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« If men got pregnant (Rebuttal)Hate mondays! »

The little love switch

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Monday, January 14, 2008 6:06:54 AM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4819) times

    • Currently 4.3/5 Stars.
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    Rated 4.3/5 stars (85 votes cast)

    The more I see people and couples, the more I'm convinced about a theory that have been formulating in my head for a while. Just think about it and notice how this "Theory of everything related to love" plays out. It just explains everything. But it's not limited to love, it's also our perception of people around us, family, friends, colleagues just about everyone around us. I might be completely crazy, but it is explaining so much for me.

    Consider this the string theory of emotions

    It all comes down to a little love switch. The switch that exists inside our hearts. Our conscious. We can't switch it on or off on our while someone else can say couple of words and cause the switch to flip

    Think of it this way. we have a switch for every single person we know. Every time we meet someone we add a new switch for them. We collect all we know about them, first impressions, reputation, what we read, what we hear ... everything. And we construct a virtual switch inside our hearts

    If this switch is on. We automatically accept everything we get from that person. Words have more weight, arguments are automatically accepted, and the little part of our minds that causes us to be skeptic. While the minute that switch is off. We just can't accept anything from that person. Everything no matter how complementary or nice, will be taken with a lot of skepticism. Even valid arguments are not only dissected and examined closely, they are always assumed wrong and rejected.

    Our behavior based on this emotional love switch becomes very predictable. If it's on, it's harder to disagree with the person, harder to distrust them. Our natural tendency is to agree and most importantly accept the person. The opposite is also true. If the switch is off, it is a challenge to listen to, or accept the person. Them being right or wrong is irrelevant.

    Next time you accept someone unconditionally, or give someone else hard time for no reason. Remember to check the setting on that switch, and try to be fairer.

    Here's what would help, forget the person, and focus on the issue. That would help, although it's not a solution since we really can't simply switch that switch on or off at will.

    Next time you hear about a wife or a husband who was so much in love with their better half and suddenly they just can't take it anymore, just think about that switch, and see why did it flip

    There are many reasons for flipping the switch. Catching someone cheating, conflict, extreme abuse and many other emotional shocks. But also subtle changes like finding someone else, doesn't have to be a lover. A child might substitute the emotional engagement of a person. A hobby, a job, many other things.

    Sad thing about this switch is that once it switched on or off. It becomes very difficult to switch it back again.

    If you think about it some more, you see you actually have this love switch for just about everything you encounter in your life, your job, your favorite game, movie, pet, hobby, car.. etc. We seem to have this switch for everything. If it's on, no matter how nasty and pain it causes us. We accept it. We love it and enjoy it...

    Amazing, the human mind, the human heart, the way we interpret things and justify what we don't like. Just because that little switch is on.

    Other Memories Documented on January 14
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    Memories....

    absolutely true... the transitions though are very difficult to depict. Like making a switch or switching a switch. Sometimes, I find myself switching the switch off without bothering to look at the person deep enough, we all sometimes judge by the cover. And sometimes the other way, you feel comftorable to someone and give them many advantages in a relationship wether its friendship, love, or relativity. what is that?!! whatever it is, its done me bad a few times lol.
    • #2
    • sara
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/14/2008 8:40:48 AM
    And it's all in between The Lord's Hands..

    But as you said, we at least have power over the flow of issues.. of matters.. That's the only self control we got.. And we'll be asked for someday..

    Ya muqallib alqoloob, thabit quloobana 'ala hobbak, wa hob man aabak.. Amen..

    Lovely analysis Sam..

    I'll always realte to this post throughout my life & check on my switches.. And I'll observe them while meeting all different people..

    With appreciation :)
    Well while the idea is valid, I think it also depends on the person, how extreme are we in our emotions and judgment, depends on our level of thinking and our moral values, the morals come more in focus if the person is in the place of responsibility.  
    • #4
    • spirit
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 1/14/2008 9:42:49 AM
    i agree with u and batoul we just judge by the cover and what we have in our mind of rules to decide if this person is acceptable or not although he could has a good things
    Does the switch have to be either completely on or completely off? My point is when we are in love we go blind, we do not see the mistakes that our loved one do because the switch is completely on.. and when we hate someone the switch is completely off, it should be ok to get mad but allow some love or understanding in..
    So I think we should get a dimmer not a switch to allow a balance of both feelings :)
    6b according to this theory, how do you explain neutrality of feelings?
    i.e there's someone in your life, a friend, a co-worker, a second half..etc., that you simply neither love nor hate! You don't really miss hthem when they're away, and equally you don't wanna get red of them when they're around..
    Sorry, but I really don't agree... I am someone who married my "beloved" of 6 years... we've been in a relationship on and off for SIX LONG years, and then we got married with everyone thinking that we are a match made in hevens... and look at us now, 7 years into it, and we barely say good morning to each other!
    Batoul
    Did I ever mention to you that I love your name?
    Yeah, being aware makes us have a little control. Not much though. But it leaves us self conscious

    Sara
    That is true, we don't really know how or why we have automatic acceptance to someone and not the other person.

