/28/2008 12:24:19 AM

    You emphasize that your article is for the young ladies who are 'consumed by the modern consumerism'.  

    Why no article for the young men out there who are 'consumed by the modern consumerism' -- just look at the growing number of men who move from women to woman with no desire for long term relationships or marriage.  Isn't these types of disposable relationships a form of consumerism?  And yet still, some men are into pornography, also a type of visual consumption.

    Many young men also desire trendy clothes, music, technological gadgets and nice cars.

    I used to exercise at a fitness center (with a separate woman's area) that also offered tanning services and I can say that at about 40% of the tanning clients were men.    They were coming in the evening (after work) and they were well-dressed.Does that make them airheads if they do that on a regular basis?  Should I make suggestions to them to do something more charitable with their extra disposable income?

    Why is your article focused only on the consumerist young woman and not the consumerist young man?  
    Frankly Anisa, with the responsibilities and burdens of modern marriages, I can't blame young men for preferring the life of free birds jumping from one nest to the other. As long as they're getting what they desire.
    There's no doubt that we're all consuming way more than our ancestors did. Men or women, but one form of waste is very evident. Our lust for extravagant waste of resources that is objectified in the modern marriage expenses.
    I'm a guy giving my view on an area where I see a lot of waste is happening. An area where women can show their independence and value by leading the way for men. An area that a woman has complete control over. If this was directed towards men, asking them not to do this, you would be here arguing that it's not man's right to substitute something for another when it comes for a woman's right to have a decent marriage. There's no winning in this.
    But I encourage anyone to actually go ahead and discuss this had they been a man, this what they would have done. I would even be happy to post it for them right here, if they don't have a blog.
    looooooooool @ adoosh :D

    and Qwaider ! I don't understand why do u have to be a woman to do all this ?

    Some men r more sentimental than some women
    Simsim, I wouldn't dare to even suggest something like this to any woman. Just look at the amount of opposition I have here and you will know. And mind you, I'm just suggesting a hypothetical situation. Imagine if I was seriously and actively working on it!
    • #50
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/28/2008 6:10:21 AM
    WAllahi Sam I'm outa words.. I don't wanna praise u so that u don't think im fake or exaggerating.. but WALLAHI, THE MOST HIGH, I'm totally touched & so love those dreams.. those dreams of this angelic free soul that you're talking about :)
    thanks Q :)

    ruba, none taken, it was more of a sarcastic remark since men think all women or, for the most part, the good looking ones, r airheaded simple minded creatures that base their life on trivial matters and objects.. and i agree, not all men are pigs :D lol
    • #52
    • Naryat
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/28/2008 9:53:47 AM
    Possible, verry possible...
    May be what i am saying is out of my personal experience, which is very humble... I've seen alot of serious women getting ignored by men who are similarily (as appears!) serious to pick less serious and more cheerful women...
    And the general attitude towards serious women are the same... they get married, and may be they are appreciated in the beginning, but we see alot of them end up cheeted on or exposed to their spouses getting second wives because she 'ignored to please him' and was not 'enough interested'.... iza fi zlam be3'aru men wladhum (especially the first baby) ma bedhum yetdaya2u men qadaya muhemme o jaddeye o 5ateera 'btesta7weth' 3ala ehtimamat their coulpes!!!

    Tb3an i am not denying at all that there are decent mature men who appreciate women who are serious and educated and some what dedeicated to big issues, but the general tendency is not this.... :-)
    Well Q,if the person is doing anything to change the status, if only by a simple act knowing that they need to do more, but I'm just against the folks who write a post and go on a protest, then feel all good about themselves feeling that they did their part.
    Naryat
    If a guy is serious about establishing a life, and a family he will only look for serious ladies. These serious women are like a treasure, she has her priorities straight and they two can build a solid life


    Tamara
    Of course, that is not enough. There's so much to be done. But anything is better than nothing. People will find a reason to feel good about themselves because otherwise, they won't be able to live with themselves. Either way, you have a very valid point. It's not enough, nor is it the end of it
    I'll tell you why a lot of men prefer the submissive, salon-going type of women, or what some refer to as "airheads." Because only a great man looks for a great woman, a secure man looks for a secure women, a man who respects women looks for a self-respecting woman... and this is true of women: a woman of substance looks for a man of substance, a free woman looks for a free man. But from what I see min hal generation el Masekh, you have a shaken man whose foundations are weak, whose inner light is dim, whose interests are shallow, whose brains are full of air (cause there are male airheads out there), whose ethics are corrupted, whose soul is diminished, whose freedom is mixed up with immorality and irresponsibility on so many levels and yet he dares call it freedom.

    One final comment about activizm. There is no one right formula of doing things, and being patriotic doesn't mean Palestine, nor a certain way of helping her. A woman or a man of substance might not donate a penny, but might just lead a sincere life and carry out a lot of good deeds in a very simple manner towards themselves and others. I have greater respect to those than activists who on a personal level lead lives of self cheat.
    Aaaaaakh Ruba! You made me remember how much I :heart: smart women! Literally ... sakhsakhet! And no, I'm not being sarcastic or anything
    lol ~ i blushed ... shit man, don't do that! (ya 3aini 3al flirting lol)
    No no no ... no no no .. wallahi not flirting ... wallahi not .. nor is it an advance of any sort ..
    You know how girls sometimes get this feeling when a guy passes by with a very strong nice smell?
    That's how I feel in the presence of smart women.
    i knew you'll think I meant you ~ Actually I meant my response ~ it sounded like flirting (I'm also glad the whole universe will get the chance to read this). So, you're off the hook, Q, really :)

    I know how girls feel when that happens... i dunno what to say :) thank you :)
    No Ruba, thank you :)
    I only know 1 woman that matches that description (except the part about having hubby show her how many lashes he got and demonstrations he koined)
    I'm sure you knew more, but you just didn't pay attention :)
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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