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« Leopard is Vista!We all fall down! »

What kind of a sexist are you?

  • By: Qwaider

  • On:Friday, November 30, 2007 11:39:50 PM
  • In:Thoughts
  • Viewed: (4703) times

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    Rated 4.4/5 stars (103 votes cast)

    I keep hearing the same arguments from both sides of the isle. Women attacking men and accusing them of oppression, abuse, sexual exploitation. While men are mostly silent with very few exceptions, but they respond back sometimes with very sexist remarks and arguments that undermine a whole gender, half the society.

    Sexist - Not Sexist

    That's one thing, however there's a huge difference between the mental orientation and the real-life-actual and physical application of these ideas. Where the argument becomes completely reversed and men -in practice- become more of the aggressors. Mostly happening behind closed doors.

    The mentality of women in Jordan for example has been reshaped to accept abuse as a fact of life, a normal part of life. Beatings, emotional and verbal abuse, and even asymmetrical responses to honor crimes appear to be the least of their worries. But if you look at publications, you will notice a trend that is completely against that. It's not hypocrisy, it's the social schizophrenia that we suffer from. The schizophrenia that mandates that we must believe something that never reflects anything tangible in real life!

    Most of the female bloggeretts I read have a specific position towards men. They -blindly accuse everyone of committing the same level of oppression. Which leads me to passionately believe that reverse sexism is alive and well in the Arab and related worlds.

    Just ask your self one thing. If you hear about an issue between a Man and a Woman. Who do you blame FIRST? If you answer this question sincerely, you will know internally who you're siding with when not enough evidence is around!

    It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. It doesn't matter if you sympathise with women issues or not. What matters is the way your brain connects the dots. The way your brain extrapolates when facing ambiguity.

    Saying the above keeps everyone honest. If not towards the world, it would be towards their own self. Test your self. Learn how your brain functions and then make a decision that YOU WILL NOT judge based on your natural tendency to be sexist. You natural tendency to side with men or women. This will most certainly help.

    At the end of the day, we're ALL sexist, either by affiliation, affinity, association or psychology. We might act differently at different stages of our lives and our moods, circumstances. But knowing what our basic bias is will help us negate this effect. Consider it like fine-tuning the moral balance. If you're left shifted, then you might want to move your zero point off center a bit.

    Think of this story, and based on your answer you will know your bias

    "A loving husband goes back home. Enters the house and start shouting at his wife"

    A final note here, Women are as guilty of sexism as men are. Sometimes towards their own gender

    Other Memories Documented on November 30
    « Leopard is Vista!We all fall down! »

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    • #1
    • afaf
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 12/1/2007 2:03:42 AM
    well, it is everywhere not only in the arab world, dear. but here they tend to treat them equally, so they claim.
    i remember my son came to me and said he wanted to set a club for boys only!! i was shocked, cuz we never talk about boys or girls in that sense. when i asked him about other girls who r his friends, he said they can set their own girls club...now that is weird, makes me believe it is more genetic...
    i never blame one side over the other, until i hear the full story, at least from one side...it is hard to make an assumption...have to get to teh bottom of it, dear...
    good luck with rest...
    Oh my kind of topic! am a hardcore feminist & nothing will change my mind
    • #3
    • Lulu
    • Windows Firefox Browser
    • Said
    • On: 12/1/2007 2:09:45 AM
    I agree with what you say. You have to be honest and use a sound judgment when looking at things. I've never blamed someone based on his/her gender. On the other hand, you can't deny the fact that women in the Arab world still face obstacles in regards to gender identity. People should start regarding women as capable human beings who can contribute to the society.
    About the shouting man, it seems contradictory to me, a loving husband shouting at his wife if you'reimplying this is consistent, but then I've never been married. Although, The only time I remember my dad shouting is when he and my mom have a social appointment and she is 30+ minutes late.

    In the US, the most obvious illustration of what you are suggesting is rape cases. When picking jury members the accused rapist's lawyer (whether he's guilty or not) will always try to put more men on the jury because women are statistically proven to predetermine guilt on this type of case regardless of the facts. Most of the time, they are right, however there are enough false accusations of rape and sexual harassment to make this attitude illogical. Motives can easily be assigned. eg. favorible devorce settlement, revenge for betrayal, or plain old malice.