    Tamara
    You're absolutely right in your extrapolation. My job is to help stimulate thought and your addition is valuable. It's highly dependant on the person and a million other factors.

    Spirit
    Thanks, :). We do safely fall in the trap of judging based on the cover. Judging with enough knowledge is fine.

    PrincessN
    Actually, to start accepting things from anyone, you must have a switch for them. You either ignore everything they say, or accept it. If you do anything but accept, then you have it on the Off switch. If you don't care about them, then it's on the Off switch

    Adoosh
    Neutrality is actually having the switch on OFF. You're just going to either ignore everything they say, which is similar in effect to rejecting without even considering their argument.

    Sara7a Ra7a
    Looks like you have your switch on off for me :). Let me project this theory on you
    You had the switch on ON for your husband. You would accept anything from him, and even justify everything he did or said. Even if it was wrong. After a while, things changed. You switched OFF, anything he says, good or bad is being taken way too granular with a lot of skepticism and scrutiny. Causing the whole relationship to suffer. You're a living proof that this theory is valid!
    You just flipped your switch with me! but I will not tell you on or off :)
    swith? sa7ee7 ennak engineer :D
    • #11
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 1/15/2008 8:45:42 AM
    It is true from a psychological point of view. These switches are simply threshold barriers.

    To have a "fairer" switch is to simply add the "realistic" switch. In other words, just like the relationship between parents and children, the unconditional love puts a different form of priority list and changes it from acceptance to best interest, and this is what unconditional love is. It isn't about accepting everything but rather going after the best interest of people involved.
    Walla I don't have any switches ya Qwaider!!! 3ala golet Mariam, seems you're an engineer... I just do not agree because although I can not stand my husband right now, and I hate everything about my life... I LOVE him ela ab3ad el 7odoud, and not willing to give up on our relation. Yalla 3ad, explain that!
    Fire-Faten
    LOL, I will not even dare to ask

    Mariam,
    Yep, it helps to visualize things :) And you left "String theory" and "Theory of everything" and caught with the switch?!

    Kj
    Switch, threshold barriers, buttons. We can call them anything with relevance, I have no issue with that.
    But, how can we be realistic when we're naturally biased to the people we like and against those we hate?
    In the relationship between parents and children, I think the switch is always ON at least most of the time. Parents WANT TO believe their kids in everything. But then, they think about things and change their mind

    Sara7a Ra7a
    You, just like everyone else, have switches. What you described is how "hope" is interfering with the function of the switch. You WANT TO keep the switch open, when things have developed inside you that are pushing towards flipping it off.
    Ya 3ammi ba3dain you have a husband who loves you with all his heart, there's no way you will allow that flip to switch
    • #15
    • KJ
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 1/15/2008 9:51:40 AM
    Ah but see, realistic is a subjective term as well. What does realistic mean anyway!

    I guess I should have put it "as realistic as possible" ie taking things into consideration and not for granted.

    Yes we are naturally biased towards the people we love, otherwise there wouldn't be a need to love and hate if everyone will be treated equally.

    But relationships are symbiotic and there must be give/take with the giving on your part being "helpful" if I may say so, regardless of the other party's inclination/liking to your input
    I am not disagreeing with that.. There is always a give and take, give care or love or what have you, and receive attention and respect anything else if I may add

    But if we go back to the original idea, people we subconsciously accept everything from. And people we subconsciously reject everything from.. There doesn't even need to be a full relationship to get to that level. A pretty girl might have all the switches open in front of her, while an ugly/scary dude might have them all off. We're sometimes not even aware of these switches as they click back and forth.
    M3allim.... it's REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY ok to admit that your theory might have small, tiny, very insignificant, un-noticable defects... (God you're such a male ;)

    Ba3dain have you even seen or talked to Sa3d to know if he loves me with all his heart or he just thinks inno he's stuck with me? His life sentense as he "affectionatly" calls me?
    He loves you ... :)

    As for my theory... It's just a theory :) I'm not offended if it doesn't explain everything. Even "general relativity" couldn't explain everything

    And yeah, for the amount of argument, and slightly, altering your argument, you're such a woman :)

    Trust me, he loves you
    You too can have your Memories Documented

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