    Here in Amman, the funniest thing I find about how men and women behave is that my male coworkers suddenly turn into saints when there are women around. As soon as no woman is within earshot, they start talking about everything sexual, and the level of language used in hazing each other becomes abusive and dirty when there are no women around.

    As far as reverse-sexism, this is also common among men. Men are more considerate to women than they are to other men. I've seen guys sell out their male best friend who they've known for years at the whim of a beautiful woman they just met. This applies to the west as well. eg. Never were conditions in the workplace given much attention until women joined the workforce.
    Hani,
    Imagine if he started shouting because he noticed that she was all wet and about to drop the toaster and get electrocuted and die. Would this change the situation?
    The mind connects the dots. And you just proved it. Care to think of other situations where the man would be commended for shouting at his wife? (and something that is common sense and not sexist)
    Sure, but one can argue that there is a distinction between shouting and raising your voice where shouting tends to imply anger. Having said that yes I understand the presumption of guilt on the part of the man is deeply engrained in a lot of us !
    • #7
    • T
    • Windows Internet Explorer
    • Said
    • On: 12/1/2007 10:51:32 AM
    Look at the prison populations round the world and you will see the vast majority are men.  Whilst doing family protection projects here in Jordan I have always felt that there are two sides to every story and that sometimes men are abused by women.  But men have the upper hand with financial and physical power and women have to resort to other tactics.  So many women stay in abusive situations because they can see no way out especially in this part of the world where it is frowned upon for women to live on their own.  T
    In the US, women used to be oppressed by society, being considered a second-class citizen (this is of course still going on in the Arab world). As much as they'd like to think, women in the US still are not as free as they think they are, because men have convinced them that sexuality is the answer to everything... its so sad wallahi.

    I hope that one day women can stand out for their brains instead of their bodies.

    But yes, society is harsher on men much more than they are on women.
    Consider a playboy and a playgirl...he is a hero, while she is automatically a slut.

    And the sexism still stands...women are an active part of the workplace but that simply means they work at home and out of it...most of the domestic duties still fall on the shoulders of women in most households.

    But to be honest, I feel sorry for men sometimes. There is a study I recently read that talks about how schools, colleges etc have all been re-structured to allow for girls to suceed and boys are now falling behind.

    What everyone needs to understand is that men and women are NOT the same and all this equality stuff is BS. This is not to say that women lack brains because THAT is not true... women are often smarter than men, as you see all around you. But there is a reason there are two genders, so they can compliment each other. Women excel at some areas in the workplace while men excel at others. Of course, each can still excel in each other's place but the fact remains that each man and each woman needs to find THEIR own place in society and find something THEY are comfortable with and stop fighting each other.

    Ok this is a long random comment but hopefully I got my point across!
    Tinker, but you just decided to make him a hero and her automatically a slut. This isn't automatic.

    About sexuality, it is a strength not a weakness, nothing to feel sorry about. All other aspects equal, People who are more attractive will get further ahead. This applies to both men and women. It isn't just restricted to appearance though, people who are nicer, and easier to deal with will also get ahead.

    The point is Western women have both options, be the classic house wife, or work for a living. Choice = power

    About domestic duties, what domestic duties ? cleaning/laundry/cooking/kids ? With the new model these translate to maid/washing-machine/takeout/babysitter.
    hani, I dont make it automatically, this is society's view (n btw, my comment reads wrong ...society is harsher on women than on men)

    i dont think sexuality is a strength. thats what men have convinced women to believe but its not. why does she have to parade around half naked to prove how powerful she is while a man simply has to have a great resume? why cant she have a great resume and prove her power thru that instead of using her huge boobs?

    I agree with u that choice = power

    but LOL @ the domestic duties... yea, that stuff still takes time, even with all the easy stuff! and no, takeout isnt exactly a way to live and if ur gonna leave the kids with the babysitter, why have em in the first place???
    she doesn't have to parade around half naked, and that would probably back fire as it is so obvious the whole office will hate her, but sexuality can be used in a much more subtle manner. A nice perfume, a smile, tone, etc... This will enhance a great resume, as opposed to replace it.

    Again this applies to men as well, bald men will have less success than full haired. this is partly because they tend to lack confidence, but also because people will react differently.

    It may not be politically correct to say this, but I feel it has some truth in it.

    I agree, better not to have kids, they're annoying anyway !
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